Poem/song i wrote

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Rebasack's picture
Poem/song i wrote

I was raised in a christian house. my dad is a biblical scholar and was damn determined that all his kids would be good little christians.
by the time i was in my teens i hated going to church, hated how fake it seemed. it didnt really dawn on me until my 20s that a large part of it was people would act one way at church then outside act like nothing taught in church was real. i hate how two faced people are...
I actually started writing this poem/song in a dream... i welcome suggestions additions and edits to this as i dont feel it is a finished product yet.
but here it is

There is no god, no god
No god in heaven to watch over us
No god to heal our wounds or fix this broken world we live in. It's up to you and me to fix the problems we live with.

Look around, this system sucks, so many people can't afford to live. Pain and hunger in america, yet also overseas. There is food enough to go around but the people at the top are just to damn greedy. They would rather let food rot in the fields than give to those that need it.

There is no god, no god.
No god in heaven to watch over us
No god to feed and love us no god to give a shit we exist.
If you want others to feel loved than you're the one who needs to give it.

So many people you see on the streets
Holding up signs hoping to get just enough to eat.
Most people choose not to see them
Say they should have to work for what they're given.
Yet nobody will give them jobs cause jobs are fast disappearing.
Others say oh they will just waste it on drugs or booze.
So what? Don't they deserve a break to?
Give food give water and they will all be greatful
But most people don't care, they make excuses and walk right on by.

There is no god, no god above us
No Satan below us. Sin was created to control us
And it will keep doing so if we let it.
There is no god to fix the mess this world is in
We need to stand together if everyone is to have a chance at living

There are no miracles to be seen
Yet medicine can save millions
Vaccines keep most children healthy and alive
Once to make the next generation dozens of kids had to
Be born. Now few kids die, and three is the norm
Yet there are places this is not the case
Kids in other countries regularly die
Infection and famine are the primary cause.
These kids look like skeletons they pray for food
Yet no food comes, we have the power to feed them
And we don't.

There is no god can't you see?
It was made up to control you and me
Way back before science they created gods to answer
Questions, all questions the answer was a god
We've come so far yet people can't seem to shake
The oldest lie humans have ever made

They scream at me, Respect my beliefs!
I say they don't deserve respect.
Your beliefs, almost all deity based beliefs
Have caused wars, made women into slaved
Killed millions. And bit is still happening today.

We need to open our minds and learn to think for ourselves
We need to teach kids to think for themselves
We need to get into the government system wherever we live
And start to change things before it is to late.
Think about it.

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chimp3's picture
If it has a tune download it

If it has a tune download it somewhere and link it here.

Rebasack's picture
I dont know how to write

I dont know how to write music, but sometimes it has bits of music in my head.
if you or anyone else has suggestions or wants to make it into a song i am fine with that.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Rebasack IMO this sounds

@Rebasack IMO this sounds like you could make it into a rap or something, because that's what it sounded like in my head when I read it.

ImFree's picture
Rebasack : “by the time i was

Rebasack : “by the time i was in my teens i hated going to church, hated how fake it seemed. it didnt really dawn on me until my 20s that a large part of it was people would act one way at church then outside act like nothing taught in church was real.”

This statement brought back so many memories when I was growing up. I attended a private christian school. When I was in elementary, the male chorus teacher impregnated a girl in her early teens. Also, there were several marital affairs that took place (kids talk) through the years.

Cognostic's picture
I don't recognize any meter

I don't recognize any meter or anything melodic or rhyming. I can't even imagine this being put to music. Is it supposed to be like a Broadway musical?

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
Not all poems rhyme. I do

Not all poems rhyme. I do agree with Cog in the sense that there is no real structure to your poem. You might want to try organizing your thoughts a little differently and give it some tweaks.

Rohan M.'s picture
Yeah. This seems like it's

Yeah. This seems like it's what's called a "blank verse"... I learned about them in English class... a poem that does not rhyme or have any specific format, but could still be made into a song if you wanted to.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
I see this as something to

I see this as something to recite as a spoken word at a poetry slam. That's the format I'm reading it in. Is that what you are going for?

arakish's picture
Here is the one I wrote for

Here is the one I wrote for me wife on our tenth wedding anniversary. This one is written in Free Prose.

When I say, “I Love You

I say the words “I Love You” so much
that I wonder sometimes
if you take for granted
the feelings that are behind them.

I never want you to see them as just words
to begin or end a conversation.

“I Love You” is just my way
of saying that you have touched
a place in my heart
and made me come alive.

You have claimed a part of my heart that,
no matter what happens to us,
will always belong to you.

You taught me how to love,
you broke through all my defenses,
and you comforted my fears.

You touched places in me
I never knew I had
and made me feel things
I never thought I’d feel.

You have all of the patience, care,
understanding, and concern needed
to build the kind of relationship we have,
and to build the kind of relationship
we shall forever have.

So when I say “I Love You,”
the words are not spoken out of habit.

It is my way of saying
thank you for being you
and for returning
some of the joy
you have given me.

And I still cry every time I read it.

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
@Arakish Nice song!

@Arakish Nice song!

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