How Many Christians Can We Get?

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Cognostic's picture
How Many Christians Can We Get?

If we start a bogus prophecy about the end of times. Let's say June 14, 2019 at midnight. We prove the prophecy with all sorts of biblical mumbo-jumbo. We start a prophecy blog where all the atheists pretend to be Christians falling for the false prophecy for a few months and citing how miraculous and great it is going to be to see Jesus. Oh Yea! And in ordered to be raptued you must be standing in the middle of the street with no clothes on. Clothing will hinder the departure of the soul as it exits the body. How many naked Christians would we see?

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arakish's picture
I would say since Heysoos

I would say since Heysoos said he would return like a thief in the night, probably none.

rmfr

Algebe's picture
@Cognostic: How many naked

@Cognostic: How many naked Christians would we see?

Oh the humanity. Spare me the naked Christians.

Imagine TD Jakes, Al Sharpton, or Ted Haggard without clothes to conceal the mid-blasting horrors.

arakish's picture
Please... Please! NO!! My

Please... Please! NO!! My virgin eyes could not handle it...

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
Or better: Ray Comfort, Kirk

@Algebe Or better: Ray Comfort, Kirk Cameron, Ken Ham, or Andrew Schlafly... we would never unsee it...

David Killens's picture
It would be a fun and

It would be a fun and interesting con, but I could not participate in it. Based on how gullible so many christians are, some deaths would result. And I cannot participate in any activity where this kind of result occurs.

Talyyn's picture
To be fair, and in order to

To be fair, and in order to avoid any violence, we could set the place of waiting as a nudist beach?

edited for omitted word

Grinseed's picture
Why bother? They do this to

Why bother? They do this to each other all the time and with less regard than atheists for the safety of others.
If atheists set it up and are exposed, we will only look petty and mean.
When they do it to themselves they look foolish.

Isn't it always end times?
I prophesise another Judgement Day will be declared before the end of 2019.
Please do have some eggnog ready Tin.

Cognostic's picture
YES.... I concede your

YES.... I concede your point. I was thinking of it as a practical joke but given that so many of them would take it seriously, I guess it would not be that funny. Once we confessed, "Hey guys, just joking." Half the population would probably fall into depression and off themselves. We can just sip on eggnog and have a laugh at the next prophecy when they do it to themselves again.

Tin-Man's picture
@Grinseed

@Grinseed

Got a special batch of "End of Days" eggnog aging as we speak. For obvious reasons, I want it to be extra-strength. Just wish somebody would finally get the damn day right!

Rohan M.'s picture
@Grinseed Apparently the rap

@Grinseed Apparently the rap-ChOOr should have happened after the blood moon here in North America on Sunday night (1/20/19).

Edited to add picture that I took of eclipse.

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Dan Morris's picture
I'm still trying to get these

I'm still trying to get these naked images out of my head! It's like the song that never ends.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Dan Morris

@Dan Morris

Oh goat, that song...

This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
But it goes on forever just because, because, because
This is the song that never ends...

Cognostic's picture
So there is this atheist

So there is this atheist standing on a manhole cover at 3AM in the middle of the hotel district in Seoul. (I live in Korea) He starts jumping up and down and yelling "3, 3, 3, 3," at the top of his lungs. As it happens Reverend Moon is having a revival meeting in the area and a million Korean Christians are staying in the hotels. "3, 3, 3, 3, 3," the atheist yells as he jumps up and down.

Soon a window opens and a Good Christian man sticks his head out. "Hey down there. You shut up!"

The Atheist in the street ignores him, "3, 3, 3, 3, 3, " still jumping up and down.

"If you no be quiet, I come down there an hit you in the head." The Christian shouts. (He is Korean remember.)

The atheist ignores him and continues jumping and shouting "3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, "

The good Christian Korean vanishes from the window but a moment later he walks out the sliding glass doors of the hotel dressed in a robe and slippers. He stomps into the street and up to the atheist who is jumping up and down on the manhole cover. "Why you no go to sleep. We have big Church meeting tomorrow 6AM. You go home now."

The atheist ignores him and keeps jumping and shouting, "3, 3, 3, 3, 3, "

"Hey, hey, hey...Why your do that?"

"Hu?" The atheist notices the Christian for the first time and stops jumping.

"I say, why you do that? I sleep now. It be 3AM."

"I'm having fun."

"No no, no fun. You disturb sleep."

"No it's fun. Really really fun. You should try it."

"I no try. You go home. It be 3 AM. You go home now."

"No really its fun. It gets your blood flowing and its good for your health."

"No good for health. Sleep good for health. God good for health."

"Look, you try it and if you don't like it I will go home."

"No. You go home now. I no try. I go bed. I sleep."

"If you don't try it I will just stay here and keep jumping."

"Okay. I try. Then you go home."

"Yes!"

The atheist steps off the manhole cover and the Christian steps onto the manhole cover. "Now you have to jump up and down," says the atheist.

The Christian begins jumping.

"Higher,........Higher .......... Higher......." Urges the Atheist.

The Christian jumps higher and higher and higher. "Now yell out 3, 3, 3, 3, 3."

The Christian yells out "3, 3, 3, ........"

The atheist removes the manhole cover. The Christian falls into the hole. The atheist replaces the manhole cover, gets on top of it and starts jumping up and down yelling "4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, ......"

Rohan M.'s picture
So... this atheist eventually

So... this atheist eventually ends up trapping the entire hotel inside and then jumping on it shouting, "a million, a million, a million!"

Fallen's picture
@original post

@original post

You know the sad truth is that even after admitting the hoax, some people would still believe.

Fast forward a hundred years, and a Christian sect has formed around the hoax, and people strip naked in the street annually as part of a ceremony nobody knows the origin of. Just like many of the ceremonies currently practiced.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
"The Orville" addressed the

"The Orville" addressed the topic of religions forming around a simple misunderstanding very well.

arakish's picture
And I loved that episode.

And I loved that episode. Even ordered the First Season on BRD. That show is great. In fact, they addressed it twice. Once with that big honking ship, then when the First Officer (forget character name) did that healing thing. Both were great episodes. Even loved the internet thing with the up and down votes thing.

rmfr

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
Agreed on everything. The

Agreed on everything. The first officer is Kelly Grayson. Which episode has the honking ship? I seriously can't remember.

arakish's picture
About mid-season I think.

About mid-season I think. Episode 4, "If the Stars Should Appear".

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
Well as you know the very

Well as you know the very religious types will eat up almost anything that pushes a bunch of Christian buttons, so it will inevitably convince at least some Christians... >:)

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