Should atheist kids tell their religious parents they are atheist?

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Nicolas Valencia's picture
Should atheist kids tell their religious parents they are atheist?

As an atheist kid, I want to open to my parents I am atheist. Should a kid like me me be open about it or should they keep it to themselves? Also, how should they tell their parents they are atheist?

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CyberLN's picture
Read "Coming out Atheist" by

Read "Coming out Atheist" by Greta Chistina.

http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Atheist-Help-Other/dp/1939578191

Nicolas Valencia's picture
Thanks for the link!

Thanks for the link!

Nyarlathotep's picture
If you are still in a

If you are still in a position where you depend financially on your parents, I would be wary of telling them. Since you know your parents better than any of us could; the fact that you haven't told them yet, seems to say to me that perhaps you don't think it will go very well. :)

Spewer's picture
As Nyarlathotep alluded, it

As Nyarlathotep alluded, it all depends on how you think your parents would react. There are some things to weigh: For example, maybe your parents would think less of you if you told them. The question comes down to what you value more. Do you value having a good relationship with your parents more than you value whatever goal you achieve by telling them? Only you can answer that for yourself.

My father died never knowing I am an atheist. Does that make me a coward for not telling him? Perhaps. But I determined that any advantage gained by my telling him would be outweighed by the artificial stress he would take on if he knew. That stress would be imposed by his false religion, not by me, so my decision was to spare him from that. That was right for me, but it may not be right for everyone.

Nicolas Valencia's picture
I see your points, and I

I see your points, and I decided to wait a while before I tell them. I want to maintain a good relationship with them, and I just got a new phone, so I'll wait.

Johnny Moronic's picture
All other things being equal,

All other things being equal, sure, why not? I started asking tough questions when I was 7 and told my parents I was pretty sure I was an atheist when I was 9. Do you... expect that your parents will react poorly to it? (It was difficult for my mother to hear/accept, for sure. She made me keep going to church until I was about 16, and then let me stop once she decided I was "old enough to make my own decisions. But, I'd still rather that she know the real me.) As for how to tell them... Well, I told my folks I had something important i wanted to discuss and just sat them down and told them. "I've struggled with this whole religion thing. I know I'm just a kid, but I'm not buying the whole god thing. I think I'm an atheist." Truth is painful sometimes. For he teller and the listener. But I usually find it's best. Unless you live in a country where they deal with such things by cutting your head off, of course. In which case I would recommend just keeping it private until you manage to escape.

mysticrose's picture
As a parent, I would like my

As a parent, I would like my children to be honest with their feelings and opinions to me so I think it would be right if atheist kids will tell the truth to their parent no matter what the view of their parents is.

Spewer's picture
I agree with you in principle

I agree with you in principle, but a factor to consider is the imbalance of power in a parent/child relationship. Not all parents are as reasonable. Those heavily invested in their religious dogma often are more judgmental, so they may react disproportionately because, as the parents, they can.

Mxolisi Masuku's picture
Well that one is a bit tricky

Well that one is a bit tricky. How deep are your parents into religion and how much do you need them in terms of support? Your answer to those questions determine what comes next. I advice that you open up and be have a solid plan in case the worst happens. I had to move out after my confession about atheism. I lost the affection of my family but then again can we say its a family when they accept you for who you are??

flippinout84's picture
This is a delicate situation.

This is a delicate situation. You can usually gauge how your parents may react based on how they view other issues of equality or other religions, as there is a misconception that atheism is a religion. I will have to agree with Mxolisi about how much you rely on your parents for support. I didn't come out as atheist until I was 30. My family is having a hard time accepting it, but I was fortunate enough that they haven't shunned me. If you want to test the waters, ask them what they think about atheists and why before you make a huge decision too soon.

Nicolas Valencia's picture
My parents aren't that

My parents aren't that religious, so I think I'll open up to them. They were okay when I went through several "phases", but atheism is not a phase. I'll tell them over the weekend because they love and understand me.

Spewer's picture
Good for you! I hope it goes

Good for you! I hope it goes smoothly. Please let us know how they react.

ThePragmatic's picture
Good luck, it's probably for

Good luck, it's probably for the best.

Always1895's picture
If you live in a country

If you live in a country where your life could be be endangered if revealed that you're an atheist, then remaining a closet atheist might be a good idea just in case your parents report you or mention it to someone who could end up reporting you. If you're a proud, unashamed atheist, go for it. If they really love you, they'll keep loving you regardless of what you believe.

mysticrose's picture
I agree that keeping your

I agree that keeping your true belief by yourself will keep you safe if you're in an extremely religious country.

Caryn May's picture
My sis and I both lost our

My sis and I both lost our religion. My mother is a very devoted Catholic and we tried keeping up appearances. I knew she wouldn’t turn us out or cut us off, but I did know she would be heartbroken and would see it as a personal failure, so we weren’t going to tell her unless absolutely necessary. It came out this past Christmas when she flat out asked us. I still live with them and I’ve agreed to continue going to masses with her as my dad isn’t particularly religious either so she feels less alone having me go. She has actually taken it far better than I thought she would. I can’t vouch for your parents, but they may surprise you. It’s easier having it out in the open.

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