Help with my song fellow atheists?

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jamiebgood1's picture
Help with my song fellow atheists?

So Im writing a political song that tackles hatreds of all sorts and I would love some of your thoughts.
As a kid I spent a lot of time at my Grandparents house across the street and we watched a lot of old movies and shows. I Love Gene Kelly, Ginger Rogers, Rita Hayworth, Bette Grable and so many more.
A show that always intrigued me was The Twilight Zone
So last year I started writing this song with the twilight zone idea if things were different than we know.
some music video ideas include:
1. Panning a plantation of white slaves. African American rich slave owner gets ice tea on the porch from a dirty port white girl
2. A straight couple running up church steps so excited with their marriage license and being turned away by homosexual pastors
3. A mens beauty pageant where penis size is measured and posted on a big screen.
4. Little alter boy at pulpit demonizing priests

Too Much?

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Pitar's picture
Wowzers, Jamie. Seriously

Wowzers, Jamie. Seriously tugging the carpet out from beneath some conventional soles/souls/roles, eh?

#1 - Careful with that one because, as I understand it, there was more than a simple task of delivering tea awaiting the little girl so keep a gentleman on the porch.
#2 - I see the two gay collars relenting with the stipulation they get to kiss the groom.
#3 - And baseball bats for measuring the other end - total cringe-worthy must be total.
#4 - Yes, but only after the camera captures their wanton stares. This one conflicts with #2, though, so you'll need to bring balance to the (bend-over) forces.

______________________________

Anyway, I let the inner jousting a chance to find a champion now and then myself but the older I get the more I realize one man's champion is another man's rascal. This is not a song - just the lyric.

The Strongest Beast – (Of Shepherds, Sheep, Politicians and voters)

Words I’ve read of principles
From those who’d be a prince
From vaults of timeless masters
There have been no better since

And those who toiled before us
Struggling for their peace
Killing men to kill a hurt
But not the inner beast

(Chorus)

The higher ground we seek
Salvation’s just a cloud
Trampled down beneath our feet
Silver linings cry aloud

The words have now been used up
Worn out, abused and bent
Bartered off for pittances
Twisted, stamped and sent

(Chorus)

Once again a loyalty shines
For one who’s wit is gold
Once again the music cries
One more master has been sold

Chorus –
Hollow claims of credence staged in hallowed halls
Disguised with words the masters wrote so long ago
What becomes the torrent while his trumpet calls
When the strongest beast puts on the better show

jamiebgood1's picture
My goodness you have some

My goodness you have some insanely good advice Pitar.
Did you write these lyrics. I have to admit I read them over and over because each lord has so much to say and think about. Beautiful, made me loose my breath at times:)
I agree the first one can be tricky. If it shows too much detail its offensive to many. If it shows too little of the realities some of what happened it would be pointless. I love you ideas for the others. Ive mentioned once or twice my mental issues which is why I appreciate some logical editing. Thanks Pitar

Pitar's picture
It's just a lament about the

It's just a lament about the conduct of people who are wasting too much perfectly good breathing oxygen in close proximity to me.

Your song is a highly visual proposition that needs to be carefully story-boarded.

At first glance the knee-jerk is to applaud it as a pay-back. The imagery is succinct and in-your-face stark. Then, after mulling it over you feel the hurt behind each of the 4 and then rationalize that they cannot be culled from the whole that represents the human condition. You can't treat them in isolation without being disloyal to the conditions that brought them into existence in the first place.

Man is a rascal unto himself. That much we know. We are involuntarily brought into existence and then simultaneously handed an instinct to survive accompanied by an epitaph of death. Wonderful. I did not ask to be here, have a will to live and yet I know I won't (fovever). Hence the imagination's contribution of gods and immortality. It's the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

So, man was handed a raw deal by the seeds of a great chemical crap shoot and its resulting primordial blueprinting. We are fucked, as they say. What to do?

Live as best we can while we can. And, just how do we do that?

We're all born the same. Or, are we?

Mother Nature, that bitch, just can't be relied on the be consistent. Freaking women....See where I'm taking this thought?

For the most part we have a natural world that attracts itself for procreation. Then we have an unnatural world that repulses the procreative forces and these are the freaks, the cast-offs of nature's ill-gotten progeny and unfortunates. In other words, Mother Nature is not a lesbian if the natural world, in attraction to itself, can stand in evidence of that. She's as hetero and she can get. But, there are moments when her nature inexplicably runs afoul of itself and brings to life opposing progeny who are not accepted as natural. They are the unnaturals and the only thing they share in common with naturals is the burden of life itself. Natural versus Unnatural, Normal versus Abnormal, the world can only define things into these two categories and humanity is not excused from it.

Is this just related to same-sex preference occurrences?

No.

An industrialized world, from that which still remains in evidence at the basest level of tribal existence, spans the gamut of advances man has achieved. Here he is on a planet of resources he has gathered and rendered to his betterment but not as a global population in the collective sense. He has done so in an exclusionary sense, producing unbalanced wealth, and currently illustrates it in a scenario we colloquially dub The Haves and The Have-Nots.

Are the unbalanced achievements and wealth a happenstance occurrence or more towards design? Leaving imagination (theism) out of the mix, let's look at that evolutionary blueprint again. What do we see on the page? We don't know, you and I, but the marks and scratches and symbols the experts read, and the evidence from the archeological records of man, tells us that certain traits follow certain geographical locations of early man and each has a deposit of clues regarding the various ages and advancements.

Africa, thought to be the cradle of man's existence, is also the most primitive. Figures, eh? The kids leave home, learn new things their parents don't know or understand about their world in common, and yet never return to help the aging get along better with that knowledge. Bastids, all of them!

Europe, if we want to see the Renaissance as the apogee of man's rise from the depths of the preceding Dark Ages, brought us the arts, the sciences, the humanities and, most importantly, the cognizance that advancement of the human condition was more important than the dog-eat-dog world it had previously known. Man: He can be taught!

So, we have a world that produced a natural set of conditions establishing a procreative process into turpitude, but has erred and provided us with examples of unnatural progeny in the form of same-sex preference. These unnatural progeny have labeled themselves, because labeling is also a natural human behavioral trait, the LGBTQ>s

And, the European man is in a state of advancement well ahead of the African man early in his existence. The former considered itself intellectually superior, in a time of inferior reasoning, to the latter and a global system of stature (casts) was the messy product of that thinking.

But, for the moment, let's consider this: It was man's natural inclination and blueprinting to follow the path he followed. We have differing sensibilities and sensitivities now but that cannot be used to judge the past. If that logic worked on man's psyche there would no wars fought after learning the lessons of the first. No, we like to make war. It's that large funny-shaped thingy on the lower left side of the blueprint that just can't seem to be completely erased. Similarly, we like to be competitive and the power of wealth ensures it remains a well played game. And, sadly, we like normal, which is the basis for being the best competitors we can be and, ultimately, the victorious combatants of a warring life form. Unnaturals and lower casts need not apply to that club, which is the ultimate product Mother Nature has provided this world and represented in our particular species. Fortunately for us, we can be taught if we want to learn. I think that is a slow coming dawn but I have faith.

When people ask me if I have faith I say I do but I mean in man. I have faith he will ultimately prove his worth to himself first and then as a world in community with itself.

___________________________________________

We now leave that show and return to your previously schedule events. All of them were natural to man at one point and to judge them out of historical context by today's sensitivities is a contrivance of judgement, much less justice. Your points, copied below, I've expanded by like-numbering beneath them.

1. Panning a plantation of white slaves. African American rich slave owner gets ice tea on the porch from a dirty port white girl
2. A straight couple running up church steps so excited with their marriage license and being turned away by homosexual pastors
3. A mens beauty pageant where penis size is measured and posted on a big screen.
4. Little alter boy at pulpit demonizing priests

1. On the matter of cultural differences and treatments, body features were graded lowest to highest by darkest to lightest. Merge them with intellectuality and you arrived at the ignorant black man on the bottom wrung and the intellectual white European at the top. Servants to those being served and corollaries drawn to their respective treatments, it was all man's natural ordering of things back then and still exists today without looking too hard.

2. Throughout history man has, by degrees, tolerated his homosexual brother. Never has there been a time when same-sex preference was considered natural, or normal, and such men were cast out to the fringes of their communities and societies because they could not contribute children (future child-bearing wives and their soldier sons) to man's warring ways. They were a burden (useless mouths to feed) on those societies so they were never allowed into the inner-circles of man's world community. Sound familiar?

3. This was a normal claim to masculinity in ancient Rome. Hetero men, usually wealthier dignitaries, had mural size full body portraits of themselves painted in their homes depicting their weezers hanging down and stopping just above the ankle. It was supposed to symbolize their sexual prowess among the women. Penis size, throughout the old world, was a symbol of fertility and can be found in the various statuary archeology has unearthed for us. So, I can't ascribe it to gay men as a behavior exclusive to them, but it is an archaic measure civilized men have long since discarded as any form of personal worth or esteem.

4. There's a current middle east sentiment among men that states women are for having babies and boys are for having fun. This has been the way of it for young boys since time immemorial. Each soldier of ancient Sparta, Greece, was given a young boy to do with as he pleased as payment for training him to be a soldier. When that boy grew to be a man, and a soldier in his own right, he was allowed to take a wife and was issued his own little boy to train into a soldier. The cycle continued and guaranteed a strong army for a warring nation. Carry that into other nations and still see it today in the tribes of the Muslims spread out there in diaspora. They still war between themselves over the availability of little boys. Even in ancient Rome the norm was for men of certain civic stature to entertain themselves with little boys. The Church was not immune to such base pleasure.

On the surface, the points remain ugly features of man but there's a very large audience aware they are held well outside the norms and circumstances they were birthed in. Writing a song about them will probably get some traction, if done right, with a certain audience. But if it is written to champion the underdogs, I think they might sense they're being patronized and it could back-fire. Only they can be a credible source for their plight.

Your inner rage asks that you contribute for them, through them, but their own rage is not something they share outside their community. I know, like you, my wife was a life-long cosmetologist and by association I met many, many people from that profession with same-sex preferences. Also, I owned an upscale bar and grill that employed similar-minded people. Their personal baggage is not natural to opposite-sex baggage, by all measures and degrees, and it was interesting to be in their midst on an on-going basis. They became over-wrought about the most trivial things and no reality (norm) could assuage their mini and many tragedies. On the grander scale - marriage equality, et al, I was with them 100% but otherwise they tired me right the fuck out. Anyway, yea, if you feel you need to write a song about the inequities amongst men treat it as the comedy it is and leave the tragedy to the people living it where they want to be left to suffer alone amongst themselves.

jamiebgood1's picture
I might just have to print

I might just have to print this out and bust out my highlighter. :)
I used to do that with bible verses because I wanted to implant them in my head never to forget. You have explained in beautiful thoughtful detail and I really appreciate it. I have of lot to discover about people that are different from me and without careful planning my song could offend the wrong people. Thank you Pitar:)

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