Is It Just Me?

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thelargerbowl's picture
Is It Just Me?

I have noticed some strange things that christians that I have known or been around have in common. First of course is their shared belief in the cloud guy and his son, that is a given! Next is the belief in conspiracy theories, and some of them are way out there to me! We did not land on the moon? The illuminati and the all seeing eye is evil and out to get us? Concentration camps are being built in northern Michigan? Aliens are one with god? This one comes from the show Ancient Aliens I would think!

I was once at an outdoor get together with a girlfriend at the time who was a christian. I did not know it would be all church people there. After we were done eating, they all picked up the leftover food and threw it out on the lawn and said, god wants us to feed his animals, do not waste food! Well.... I could have taken it home like most sane people do.

Lastly it is all about jesus with them. They talk about him, more than god. jesus died for us. jesus suffered. jesus answers your prayers. Put your trust in jesus. jesus is coming back. jesus loves us all. Pray to jesus and ask for forgiveness every second of the god damn day! jesus fucking christ....

Maybe none of this is a startling revelation to some here, but I have not been exposed to any other religions personally, just the christian one and they seem to be on another dimension when I am around them. Everything is jesus and god and feeding the fucking animals. Oh and don't forget the conspiracy theories and the alliance that god has with the aliens.

Is this just me? Or has anyone else experienced anything like this, or noticed any similarities being around people of a particular religion?

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Cognostic's picture
It's not just you and it

It's not just you and it really depends on the Jesus sect nearest you.

Nyarlathotep's picture
thelargerbowl - Oh and don't

thelargerbowl - Oh and don't forget the conspiracy theories and the alliance that god has with the aliens.

If you see them all lined up at a punch bowl, don't drink from it.

Tin-Man's picture
@Nyar Re: "If you see them

@Nyar Re: "If you see them all lined up at a punch bowl, don't drink from it."

But, but, but.... It's delicious! Orange sherbert in ginger ale. My favorite! Besides, I only had a couple of cups. What harm could it possibly d-...... *distracted by movement outside window*.... Heeeey! Why does the Earth look so damn flat all of a sudden?....

Tin-Man's picture
@TLB

@TLB

...*crazed look in eyes*... Hey, look, brother, you just need to have faith! The more you feed the animals, the closer you can be to your Mighty Father, Son, and Holy Spirit trio. Jesus loves you, man. And he wants you to have all the bread and fish you can eat and share with the animals. (Just don't share the fish with the fish. That would be wrong.) And if you pray hard enough and long enough then all your prayers will be answered one way or the other as long as you have plenty of patience, because the request lines to God are obviously very busy. Some prayers have even been on back-order for several centuries. No worries, though, because Big Daddy, J. C., and The Spook are eternal, and they promise to get to you as soon as possible. They love you, man. You just have to feel it in your heart. God is good, dude. Can you dig it?

Rohan M.'s picture
*Sees lunch bowl on the

*Sees lunch bowl on the counter* Oh yes, punch... My weakness. *Takes a sip* Mmmm, tastes good... Wait a minute... That’s strange; All of a sudden I’m religious again... and why does the world look flat? Why do I keep hearing the X-Files theme song whenever I look at a triangle? Why do I now get riled up whenever I hear the utterance of the word “feminism”? Why am I now a creationist? Hmmm... oh... OH NOES! I JUST DRANK FROM THE KOOLAID BOWL OF BATSHIT INSANE CONSPIRACY WOO!!!! Well, there goes my brai- *Brain shorts out and reboots, and I start speaking in a redneck accent* Y’all need Jee-ay-sus! Teh feminazis be destroyin’ teh Y-chromosome; I suggest that you become an Alpha and take teh Red Pill, lest dem hi-PER-gah-mUS waymen catch up. And remember- beware of dem black helicopters; teh NWO be comin’ Very, Very Soon. Don’t let dem librul cucks take away your largely defensive weapons of gun, and don’t let dem homos destroy teh sang-SIS-ity of marriage. Heil Trumptler!

thelargerbowl's picture
That made me laugh out loud!

That made me laugh out loud! Then I realized that even after a good laugh, the reality is that they actually are just as you described!

And as far as feeding rodents for god sake! I have had many various types of rodents get into my attic for the last six years as there are many seniors where I live and they put food out for the wild animals to eat. I have spent hundreds of dollars on pest control, but they always came back into my attic. However... Ever since I hung a pentagram on my front porch to piss off the neighbors who think I am a satan worshiper, the rodents quite coming in! Coincidence you say?
I think Not!....
Ah Ha Ha! Am I Evil, Yes I am! The animals even run from my evilness!

Rohan M.'s picture
@thelargerbowl No wonder your

@thelargerbowl No wonder your profile pic is a pentagram! Also, take a look at mine; ask almost any Christian, and they will say that it is 100% reflective of reality. :)

David Killens's picture
Rohan, thelargerbowl's

Rohan, thelargerbowl's profile pic is from a music album. From one of the greatest rock bands of all time, on one of their greatest albums.

I own a few high end T-shirts, and one of them has that very symbol emblazoned on the back, while on the front is ...

RUSH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WlK8syJrx8

p.s. I also have one T-shirt with "Gabba Gabba Hey" on the back.

Rohan M.'s picture
No wonder so many fundies

No wonder so many fundies think rock is satanic. XD

Sapporo's picture
You get Christian priests who

You get Christian priests who don't even believe in the divinity of Jesus, so Christians in general probably cover a broad spectrum of beliefs.

Meepwned's picture
Indeed, Christianity

Indeed, Christianity encapsulates a wide variety of beliefs. Unfortunately, their religion encourages them to not use critical thinking. A lack of critical thinking skills allows all kinds of other woo to get mixed in, like anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theories, ancient aliens, and basically any other woo you can imagine. I've met Christians that have rejected some of what I view as the core of Christianity. I refer to them as Christian, so that I avoid committing the no true Scotsman fallacy.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Meepwned Indeed. I am a

@Meepwned Indeed. I am a skeptic, but the woo that I most frequently go after is religion, and what you just said is one of the reasons why.

And adding on to what you said about conspiracy theories: many of the most devout Buybull-believers have a persecution complex so immense, that they are convinced that we atheists (among many other assorted liberal bogeymen, which include a few like “Homosexual Agenda” and “Satanic Witches” that they invented) all mastermind a super-colossal global conspiracy against them and Christianity as a whole that encompasses everything from the ancient Roman persecution of Christians to the FFRF’s latest bumper-sticker (!). No really, I’m serious- just look at the Facebook page of FFRF’s evil twin.

Oten's picture
Mate, you haven't seen

Mate, you should see Christians doing "grave sucking" and "walk through walls".

Sources:
* https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/04/20/students-at-christian-hog...
* https://www.gotquestions.org/grave-sucking.html

LogicFTW's picture
@thelargerbowl

@thelargerbowl

After we were done eating, they all picked up the leftover food and threw it out on the lawn and said, god wants us to feed his animals, do not waste food!

You mentioned outdoors and lawn. If I had to guess this was some public park. Most all public parks already have a large problem with an abundance of "pest" animal build up around parks from careless people discarding food on the ground or overflowing trash bins. Parks with "lawns" are usually kept clear of underbrush and other places these pest animals can make a home, so instead these animals will make their "homes" in nearby people's property, become a pest problem for them.

These birds, rodents, and even raccoons can cause a lot of expensive damage. Lots of people like to purchase homes next to parks, (hey it beats looking at a street and another house right?) But living next to a public park actually has quite a few drawbacks, like whacky religious groups that just "toss" their food on to the lawn exacerbating an already large problem. Best case scenario a tax paid city worker cleaned up their mess later that day.

It does seem religious people are particularly bad about thinking they are always right. Even worse is "god wants us to feed the animals" but at the same time "god" is just fine with the wholesale slaughter and overall gigantic reduction to all life on this planet done by humans. Only a hypothetical made up idea by humans would ever be logically "okay" with what humans do to "it's" creation.

 
 

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Rohan M.'s picture
Okay: 2 eerie similarities in

Okay: 2 eerie similarities in between the followers of the two religions that I most commonly criticize- Christianity and Islam:

Christians- A lot, and I mean, A LOT of Christians often have these delusions of grandeur after making an exploded, ridiculous argument, in which they assert that their arguments are making us atheists outraged at their oh-so-cleverness, and then seriously wonder why we’re all either laughing or facepalming. A typical Christian apologist argument reads out something like this:

”I know that it angers beyond comprehension, but something can’t come from nothing, so therefore, GOD!!!!!!!! I probably caused you retarded, immoral atheitards (or some other unimaginative insult) to become triggered and butthurt, as all of this comment’s downvotes/dislikes will tell you. Therefore, I must be right! I’m so clever! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!”

Muslims: Whenever their beloved, oh-so-peaceful religion is criticized, (moderate) Muslims often resort to baseless, childlike ad-hominem attacks and/or Lying For Allah, and the most astonishing aspect of it all is that virtually all of these ad-homs sound something like this:

“Grow a brain before talking about Islam, you mental retard. Islam is the religion of (sic) peace and (sic) tolerance. That Koran verse is out of context!!!”

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