KGM For All Nations

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Randomhero1982's picture
KGM For All Nations

Saw the below image and thought compelled to share!

The wonders of theism!

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algebe's picture
WTF is a "fundational" wife

WTF is a "fundational" wife or husband?

"No strange children"!? Don't they know that all children are strange? They're not even human until they pass 20.

arakish's picture
No Disappointment? Well,

No Disappointment? Well, that is lie right off the bat. Its Absolutist. Of course it is going to be disappointment.

No sperm discharge? Okay, it is a vasectomy clinic.

And WTF is KGM?

rmfr

TheBlindWatchmaker's picture
That's insane!

That's insane!

Tin-Man's picture
What everybody else has said

What everybody else has said so far, plus....

No dream sex??? What the hell? And what in the world is a "trecpass fee"??? And no "early death" compared to what? They supply everybody with personal bodyguards, or maybe personal "soulguards"? That whole poster is one big jumble of woo-woo marbled-mouth nonsense.

Edit to add: By the way, Random, how the hell are ya? Glad to see you back in the mix.

Randomhero1982's picture
Hiya Tin-man, I'm good thanks

Hiya Tin-man, I'm good thanks chap!
It's nice to be back following some time away with work, as I work in seismology it has been rather busy of late!

All that followed by a family holiday, so refreshed and raring to go at the lunatics again!

Hope your well!

Tin-Man's picture
@Random

@Random

Doing great on this end. A couple of extra dents and scratches here and there, but it's all good. *chuckle*

Sapporo's picture
"...in the midst of life we

"...in the midst of life we are in death, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera..." ~ Morrissey

chimp3's picture
I know a few fringe wackos in

I know a few fringe wackosl like that in Kentucky! One raises chickens and has a lot of bumper stickers.

The_Quieter's picture
"Why do you have to attack us

"Why do you have to attack us!?"

Because you promote absolute nonsense like this that people believe and it hurts them.

Cognostic's picture
No sperm discharge? HA!

No sperm discharge? HA! Try getting Semenyuk interested in that.

Cognostic's picture
I just went and looked up

I just went and looked up Genesis 2:18/ This is an advertisement for a Christian meet up dating service.

This is what the Bible verse says:
"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."

This is what the advertisement says:

"Breaking the power of romance with Satan" (A reference to "stop masturbating in your bed and in your dreams") Obviously you should to the meeting and meet a Christian who can take care of your desires.

"Three days of DEEP martial DELIVERANCE and prayer. (The only prayer I can think of that fits the DEEP DELIVERANCE category is "Oh my God, harder. harder. Give it to me (Deliver it unto me (Same words in modern English).

"No Spirit Husband / wife" (A real one. Come and meet him or her.)
"No Dream sex (The real thing is waiting for you at this meeting.)

"No sperm discharge" A reference to the biblical "It is a sin to spill seed." We all know what Jesus told Mary to do with the Discharge in the "Greater Expectations of Mary" when he took her to the top of a mountain, pulled a woman from his side and instructed Mary in the secret ways. (It's a great read if you have not heard it before.) Yum!!! Jesus was kinky!

No Fundational wife or husband: This is what I found - Fundational Principles of Reformed Church Government - First United ... www.chinourc.org/principles_reformed_church_gov.cfm
The church is the possession of Christ, who is the Mediator of the New Covenant. Acts 20:28; Ephesians 5:25-27; As Mediator of the New Covenant, Christ is the ... (So this would be a wife who is not the possession of God. Holy Sht - they are promising skanks - loose women and loose men. People not possessed by God. This is sounding better all the time.

"No tracpass fees" Apparently there will be a motorcycle race. http://www.tracpass.com
Or could this be a reference to riding someone like a motorcycle? And No Fees! For Free?

"No Spiritual Sickness" I can only interpret this as "feelings of guilt." What other spiritual sickness is there. All the motorcycle riding you want and no guilt.

"No Disappointment" Now that is a hell of a promise! This just gets better and better.

"No Spiritual Accusation" Hmmm.... I had to look this one up. "No condemnation." It just means whatever you do is ooooookkkaaayyyy! "The accusing spirit is an anti-Christ spirit, because it approaches people with no love, but a tone of condemnation. It works through a voice; the voice of condemnation..... The accusing spirit will manifest in a variety of ways. It can cause accuse a person directly, it can cause them to accuse others around them, or it can accuse God in a person's mind." http://www.greatbiblestudy.com/accusing_spirit.php
So basically - Ladies and Gents, you are free to frolic as you like and welcome to the orgy.

"No Earthy Death" Well obviously. BDSM is fun but it can be taken to the extreme. A little pain might be a good thing but no one wants to die. If I was hosting the event I would ban earthly death as well.

I don't know what the rest of you are reading but I am going to check my calendar and see if I am free next Monday. This looks like it could be a blast.

If Tin Man was not married and madly in love I am sure he wold be going. Hey Old Man - you up for a romp on the wild side?

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog

@Cog

Man! The way you describe it, that sounds like it would be one helluva gathering! Kudos to you for being able to decipher such a cryptic message. Dang, if I had known about that place 7 or 8 years ago, I would have definitely been violating several traffic laws to get there as quickly as possible. As you said, though, I am now deeply and madly in love. My days of romping on the wild side have been relegated to whimsical stories of my eventful and colorful past. And for the record, absolutely zero regrets. *Big Smile*

Sheldon's picture
What is it with Puritanical

What is it with Puritanical self righteous theists, and their (alleged) opposition to oninism? Is this really what they think an omniscient deity troubles itself over, pathetic.

Wtf did it give us opposable thumbs in the first fucking place then?

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