So I’m up at 4am this morning, make my coffee, grab a smoke and sit out on my doorstep. Beautiful night sky.
A light grey van pulls up in front and I watch with curiousity. A young guy, about early 20s gets out the passenger side and walks around the front of the van. On the same side, another guy gets out, heads around the back of the van, leaving the driver. They’re wearing dark clothes with dark touques (Canadian speak for a tight head, usually knit, hat). My brow furrows, and my spider senses kick in. I set down my coffee cup.
Idiotstick (guy in front of van) notices me. Freezes and looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Dumbass (guy from back of van) doesn’t notice and is on my property checking to see if my vehicle is unlocked. Idiotstick makes “cawing” noise to get dumbasses attention.
“Hey dumbass!” I yell, “I’m sitting right here! Get the fuck off my property!”
Dumbass freaks and almost slips on the ice hurrying to the vehicle where the “getaway driver” is pumped and ready to go...idiotstick has already hightailed it.
I call the RCMP. And I’m disappointed. It takes the RCMP about 25-30min to respond, more than enough time to bury bodies ;)
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