It is a truism that funerals are for the living to help them deal with the death of a loved one. So, should we care about the type or even existence of any service/celebration/wake/event carried out after our demise?
We have just had a death in the family (my wife’s uncle). The visitation starts tonight with the droning, grey church service and expensive burial to follow tomorrow morning and afternoon. The standard post-death rituals of somebody who lived the American Dream.
Even though my wife is still Christian, she wants nothing to do with a service like that. She wants a big family get together with food, fun and games. The college kids can play Settlers of Catan, card games from Fantan to Bridge, stories being told, a few tears – she would be fine with that and so would I.
Cremate our bodies and incorporate the cremains into the concrete of artificial (memorial) reefs that are then lowered into the Gulf of Mexico to support wildlife and fish. (Though the most numerous fish will probably be the invasive, poison-finned Lionfish from S.E. Asia, but so what.)
What do you want to happen to your deceased remains? 6 feet under? Sky burial? Cremation? Ashes shot into orbit? Scattered on the compost heap?
What about the event to help your survivors deal with your death?
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My mother always used to say that she wanted to be buried in a gunny sack under the apple tree in our back yard. I wish we could do something like that so our remains can be recycled by the flora and fauna of the planet...a way to give back.
I wouldn't like my corpse to be used in a religious ritual and I would hope that wish would be respected by all who know me, religious or not. To that extent, I somewhat care about my funeral. But I have donated my body to science, organ transplant or for medical research so I hope there will be nothing left to bury, no cost to anyone and my family will get to keep all my life insurance money.
Requiem in D Minor K626 with full orchestra a chorus. I don't want much at my dead party
I do not believe in an afterlife, so: my instructions are my body is to be donated to science and any still viable organs that can save others to be used. (My body would probably most likely be used by med students studying a cadaver.)
However, my surviving close family can supercede that instruction to do what they wish with the body to help them with the grieving process. With the final decision resting on the surviving family that was the closest to me if there is disagreement.
I have no care for my body after I am dead, (I have no cares at all, I am dead!) So I leave it up to those still living to decide what they want to do with it because they still have cares.
The absolute worst ending I can think of is to be preserved like Lenin and Mao. I hear that Hugo Chavez of Venezuela is also being mummified. I wonder if these major bastards think embalming somehow keeps them out of hell.
I want a funeral like the one in the Big Lebowsky, my ashes scattered in the air in an upwind so everyone can take a little bit of me home in their hair and clothing. There would be real tears as they rubbed me out of their eyes.
I want all my useable pieces used to help those in need. The rest I want to be cremated and strewn in the Ozark Mountains.
I want to be buried face down (symbolic of going to hell) with my ass exposed and a headstone that reads "Kiss It!"
Reality: The cheapest and most expedient method of ultimate disposal is my request. There will be no ceremony nor continuing drama like imposing some silly request to spread my ashes on Cleopatra's sarcophagus. I'm okay with the local landfill.
I don't think spreading ones ashes in nature is "drama". I'm sure that was a snipe at me Pitar.
Also if you are buried face down, be buried shallow enough so you can finally be useful and people can park their bike.
Pitar,
If you live near one of these sites they may take your corpse.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kristinakillgrove/2015/06/10/these-six-body...
If I could help it, I'm done with going to funerals. That is not how I want to remember them. I also think they are stupidly expensive. My family is Catholic, so funerals for them last a damn week. It's 3 days of the wake (usually open casket, ugh), then the funeral, then a few days of get togethers.
My Husband, myself, and if I have a say in my parent's remains, will all be donated to science. I thought cremation was a good idea until I realized that my great great grandkids wouldn't want ashes of someone they didn't know. Cremation is also expensive. So, donate any good organs to those who need it, the rest will go to science. Have a party. The end.
@mykcob4
Just keep thinking your mere existence is important enough for me to consider sniping at and you will have found purpose in your life.
I don't need you at all. Pitar.
My life is full of meaning. I don't need a curmudgeon in it to find meaning.