Whats the stupidest claim you have seen from religious flock?

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Calilasseia's picture
The entire "Garden of Eden"

The entire "Garden of Eden" story is so manifestly stupid, and contains so many plot holes, that only ignorant, piss-stained pre-scientific nomads could have thought it was a good idea to include in their mythology, and even then, only after partaking of various hallucinogens. Because at bottom, the story consists of:

[1] Mr Invisible Magic Man conjures into existence two hapless stool pigeons, ensuring that they are bereft of both the capability for ethical knowledge, and the presence of that knowledge;

[2] Mr Invisible Magic Man then arranges for a supposedly "perfect" universe to be set up, in such a manner, that the moment any of the two hapless stool pigeons eat a certain piece of magic fruit, the whole set up will be buggered irreversibly from that point on;

[3] Mr Invisible Magic Man then tells the two hapless stool pigeons, not to eat the magic fruit;

[4] So, having set up the system, in such a manner that the two hapless stool pigeons can only genuinely know whether or not eating the magic fruit is wrong, by going ahead and eating it (and thus acquiring both the capacity for ethical thought and the requisite knowledge they were previously lacking);

[5] Then, along comes a magic snake which had the ability to talk (funny how talking animals tend to appear in a lot of hallucinogen visions, which is why this story starts to acquire the hallmarks of a mushroom bender), and tells the hapless stool pigeons that Mr Invisible Magic Man lied to them;

[6] Of course, being hapless stool pigeons, they have no way of knowing whether or not the magic talking snake is telling them the truth, is lying to them, or for that matter was actually sent there by Mr Invisible Magic Man in order to set off the whole Mouse Trap Game edifice;

[7] Eventually, the inevitable happens, and like toddlers let loose in a chocolate factory, they start helping themselves to the magic fruit;

[8] Then along comes Mr Invisible Magic Man, who says "Gotcha!", whereupon the entire universe is buggered up from that point on, and Mr Invisible Magic Man apportions blame not only to the hapless stool pigeons, but all of their descendants, who had nothing to do with any of this shenanigans because they hadn't been born yet;

[9] As a consequence of this shitheap of a story being cooked up by some piss-stained nomads after a mushroom party, and incorporated into their mythology, generations of humans since have had to suffer all sorts of misery, ranging from the multifarious consequences of the misogyny inherent in the tale, through various instances of people being pounded to death with rocks because they failed to conform to rules that were largely completely arbitrary, all the way to the modern malignancies we see blighting the human species emanating from this source.

And the supernaturalists who try and peddle the mythology in question, claim we are the ones who are arrogant, deluded and immoral, simply because this mythology and its farcical introduction triggers off the bullshit alarms of anyone with a decent number of functioning neurons?

Indeed, in any modern jurisdiction, the ethical incompetence of the two hapless stool pigeons, during the commission of the alleged "offence", would have immediately been used as a pretext for declaring a trial null and void, by any competent defence lawyer. Modern jurisdictions accept that persons with medically significant cognitive deficiencies are not responsible for their actions. A completely nonfunctioning ventromedial pre-frontal cortex, which is what these stool pigeons would have had to have, in order for this tale to be something other than an ex recto fabrication, certainly counts as a medically significant cognitive deficiency in any modern courtroom. Even a junior defence lawyer could have easily secured an acquittal on this basis. Even though the hapless stool pigeons would no longer be hapless stool pigeons after the event, they would surely have sufficient reliable memory of their pre-enlightened state, to be able to give a competently honest testimony on the matter.

Look, if anyone out there wants their mythology to be treated as fact, at least put some fucking effort into making said mythology something other than a textbook example of bad proofreading, bad character development and bad plot construction.

Diotrephes's picture
Calilasseia,

Calilasseia,

"The entire "Garden of Eden" story is so manifestly stupid, and contains so many plot holes, that only ignorant, piss-stained pre-scientific nomads could have thought it was a good idea to include in their mythology, and even then, only after partaking of various hallucinogens....

Look, if anyone out there wants their mythology to be treated as fact, at least put some fucking effort into making said mythology something other than a textbook example of bad proofreading, bad character development and bad plot construction."

The purpose of all of the biblical stories is to illustrate one or more of the Ten Commandments found in Exodus 34:11-28. The miracles are based on Exodus 34:10.

Because the stories are meant for illustrative purposes they don't have to be accurate or true. You could make up a story out of thin air to convince a kid not to ride on the top of a car that is speeding down the freeway. It wouldn't have to be perfect or based on any real events to get your point across.

The Adam and Eve story is used to illustrate the First Commandment about not worshiping any other God other than Jealous (Genesis 34:14). The main point of all of the stories is to teach complete obedience and total loyalty to the Boss. The Bible is like a military code of conduct for average people. It demands that people do what the Boss tells them to do without a second thought and to never betray him for someone else.

No matter what the biblical story is, either in the Old or New Testament, you can link it to one or more of the Ten Commandments but only if you know what the real Ten Commandments are. If you don't know what they are then none of the stories will make any sense to you. The stories are just mnemonic devices to get the reader (or listener) to think about which Commandment the story illustrates.

The Adam & Eve story is repeated in Isaiah chapter 51, Ezekiel chapters 28, 31, and 36 and Joel chapter 2.

In the Genesis story the Garden of Eden was just down the road from Assyria, Persia, Arabia, Ethiopia, and of course Egypt but Egypt isn't mentioned in the story. And of course all of those countries survived Noah's flood without even noticing the flood that drowned them.

Rohan M.'s picture
And not to mention that Mr.

And not to mention that Mr. Invisible Magic Man is the one who, for some odd reason, created the talking snake AND the fucking magical apple tree in the first place and then got all worked up after a display of scientific inquiry on the part of the stool-pigeons and then harshly punished Mrs. Stool-Pigeon and all future women for Mrs. Stool Pigeon's eating from it... that's like leaving a toddler alone in a room with a humongous pile of candy, telling him to not eat from it, and then getting pissed and beating up not only him but all toddlers you will ever meet for eating from a forbidden pile of candy that you practically gift-wrapped for that one toddler... I know, it sounds absurd; doesn't it?

Time Traveler 's picture
I know this is common, but

I know this is common, but when people think that praying will really help them. That somehow, the same god that allows such pain and suffering in the world will help them find that new job or give them spiritual guidance is just too mind numbing to understand. I think its one of the best examples of their twisted, backwards logic.

Diotrephes's picture
Time Traveler,

Time Traveler,

"I know this is common, but when people think that praying will really help them."

Pity the people who pray five times a day with their butts in the air.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Dio Yep; don't hate them but

@Dio Yep; don't hate them but pity them, for they have failed miserably at making the most of this one, short, precious life rather than grovelling to get into some imaginary one and living under stupid, pointless rules that make their only real life boring, sad, depressing, and unfulfilling.

Diotrephes's picture
Rohan M.,

Rohan M.,

I am really starting to hate all religions.

John Azad's picture
Muslims also believe that

Muslims also believe that their prophet went to paradise by time traveling,,,

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