I'm weary...

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CyberLN's picture
I'm weary...

Maybe I'll have more energy later, but right now I'm just so weary. Weary from being told I have no morals. Weary from hearing I will go to a place called hell when I'm dead. Weary from listening to the fundamentals of science being mangled. Weary from hearing religious righteousness. Weary from watching news of murders in the name of some god. Weary from the vigilance I need to exercise to keep religion out of my government and off of my body. Weary from having to ask for real data when an assertion about some god is made. Weary from being inundated by religious rhetoric. Weary from seeing people go hungry, homeless, and uneducated while preachers get rich. Weary from having to work harder to afford property taxes when religious, property-owning institutions do not. Weary from being treated like a pariah for not sharing someone's god. Weary from being polite when someone says they will pray for me. Weary from seeing religion everywhere when the non-religious are treated as though they are evil. Weary from knowing that if I spent a week walking around in a shirt praising jesus I would get high fives but be mocked if I did the same in a shirt announcing I am atheist. Weary from reading Facebook and tumbler posts saying atheists should be killed. Weary from knowing that some people who think I am a decent sort would change their mind based on my atheism instead of my behavior. Weary from not feeling free to announce my atheism in my place of work and not be targeted, unlike those who feel free to announce their religious beliefs. Weary from hearing that atheism is an 'easy way out' when it is consuming so much of my energy. The list goes on...

(Obviously have an earworm of Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles singing "I'm Tired"...and perhaps you do now too :-) )

So I think I'll go to bed early tonight, read a good book, drift off to sleep, and pick it all back up tomorrow.

But why do I pick it back up? Why do so many of us pick it back up?

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Michael J. Vecore's picture
For me, I pick it back up

For me, I pick it back up because being myself is better than pretending to get along and go along.

watchman's picture
"Why do so many of us pick it

"Why do so many of us pick it back up?"

Because it needs to be done.....
It has to be done....
It must be done....

and we are the ones who can do it.....
and so....

We do it.

Ellie Harris's picture
"I can't go on, I can't go on

"I can't go on, I can't go on, I must go on."

Its just not in me to not keep pushing that boulder up the hill.

ThePragmatic's picture
It is unthinkable to leave it

It is unthinkable to leave it to the delutional hoards to build the future for our children.

ImFree's picture
We pick it back up because we

We pick it back up because we refuse to live a lie.

DesolateProphet's picture
I feel the same way at times.

I feel the same way at times. I call it Raging Against the Machine. I write the papers and sometimes get published. I write congress, which feels completely useless. I try, but it seems futile. I put it aside as if to give up and try to put peace back in my mind. Then some stupid news article somewhere forces me to say something. I cannot be silent and it starts again.

At times I feel that if I was zealous when I was in darkness, I must be as zealous now that I see in the light of reason and truth. Sort of a reverse road to Damascus conversion. I'm certainly not the best or most vocal, but I try where I can.

And I loved the Blazing Saddles reference.

Spidey302's picture
After reading this I signed

After reading this I signed up immediately. It’s as if I wrote it from my heart. I’ve been in hiding for forty years. Wish I could come out. Maybe someday soon.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
We have to CyberLn. We are

We have to CyberLn. We are true to ourselves not some tribal fantasy. Im lucky I live where I do even though it is a very conservative state, as a rule Australians tend to be very much "yeh mate, whatever floats your boat" even though our federal government is hell bent (no pun) on dragging us into some 19th century theological nightmare landscape.

A bottle of red in the evening, some exercise ( or lovemaking) in the morning and we end up good to go...fighting the honest fight once more.

algebe's picture
CyberLN:

CyberLN:

Year by year, generation by generation, country by country, the darkness of religion is slowly but surely being pushed back, allowing the light of reason and humanism to shine through. The bestial crimes and horrors of religion are being exposed and put on trial. Religious organizations are masters of propaganda, and they are putting on a brave face with the help of their friends in high places, but they are losing their power. And we are all doing our part to make that happen, especially you.

"If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars;
It may be, in yon smoke concealed,
Your comrades chase e'en now the fliers,
And, but for you, possess the field."

Grinseed's picture
I have been reading stories

I have been reading stories here on AR forums about the oppression, discrimination, and threat to life that the religous use against our member atheists from around the world. Like RANJEET, ATHEIST AZAN just to name two , who face death for their atheism (forgive me if I missed anyone, just trying to keep this short)... like Sana who lives with daily oppression within her own home...like Mystic Crusader, living in the land of the brave and home of the free, but harshly persecuted for being rational...those like JohnJoestar who has to struggle alone with his isolation in a catholic country...like Qu@si who I think makes light of his atheist stance in the Phillipines - my partner is a Filipino, she despises the church...All of you have my greatest admiration.
Like Old Man I am free to declare my atheism aloud and in public in Australia. There is no reaction. I might attract the attention of evangelical types but they avoid me after exposing their bible ignorance. The best thing I can say about being an Australian atheist is that it is mostly boring. Generally people don't want to talk religion, atheism, science or philosophy...they want to talk sport or Survivor.
I know I would not be as brazen in my atheism if I lived in another country. Certainly not in Malaysia or Egypt, not even in the US, in those bible belt towns I sometimes have disturbing dreams about. If there were more at stake concerning my atheism I am sure I would be as quiet as a mouse.
All of you who stand up for atheism and rationality, in the face of personal condemnation, and even danger, or even extreme weariness, you are all heroes to me. Keep strong. Keep being who you are. Keep telling them there are no gods.

Rory Tennes's picture
Grinseed

Grinseed
I agree with you, the stories about those who live in real fear for their life. I live in the buybull belt in the US where we can get yelled at, scorned, fired and generally looked down on if we make it known we don't have an imaginary friend in the sky but no real life threats. Maybe in a few rare cases. I've heard of teenagers getting kicked out of the house which could potentially be life threatening if they had to live on the street.
The tide is changing here though. With continued pressure we may soon be in the majority here and who knows, maybe in all the world as well! We cannot give up because of some discrimination, we must keep talking and living by example. I'm going to the American Atheist National Convention this year in Oklahoma City. It is on Easter weekend in Oklahoma, also in the buybull belt so I'm sure there will be a lot of upset Christians there. We do not expect any real danger but you never know, there could always be that one religious nutcase out there who wants to save the world from us evil people.
I'm committed to continue to speak up and t defend and support others who are discriminated against for be rational.That's my contribution along with supporting a couple organisations like this one.
Have a great weekend in the Land Down Under !
Rory

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Grinseed

@ Grinseed

The 10.000 likes and approvals button is yours.

Grinseed's picture
Thanks Old Man. It sure is

Thanks Old Man. It sure is the Lucky Country in many ways, eh? Even if the OP is three years old, as Alembe has pointed out below, the world has become an even harder place to be free. I am happy to read of the people who succeed in their struggles and its only on forums like this I get any such good news. Thanks to CyberLN for overcoming her weariness and her work moderating this joint of pagans and misfits.

Alembé's picture
CyberLN originally wrote this

CyberLN originally wrote this post over 3 years ago in January 2015. At that time, President Obama was half way through his second 4 year term. Consider that since then, Britain voted for Brexit and leaving the European Union and here in the US, DJ Trump was elected by the Electoral College, but not the popular vote, to be President.

Because of his election, I believe that the US has seen great leaps backward in the expression of tolerance for anything that is not white, christian and male dominated.

More than ever there is a need for the support of basic Humanistic principles that many of you who frequent this space also share.

Edited to say: "second" 4 year term

CyberLN's picture
I did write this years ago.

I did write this years ago. I still get weary occasionally, but the list of that which causes the weariness changes from time to time. Despite that weariness, I’m still here, because it is so very worth it.

Ever so glad you joined because of my ramblings, Spidey.

chimp3's picture
I work for a church based

I work for a church based health care institution. Everyone I know locally is a christian. There is no religious diversity here. No ashrams, synagogues, mosques. I don't feign religiosity but I do not advertise my atheism. Mainly because I do not want unwelcomed proselylitizing directed at me. The only other atheist I know was my ex-wife's divorce lawyer and I am still butt hurt by his expertise. This forum and one other is my oasis of sanity.

Rory Tennes's picture
Yeah divorce sucks in the US

Yeah divorce sucks in the US if you are a male. That's another thing that could use some updating, the family court system . Gender discrimination is openly practised here and even bragged about. You won't see the lawyers doing anything about it though because those snakes profit from it. More and more I dislike lawyers. I have even had them admit that they do not represent clients as well as they could in order to keep from causing any hard feelings with any of the court personnel they have to work with in the future. That is low bottom if you ask me way low bottom behavior. But then lawyers are not known for personal or professional integrity, just like many christians are not.

CyberLN's picture
Do you have study data to

Do you have study data to back any of this up?

Am hoping you’ve not based these assertions on just personal experience since every piece of anecdotal ‘evidence’ you offer, I can offer one that is the opposite.

LogicFTW's picture
Things I am weary about:

Things I am weary about:

- being polite when family members or people who do not know me well say "I will pray for you." Or, "god bless you." Fortunately does not happen too often anymore, as I do not share my problems or issues with the ones I identify that will say that.
- seeing and/or hearing about my lgbtq friends and family members getting discriminated against and worse, due to ancient bronze age ramblings.
- friends and family getting harassed and/or denied easy access to a basic self human medical right to have an abortion if they need one, due to ancient bronze age ramblings.
- seeing a few family and friends not take action or responsibility for themselves because they hand their fate over to their "god."

Fortunately for me, most everyone other than close friends and my immediate family, religion never comes up. For my closest friends and immediate family, none of them could be described as theist and we have sensible discussion when it does come up. It is easy to avoid everyone else on religious topics, but perhaps that is because I live in a large liberal/progressive city.

.

What is up with zombified threads on this board in general? Do people do google searches, see a thread that resonates with them and respond to it even if it is ~3 years old?

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