But how woke are you really?

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SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
But how woke are you really?

In case you're unfamiliar with the slang, My fellow millenials and I use the word "Woke" as an adjective to describe ourselves as enlightened or simply woken up to the truths of this world. Not just believing in common myths. Anyone can be "Woke" if they really cared to be.

So let's have some fun. Here's a little quiz:


I got 30 out of 35. Guess im a bit drowsy lol. How "Woke" are you?

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Tin-Man's picture
Haven't taken the test yet,

Haven't taken the test yet, but I just want to say that I'm so woke that I have to down two bottles of Five Hour Energy Drinks just slow me down enough to be able to take a nap.

Okay, going to take the quiz now.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
That's pretty woke. I see the

That's pretty woke. I see the tin man skips no oil changes lol

Tin-Man's picture
Dammit... Got about halfway

Dammit... Got about halfway through the quiz and the screen flipped to some sort of "error" message telling me the site stopped working or some crap like that. My computer sucks.

Nyarlathotep's picture
This question/answer is

This question/answer is incorrect:

The test - #16:

[question]True or false: Astronauts are weightless when they orbit Earth.

[answer given as "false"]Surprisingly, at 250 miles above Earth, gravity is only reduced by 10 percent. When astronauts appear to float in orbit, they're actually falling, but due to the speed they're traveling (and the laws of physics!) they seem to be weightless.

It is hair splitting, but gravity ≠ weight.
/e rawr, I only got 29

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
I was also marked wrong on

I was also marked wrong on that question.

Rohan M.'s picture
I was marked correct.

I was marked correct. Technically you do weigh at least something when orbiting a planet or star, albeit only as much as a feather due to the weakened gravity at around 40 kilometers above Earth’s surface (which is where the ISS orbits). If you were in deep deep space outside a galaxy, only then will you be truly weightless. In fact, you’d start self-gravitating, but fortunately only slightly- and in addition, if you were out there with your friend, then you’d both slowly start accelerating towards each other.

Nyarlathotep's picture
It is a confusing mess, made

It is a confusing mess, made harder by the popular press. Weight is generally defined as the normal force, and there is no normal force when you are in free fall with your surroundings, so there is 0 weight during freefall. That is the queasy feeling people get when they are falling; its the sudden disappearance of the normal force.

On a side note: the force of gravity (from the presence of the Earth, towards the Earth) at the ISS is only ~10% less than when you are standing on the surface of the planet. So if you had a mass of 100kg, and there was a normal force, you'd have a weight of about 900 N on the ISS, instead of about 1000 N on Earth. This seems to contradict observation.

arakish's picture
I saw facebook in the link.

I saw facebook in the link. I do not do facebook. Thus, my score is 0/35.

And to borrow Tin-Man's euphemism, I am so woke that 5 bottles of Ketamine would not slow me down.


SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
You don't need a Facebook

You don't need a Facebook profile to take the quiz...

arakish's picture
You missed the point. I DO

You missed the point. I DO NOT DO FACEBOOK. No way, regardless of whether I need a profile or not. I SHALL NEVER DO FACEBOOK.


Cognostic's picture
LOL - I have an aversion to

LOL - I have an aversion to it as well. Mindless bullshit - "Apologies to those of you who have FB accounts. " I have skype and when my friends want to talk to me they call. I have that thing on my I phone as well. I -chat or something like that. I have not used it but I can call people all over the world apparently. My phone is for my convenience and not for the convenience of others.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture


SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
Good to know. I'll add that

Good to know. I'll add that declaration into my encyclopedia of useful facts.

Rohan M.'s picture
One of the things that angers

One of the things that angers me the most about Facebook is that so many people try to farm likes by posting things like, “Je-AY-sus is fighting Say-tan! Pls LIEK if you love him and want him to win, and ignore if you hate God and worship Say-tan!”, and the fact that FB is doing nothing about this dishonest practice.

Rohan M.'s picture
Same. I have an FB account,

Same. I have an FB account, but I only post on it like, once or twice a year. I mostly use something that isn’t as public about your personal information, like Reddit.

Cognostic's picture
Krebs Cycle: I had to go

Krebs Cycle: I had to go look it up - so far we are off to a good start - I learned about the Citric Acid Cycle and how it releases energy. I have no idea if I will ever use the information but I could probably construct a Baghdad battery and actually understand why it is working now.

DAMN = Kiss my ass goodbye if I'm ever in my home during a tornado. I lived in Kansas and we always cracked the windows to equalize the air pressure.

I didn't miss any of the others but then I like taking these sorts of tests online. I did click "North Star" and wanted to change it to Sirius but it would not allow me. It was a guess.

I have heard a lot of the questions before.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
I hear you. I knew of the

I hear you. I knew of the Window thing because in when I lived in FL, we had to be mindful of that during Hurricane season. In astronomy I was taught about the starts but still clicked on the north star *face-palm*

Side note: I read somewhere that Baghdad batteries were actually just storage units for scrolls. Don't know that for sure though.

Rohan M.'s picture
Oh, yeah... cellular

Oh, yeah... cellular respiration. I was just studying that in Biology class!

C6H12O6 + 6(O2) = 6(NADH enzyme) + 2(FADH coenzyme) + 6(CO2) + 6(H2O) + 40(ATP molecule) - 2(ATP molecules needed for glycolysis)

... Apart from the dehydrogenases, ATP, and the lack of need for light energy, it’s basically the inverse of photosynthesis, which is:

Light energy + 6(CO2) + 6(H2O) = C6H12O6 + 6(O2) + Chemical energy (in the bonds of the new molecules, especially the glucose)

Bad Santa's picture
I'm so woke that when I get

I'm so woke that when I get up at night and step outside into the endless North Pole expanse I can pee in the snow the whole sentence, including the exclamation marks.

"Jesus, it is your turn now! Make the sentence longer!"

So far, he never took the challenge.

Grinseed's picture
I wouldn't be all that


I wouldn't be all that surprised he doesn't join in. Are you allowing him to use his own dick?

Bad Santa's picture
Of course, but no guiding


Of course, but no guiding hand from any virgin...
This is a manly thing, you know...

Diotrephes's picture
Bad Santa,

Bad Santa,

According to the Babylonian Talmud when a guy holds his penis when urinating it is as if he is flooding the whole world. Maybe that is where Noah's flood came from?

Babylonian Talmud: Tractate Niddah
Folio 13a
"[Reverting to] the main text: 'R. Eliezer said, Whoever holds his membrum when he makes water is as though he had brought a flood on the world'. But, they said to R. Eliezer, would not the spray bespatter his feet and he would appear to be maimed in his privy parts so that he25 would be the cause of casting upon his children the reflection of being illegitimate? "

Jesus wrote in the dirt with his hand but could he write in the snow when urinating if he didn't hold his penis as a pen?

Rohan M.'s picture
“My cancer was cured entirely

“My cancer was cured entirely by prayers, and I didn’t even need any therapy or surgery”, said no cancer survivor ever.

Rohan M.'s picture
Because imaginary beings don

Because imaginary beings don’t work that way... lol nice.

Here’s a list of some more satirical prayers: https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Fun:God%27s_Suggestion_Box

I even wrote some of them myself.

Rohan M.'s picture
Well, the opposite to “woke”

Well, the opposite to “woke” is “broflake”- that is, a straight, cisgender, white, conservative, and (usually) Christian man who is easily offended by shit that’s not about him and takes everything personally, even if it’s not about him specifically. Examples of broflakes include:

~ Bill O’Reilly
~ Roosh V
~ Glenn Beck
~ Ben Shapiro
~ Fox News
~ Breitbart.com
~ MGTOW (please don’t ask)
~ Alex Jones
~ Frank Turek
~ Devon Tracey, aka Atheism-is-unstoppable
~ Andrew Schlafly
~ Freedom From Atheism Foundation
~ American Family Association

Given the above, I’m DEFINITELY woke.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
Lmao @broflake

Lmao @broflake

Algebe's picture
I got 30. It just seemed like

I got 30. It just seemed like a general knowledge quiz. I think the state of the floor should be considered when deciding whether or not to eat dropped food. I've visited houses where you want to wipe your feet when you leave.

A good question about enlightment would be "Who gets to choose the next Dalai Lama?
A. Richard Gere B. The Panchen Lama C. Xi Jinping D. The ordinary people of Tibet

Meepwned's picture


Bullshit quiz. I'm not that smart!

I'm that educated.

DancingFool's picture
Only 27 out of 35, or 28 if

Only 27 out of 35, or 28 if Nyar is correct about gravity. Some of the ones I got wrong seemed like trick questions, worded in a way that even if you knew the correct answer you were led to the wrong one.

Rohan M.'s picture
I got 27/35.

I got 27/35.


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