Whats the stupidest claim you have seen from religious flock?

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Hitch's picture
Whats the stupidest claim you have seen from religious flock?

Now, every religion has bullshit ideas and claims but Islam never fails to amaze me.
When you ask a muslim, "Why god created me?" he replies, "Life is a test". This is also true for many if not all religions.

But..... What if i didn't want to be tested. Why is god testing us?......

Quran gives this answer!

It was not god who wanted to test you, you opted for it yourself. See the following verse in quran

"Indeed, we offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they declined to bear it and feared it; but man [undertook to] bear it. Indeed, he was unjust and ignorant." Ch 33:72

It says further,

"And [mention] when your Lord took from the children of Adam - from their loins - their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], "Am I not your Lord?" They said, "Yes, we have testified." [This] - lest you should say on the day of Resurrection, "Indeed, we were of this unaware." Ch 7:172

So, basically, god created us and wanted to test us. Then he asked us if we wanted to be tested. Surprisingly, we all said yes. Then he erased that memory and sent us to the earth (with free will) to be tested.

Thats the most bullshit argument I have ever seen.
Whats the most bullshit claim/idea you've heard from religious flock?

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Sapporo's picture
"Without God, I'd have no

"Without God, I'd have no reason to do good."

Rohan M.'s picture
@Sappiro Yep, exactly.

@Sappiro Yep, exactly. Basically saying that they need to be bribed and threatened into doing good... that says a lot about them, doesn't it?

Whenever a theist says something like that, they are basically implying that they don't have the maturity to do good without promise of moral dessert.

The Secular Samurai's picture
It's rather revealing in

It's rather revealing in regards their so-called "moral framework," isn't it?

Rohan M.'s picture
@The Secular Samurai Yep, it

@The Secular Samurai Yep, it sure is. They think they need to be bribed and threatened in order to do good things... says a lot...

Fallen's picture
Jehovah's Witnesses claim

Jehovah's Witnesses claim that only 144000 go to heaven. These are the only ones that partake of the bread and wine at the lords evening meal (the 'normal' jw's just pass the bread and wine around lol). These so called anointed know they are going to heaven, because the holy spirit testifies with them...whatever that means.

Our congregation would be buzzing with excitement when one of these special people were to visit...sad, I know.

The funny thing is they take the number literal, but the other features in Revelation that describe this group are taken figuratively, for example: being virgins, unblemished, from the tribes of Israel etc.

in the past they counted the number of partakers of the lords evening meal worldwide and report this number in their yearbook. Then when the number became lower and lower, they would claim 'the end is drawing near'. Then the number started to increase and they ended up making excuses, and eventually stopped reporting the figures. I'm not sure what the current 'truth' is on this belief/claim...

arakish's picture
Yep. Only a thousand gross

Yep. Only a thousand gross go to heaven. Seems a little kinky to me.

rmfr

Cognostic's picture
God Heals: I want to punch

God Heals: I want to punch assholes in the face when they start praying for the sick and injured. I really get pissed off at this one.

There was an asshole on the world series of Poker E.G. Harvin, an amateur player who made the final table, had an interview and started thanking God. Now God controls poker games. Sheeeeeesh.. Another fucking idiot.

There was a video on YouTube of a police officer who got shot in the neck and was bleeding out. A man came out of a house to help the officer. He helped the man who was shot in the neck and bleeding out by yelling at the sky, "God Help This Man!" Then he would look at the man and say help is coming, return to yelling at the sky. "Oh Lord help this man!" I guess this asshole never saw the studies on intercessory prayer OR took a fucking first aid class.

Fallen's picture
Regarding the so called

Regarding the so called healing, a while back I discovered a website totally devoted to: "Why does god not heal amputees?"

Good question...

Rohan M.'s picture
Yep.

Yep.

Kid: "Mommy, I got sunburned very badly, and now I have skin cancer."

Mom: "Oh, no, my Thoughts And Prayers™ are with you!"

Kid: "But Mommy, won't I need sur-"

Mom: "THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS"

*2 years later*
(In the meantime, as a result of parents doing nothing while still thinking they were actually helping, tumor has metastasized and only gotten worse no matter how hard his parents kept praying, and eventually killed the poor kid)
Mom: "Oh no, my baby... *cries*"

Dad: "Don't worry. You know why God didn't answer our prayers? Because he Needed An Extra Angel In Heaven™. Had he not needed one, he would have magically healed him. *notices a small tumor growing on his skin* Oh, shit. *bows head and folds hands* Dear God, please magically heal me and smite this accursed tumor..."

Diotrephes's picture
Fallen,

Fallen,

"Why does god not heal amputees?"

Do you have any ideas how many calories you have eaten during your lifetime to get your current body? So if you were to grow back your left leg from mid-thigh how many calories and how much water do you think it would take and how long to get fully restored? Or do you think it should be magic and done as soon as you lose a limb? Do you think it would be a painless process?

Do you think the process should be similar to the one people in the movies undergo when they change into werewolves and vampires and then back to normal appearing humans? https://tenor.com/search/werewolf-transformation-gifs

Hitch's picture
@Cognostic

@Cognostic
Agreed

And....also when a doctor treats a patient of say cancer, they're like "Thank god" but they don't blame god for when a patient dies from cancer, they just blame doctor. Or they say god works in mysterious ways. Fuckk man!

Hitch's picture
@Fallen

@Fallen

God must be very stupid to create billions of humans only to send 144000 from a small tribe from a desert to heaven.

Man how can they not see the irony!

Diotrephes's picture
Hitch,

Hitch,

"God must be very stupid to create billions of humans only to send 144000 from a small tribe from a desert to heaven."

The kicker is that according to the fairy tale it is only 12,000 from each of the twelve tribes of Israel. There are no women and children included. Why Gentiles think that they will get into the golden cube called New Jerusalem is a mystery to me.

Fallen's picture
I believed this for a long

@Hitch
I believed this for a long time, and I ask myself how was I so blind...mind control ftw

Rohan M.'s picture
@Fallen I've been there. To

@Fallen I've been there. To this day, I still find it hard to imagine that there was once a time when I believed that abortion = murder, atheists like my present-day self were all immoral, out to get me, and collectively responsible for all the world's problems (both real and fictional), and that many moons ago, I twice even attempted to proselytize to one of my friends (a Hindu) by passive-aggressively threatening him with punishment for "idolatry"- which was against one of my "commandments"... and then felt that he was "bragging about his beliefs" when he told me that he didn't care... well the important thing is that now I know that my friend's "idolatry" and my former "commandments" are both the same pile of horse-shit.

Fallen's picture
After I started losing faith

@Dio
After I started losing faith I attended a meeting where they talked about how impartial god was; it made me sick to my stomach...

Rohan M.'s picture
@Fallen Okay, forgive me if

@Fallen Okay, forgive me if this gets too verbose:

What you said reminds me a lot of how I felt after the seeds of doubt had been sewn and I later attended a sermon in which they described in detail the concept of Heaven and Hell, and how you could be good, donate tons of your hard-earned money to charity, be nice to everyone, but then still be tortured eternally just for not believing in a particular deity, andconversely you could be a "righteous" far-right, authoritarian, homophobic, transphobic, and/or misogynistic Bible-thumper but then still be "forgiven" and spend an eternity in absolute bliss when you die... And I thought, "Wait a minute... that can't be right. Surely they were wrong..." and then I decided to get this sorted out once and for all by reading the Buybull myself properly- that is, the way you're supposed to read a book (cover to cover)- and was disappointed to find that not only was the same concept of eternal damnation just for disbelieving repeated countless times in every single book (there isn't a single page in there that does not denounce and condemn a non-Christian), but then I also found too many flaws and holes to even count... but what really turned me into an atheist was Genesis (of course), the seemingly random and arbitrary (and often problematic) laws in Exodus, Romans, Leviticus (which frankly explains a lot about homophobia) and Deuteronomy, and even in the NT (which I had previously been assured was "nicer") I still saw many inconsistencies (esp. the fact that there are 5 different accounts of Yee-soos's life and death; they can't all be right), the same pointless rules from OT being reinforced, e.g. "sexual immorality" (again, explains a lot), Say-tan-izum (after doing extensive research online, I was shocked to find that this was an imaginary non-problem that Christianity and Islam invented), and the persecution complex and "Us-versus-Them" mentality that we all know all too well by now... and don't even get me started on the Revelation Prophecy Of Doom that will apparently come true Any Day Now.

Dan Morris's picture
The occasional prediction of

The occasional prediction of jesus' s second coming! How many of these have we had through the centuries!
A common theme throughout the new testament is that his followers thought he would come back in their lifetime. Jesus said it himself in matt. 24:34. So when he didn't, christians keep making adjustments to their "interpretation"
The book of revelation emphasises that he will come quickly! I mean, why be concerned about global warming cause Jesus is going to light things up when he comes back on his noble steed anyway!

Rohan M.'s picture
@Dan Morris"How many of these

@Dan Morris

"How many of these have we had through the centuries!"

Probably at least 158,465. Or maybe even that is a gross understatement.

arakish's picture
Dan Morris: "The occasional

Dan Morris: "The occasional prediction of jesus' s second coming! How many of these have we had through the centuries!"

I for one have seen at least 20 of them in my short time of about 60 years here on Earth. Now they are saying Heysoos will return within the next 40 years. If only I could live another 40 years and laugh in their face when he doesn't show.

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
@Arakish As far as I know, I

@Arakish As far as I know, I've survived at least four... one on 4/23/18, one in late 2018, one Nibiru-collision one on 1/1/19, and another on the American blood-moon on 1/20/19.

arakish's picture
Hitch: "Whats the stupidest

Hitch: "Whats the stupidest claim you have seen from religious flock?"

That God exists. Then no evidence to back the claim.

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
"Something can't come from

"Something can't come from nothing, so therefore, GODDIDIT!!!1!"

In other words, "Haha you're so stupid; something can't come from nothing by magic, so therefore my invisible friend must have made the universe out of nothing but magic."

AccretedMinutiae's picture
I was sitting in a sermon

I was sitting in a sermon once where the pastor's wife (who was the one speaking that day) told a story about how she was getting this push from God to "do more" outreach, or missions or some such. And her husband kept telling her they didn't have the money or resources to send her away for the amount of time she was talking. Well... God kept pushing her, and she kept getting reality checks until something "remarkable" happened! She decided that it was actually Satan who was the one urging her to leave her family and pursue these trips.

The moral of the story was supposed to be that sometimes "the enemy" is at work in things that look like the right thing to do, so be vigilant! The crowd rung out with "Amen!" and "Praise Jesus!", but I couldn't stop thinking that it was one of the most frightening displays of "dumb" I have ever been witness to.

Rohan M.'s picture
Blew my mind... I was

Blew my mind... I was expecting that her husband was being possessed by Say-Tan when he told her that they didn't have the money. After all, most of these types think money is evil and Say-Tan-Ick, and her husband was trying to stop her from following God's Plan™ by using it as an excuse.

Tin-Man's picture
@Accreted Re: "....but I

@Accreted Re: "....but I couldn't stop thinking that it was one of the most frightening displays of "dumb" I have ever been witness to."

Dumb???... Quite the contrary, my friend! That was absolute BRILLIANCE! Can't you see? Oh ye of little faith! That woman turned her disappointment into a happy win-win situation for EVERYBODY...

For her part, she did not have to face the reality of or take responsibility for her lack of making any true effort in raising the money for the oh-so-vital glory-be-to-god "missionary" trip she so desperately wanted to do. Nope! "I was wanting to do The Lord's work," she will say. "But all along it was that nasty ol' Satan who was whispering his deceitful lies into my ear trying to convince me to leave my family!" Then she continues, "Praise Jesus that God saw fit to keep me from having the money to follow Satan's evil plan! Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!" And as a bonus to her, she has elevated her status in her church to a whole new level. She is now the inspirational beacon of guiding light the flock can use as an example of strength and wisdom in their eternal fight against the Devil. Praise the Lord!

And as for the others, the kids and daddy get to keep Mommy at home. And all the other church members have a fantastic "witness" story to use to draw more lost sheep into their fold. At the very least they have another testimony "proving" how great and powerful their god-of-choice is, thereby confirming to them how fortunate they are to believe in His awesomeness. Thank you, Jesus!...

Hmmm.... Wonder how much fuller the collection plates were that Sunday?.... *scratching chin*.... Yep, probably not so dumb after all... *chuckle*....

Algebe's picture
Having a blood transfusion is

Having a blood transfusion is the same as drinking blood. And drinking blood is forbidden in a book written by goat-shagging lunatics 25 centuries ago, so it's better to let children die than allow them to have life-saving transfusions.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Algebe Lemme guess... a JW

@Algebe Lemme guess... a JW said this? Because they really don't like blood transfusions, even if their kid needs it... not to mention how they think college is evil...

Algebe's picture
@Rohan: a JW said this?

@Rohan: a JW said this?

Yep. They're the ones. Jehovah's Witless. Apart from the blood transfusion thing, they've also got a horrendous record for covering up sex abuse by church elders.

Rohan M.'s picture
And yet Christians are the

And yet Christians are the ones who are feeling all morally high-and-mighty over us ever since the whole woman-in-the-elevator thing (which I personally think was mostly an overreaction for various non-trite reasons).

Ah, it feels so good to be able to say such a thing about "Elevatorgate™" without- well, you-know-what destroying my reputation and labeling me an MRA for daring to contradict you-know-who (despite the fact that I have openly spoken out against such ideas online a lot, and even sometimes on this very forum)... I'm so glad I became an atheist just a couple of months after they had permabanned their way into oblivion...

Edited to add second paragraph jabbing at A+™.

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