When I go to heaven I'd like to order KFC. Actually I quite like a good steak, spare ribs and lambs chops too.
It leads me to the question: Are there animals in heaven. Do they have stock of chickens, cows, lambs and pigs? If so, then heaven can't be a very nice place for those animals because they get eaten. If they don't have those foods, then heaven isn't a very nice place for me.
What about dogs? Will my dear dog that died 5 years ago be there, uneaten (I know some cultures do eat dogs)? If my dog isn't there then I don't want to go there.
Another question: We all descended from the original apes. At what point did we start going to heaven? After Adam, or Abraham, or Peter, Paul and John? What about the various hominids that lived here 2 millions years ago? When did we become eligible to go to heaven? 5000 years ago? What has god been doing for the past 13.8 billion years?
Another question: Who will be there? The boring popes? What if Hitler repented on his deathbed? Will Adam and Eve be there ? On that note do they know about KFC?
Ideally I'd like those with actual experience to give me these answers.
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One need only to look at the cover of a watchtower magazine to that yes there are animals in heaven.
Perhaps it will be a little like this?
https://youtu.be/bAF35dekiAY
Lol. It's on Youtube so it must be true.
If there's a KFC there it ain't heaven....
If you are going to chicken heaven you have to learn the song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqc8lK92K7E
All dogs go to heaven, all pineapples go to hell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42oucm_lj50
so if there's KFC in heaven, then there must be a competition.
then McDonald is also present in heaven?
hey...wait a minute..., why do you have to eat when you don't have entrails if you're dead? so basically heaven is boring..
well....even jesus goes to hell sometimes...coz heaven is boring.
remember those testimonies that jesus toured them in hell..where they saw popes and michael jackson tormented in hell...
i guess jesus really love it down there...enjoying the suffering and the agony of other people.
Can't say much about heaven, but the last couple of times I passed through hell there was a Taco Bell and a Subway. Been a while since I've been through, so there could be a few other choices by now.
I reckon Hell's bureaucracy looks a little like this:
https://vimeo.com/38326140
Would anyone else care to point out the fact that there might not be a heaven?
You seem new here, let me assure you everyone posting here so far do not believe in heaven, at least I am pretty sure they do not... ;) It is all in good fun.
@Sophie Re: "Would anyone else care to point out the fact that there might not be a heaven?"
Hey there, Sophie. How ya doin'? Welcome to the AR. First, please allow me a moment to say that has got to be one of the cutest little kittens I have ever seen! Awwww.... Adorable... *Grin* Okay, anyway....
Hope you don't mind my saying, but you're looking a little concerned. Fret not, young lass. This is one of those threads not meant to be taken too seriously. Personally, I call them "Fun Threads." Gives everybody a chance to come in and poke fun at stuff and sharpen our wits on each other. Can't go around being all uptight and serious all the time. Plenty of other threads out there for that. On ones like this, though, feel free to cut loose and have a good time. You know what they say: "All work and no play..."
Heaven to me would be completely guilt free food, no animals harmed, all you can eat fatty greasy food if that is what you want. Hell (pun intended?) why not make it so whatever food you do eat is even better than kfc when you have a day you feel like kfc. Except it wont give you the runs after you eat it.
If all animals go to heaven as little children are so frequently told, then there are chickens there. If there are KFCs and chickens then I wouldn’t want to be there too. KFCs really piss off chickens. Have you ever been in the vicinity of a pissed off chicken, let alone many pissed of chickens?
No, but if you take your shotgun to heaven, there is a KFA - Wings are all white meat and they taste heavenly.
Is Elvis in heaven?
No KFC in Heaven! They had better serve my first wife's Smothered Chicken (Shreveport, La style). Whole leg quarters dredged in seasoned flour and fried until crisp. Then put legs in deep skillet dstal end towards center. Smother in Chicken gravy. On top of each leg portion a portion of biscuit dough. Put into oven until biscuit is done. Serve with whole leg topped with biscuit smothered in gravy.
You don't need KFC when you have KFA. Kentucky Fried Angels are more tender, have whiter meat, and taste great with holy water.
i like KFD in hell, Kentucky Fried Devils, you know i love spicy. and served extra hot!!
fried devils there are more crunchy and flavorful that melts in your mouth, yum...makes me wanna go there already. hahah
Crunchy yes, but that is because they are over cooked. And those unbaptized babies are like biting into rocks.
I love paella... Does anyone know if shrimps qualify to go to Heaven as well?
you should try our paella's and valencianas here in the philippines flam....
i think there isn't any difference from what spain serves. only we do it alternatively.
hope you both can add philippines on your honeymoon trip list.. and enjoy our cultured cuisines.
@Flamenca
Shrimp can't go to Heaven! They can't possibly! Shrimp are an abomination! You KNOW that, Flamenca!
Edit: Oh! Read a little more of the thread and discovered you didn't know that after all. Come to think of it, my Catholic mother didn't know it either. Well. That just proves Catholics aren't True Christians and since the overwhelming majority of Christians are Catholics, Hell is going to be a crowded, thriving necropolis and Heaven vast, sparse and largely empty- like the Australian Outback.
@Sushi. I didn't remember that from the Bible. My mother is also a RCC and every Christmas' Eve at my parents' has always been a seafood feast in fact!
@Flamenca
Yep! We do, too. Prawns. Bugs. Oysters. Crabs, when we were all up north and got lucky with the pots.
Maybe! Thanks for the suggestion, @Quasi!
I'm curious about your paellas, I have to check those out.
No paellas, not only do shrimps not have souls but the bible strictly forbids the eating of them. There is no ban on rat meat though. (I'm just saying.... God must have known what he was doing.)
Oh, no, @Cognostic. What a hell of heaven then it must be!
I didn't know the Bible forbids eating shrimps... Given the high intake of them in my country, almost all of my fellow patriots are going to keep me company in hell.
Heathen sinners burn in hell for their transgressions.
" Deuteronomy 14:9-10 ESV
“Of all that are in the waters you may eat these: whatever has fins and scales you may eat. And whatever does not have fins and scales you shall not eat; it is unclean for you.
Proverbs 23:2 ESV
And put a knife to your throat if you are given to appetite.
The BIBLE is quite clear on these matters.
@Cog
Catholics don't really read the Bible, Cog. They're not actually forbidden to read it, but they are strongly encouraged to ask a priest instead. Laypeople lack the expertise to understand what they're reading, you see.
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