Greetings, Atheist Republic! I've started this forum to seek advise on a religion related problem of mine.
I am a newcomer to atheism, and most- if not all- of my family members are strongly Christian. I am afraid to tell my parents about my lack of religion, as I don't want them to see me as an evil person. I am very young (I can't even drive a car yet!), and still live with them. I don't believe that they would kick me out, but I worry that once I tell them that they'll treat me differently. I also worry that they won't believe me, thinking that it's just a phase, or that I've been influenced by media (This was just the case when I tried to tell them that I'm bisexual, but I'll save that for another time.). I could just keep my atheism a secret, but I hate having to lie about who I really am to my own parents!
How do I tell them about this? What can I do to soften the blow?
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Hi
It seems you are set on telling them, but first... really conscider that you dont have to tell them, at least not for the time being. Others have thought that their parents wouldn't react too harsly and ended up i homeless shelters or have had other really unpleasant experiences.
I really recommend that you wait until you have a job and somewhere to live on your own.
But if / when you tell them, I advidce against using the word "Atheist". That word carries with it a range of misconsceptions, especially among believers. It's as if the word itself is evil to many of them. Calling your self "non-religious" could perhaps make a difference, or to just say that you "don't believe" or "lack faith". The label "atheist" is not required at all.
Like Pragmatic says. Even here you mention being non-religious versus godless, even though we know what you mean, so keep the sting out of it and let the non-religious carry the day. If you go about shooting down people's gods they might not leave you on their Christmas gift list, to say it mildly.
BTW, my younger son just turned 18. You two could have great discussion on this subject and enjoy some camaraderie. He grew up with a non-practicing catholic mother and me, a strident atheist, but discerned his own perspective without influence from either of his parents. My older son, now 23, has also arrived at a philosophical point where he dismisses all god-stuff but keeps it a peaceful topic. They were lucky to have the parents they have or, who knows, maybe they missed their callings as priests.
Nah...
Anyway, bide your time. You have lots of it to cope with between now and when you become your own caretaker so it'll give you the art of tolerance.
No matter when you decide to tell them you are an atheist,try being explicit for your reasons to be so,making them understand where is coming from.This will make it easier for them to accept you for who you are and maybe it will influence a bit their perspective too.
Good luck!
Yeah it is hard enough being a teenager trying to figure out life. No need to rock the boat. As other suggested it might be best to avoid the term atheist, at least at first. If you feel you need to say something you could always use some wishy-washy stuff like "searching for the truth" or "just trying to figure it all out" to express your skepticism. But even those might get you into hot water. Just my random thoughts!
I'm new here, but this particular post touched me as I am a mother and I have a 17 year old son. I don't believe in 'God'; my son's father does. However, we've never influenced him in any particular direction, we've always allowed him to go down his own path and be who he is and make his own decisions. My son does not believe in God. That was his choice. I respect his choice. If he would have chosen to believe, I would have respected that as well, just like I respect that most of his family, his dad included, believes in this so-called higher power.
I personally agree with The Pragmatic. I don't think it's really necessary to tell them right now. But that's up to you and how strongly you feel about it. I you really want them to know, that's your choice. But especially since you're very young and not yet ready to move out on your own, you might want to keep it hush-hush for now. However, that also depends on just how religious your family is and if they're asking/making you go to church or other religious events that cause you to become uncomfortable.
Nyarlathotep also makes some great suggestions. If your family even asks, just say you're still searching or trying to figure things out.
Great advice in this thread.
You know back in the old days we had such fun with the Jews and Christians,well it wasn't fun for them but it was damm fun for us Romans. Sadly all good things must come to an end. In that case stupid Constantine legalized Christianity and things only went downhill from there. So speaking from experience Take take the advice from an old roman centurion and keep your mouth shut,just because they can't stone you anymore does not mean that they will not make your life a living hell.Just remember always look on the bright side.
My answer is ... Carefully. You risk alienation from them so be wary
Hi. I just stuck to a different point of view until it became quite obvious that I don't believe in that stuff. I've never once used the word atheist though. Just expressed my disbelief.
Personally, it feels like this is not about the specific words you say, but the way you say it. At the end of it all, it is undesirable for the religious parents to hear that their child Rejects religion. A lot of people equate religion and morals. You can display good values in Daily Life by carry yourself respectfully and having a good repore especially with your parents. Remember it's all about your actions. The way you illustrated it, your parents will still have your back.
Tell them on April first that you're gay and then let them off the hook by telling them about the atheism thing