I was a back-and forth agnostic, means.. 4 years ago i was an agnostic, then came back as moslem, then 2 years ago an agnostic again, then embraced christianity, and now i’d like to call myself atheist. To think about it, after i left islam >> agnostic >> christian >> atheist, i’ve never been a full time christian. I feel like my own mind keeps challenging this new belief system (christianity). I must admit that what impressed me the most about christianity is the figure of Jesus.
Let me start first with moral law. His moral tenets were and are just truly benevolent, eventhough he’s quite radical in his teachings. without further examination, i embraced christianity. But through some periodic of time, i realise that i’ve never been fond of Old Testament. Even in NT, my most favourite parts are those verses when Jesus speak by himself, a.k.a the Gospels. Moral law becomes my fav. and like many christians, i also read mere christianity, i haven’t finished reading it and i don’t plan to, but i get the point ; in order to have objective moral law, god must exist. When i was still a christian, this was so refreshing though, untill i gave myself time to examine morals in old testament, and i couldn’t help but were in rage. If God is the standard of moral law, all-knowing and all, how could he bent his moral by killing thousands of innocent canaanites just because they’re infidels ??? why’d he need to choose the genocide ? was he incapable of doing another much less evil action if he deems canaanites were harmful ? Not to mention slavery, rape, etc. They’re so loud about chastity, but when subject like massacres, genocides, rape being part of bible brought up on the table, they’ll always go classic like “it’s the context of the era”. All i can sense is that their God (abrahamic religions) is not all-knowing, omnibenevolent whatsoever, what kind of Almighty standar of moral law that goes violate and breach his own standard ? This is menacing for me.
Does any of you go through this moral acrobatic to become atheist ?
Next i wanna speak about Jesus. yes i’m aware that there’re very few evidence that can prove Jesus was ever to exist, but what i want to discuss is his moral tenets & his end of life. I agree with dawkins, that if such person like Jesus ever existed, he’s indeed a great (and radical) moral teacher. and for being so radical in that time about morality where society he was in were so familiar with disgusting book such as OT, it’s understandable that his life ended like socrates ; death sentence. Socrates was also a man of wisdom & knowledge unlike sophists, resolute, and he refused to give in his tenets that made him paid it with his own life. I in the slightest way, consider that probably Jesus was just also a man of wisdom and very knowledgeable of OT, that his radical teaching was deemed as heretic and thus he was nailed. Even if Jesus never existed, i think i’d like to keep his tenets to my own likings just like how i like socrates. Do you guys have any other thoughts about Jesus ?
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