About 4 months ago I started talking to the girl of my dreams. I seriously want to marry this girl. She is a perfect human being and I love everything about her except for one thing. Obviously I'm an atheist, but she is not. In fact, about a year ago she got out of a relationship with her boyfriend of 4 years because he cheated, and she thinks "God" helped her get through it so she's been trying to get closer with him.
She started going to church and surrounded herself with a bunch of christians as she started her college experience and this semester she joined this christian group, and has even become one of the leaders of it, at her school and she does everything with them. As opposed as I am to religion, I really don't care that she's doing this. It makes her happy. But, because she is trying to get more into her religion, she is really struggling with the fact that I'm not a believer. The ONLY problems we've had so far have stemmed from her worrying about that. Everyone's telling her she needs to be in a "Christ based" relationship. I probably would have given up hope knowing this in the beginning if it weren't for her and her family's spirituality and my girlfriends loosey goosey interpretations of scripture. She isn't homophobic at all, and she doesn't think I'm damned to hell. She believes in reincarnation, as told me she thinks "all religions are a little bit true", and she thinks that only people who are really really bad, like mass murderers, are going to hell.
I doubt I could marry someone who views religion in exactly the same light as I do because I am the only person in my entire family, and one of very very few in my social circle that don't believe in god. My family, especially my parents, absolutely HATE that I'm an atheist and I'm sure would never accept an atheist girl. My best hope is for a super chill religious or agnostic girl, and she acts like that's what she was before her bad breakup. She isn't sure what she believes right now, and is trying to go down this super religious road. But she used to be way more spiritual than religious, and that's how her whole family is. Her friends that she's had before she started hanging out with these crazy christians are telling her this isn't who she is and she's not being herself if she tries to become this person. Her mother (and I think her grandmother) have told her the same thing. Her grandmother even sent her a long poem about the difference between spirituality and religion that basically eloquently shitted on religion and uplifted spirituality that my girlfriend forwarded to me and said I'd like it. When I asked her "is this how you feel?" she said she didn't know. She even told me that in high school she told her boyfriend she thinks she may be a buddhist (even though she hasn't studied the tenants of buddhism).
Her church is making her feel guilty for having this spiritual side too. I doubt that I could make her an atheist (at least right now, because that obviously takes time), and don't actually want to change her, but if she gets deeper into this super religious side it's going to break us. I really really really don't want this to happen. I'm open minded about her spiritual side and even find that kind of exciting, but I think religion is evil and will almost certainly ever even entertain the thought of being a christian again, especially knowing what I know now after studying my way into atheism. Anybody have any advice as to how I could encourage her to get back onto the spiritual road, or maybe even the road that I'm on without scaring her off? Just anything that will allow her to stop worrying about my atheism. We've discussed religion before and she said she hates talking about it with me because its stressful to her even though neither one of us expresses any sort of hostility just because she's supposed to be able to connect with the person she's dating on this. I need advice immediately.
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