Atheist Predictions for 2019

44 posts / 0 new
Last post
Dan Morris's picture
A cure for hemorrhoids, and

A cure for hemorrhoids, and tp that works with one swipe! It could happen!

Sapporo's picture
I'd probably find it easier

I'd probably find it easier to predict what will not happen rather than what will, but that tends to give boring predictions.

Cognostic's picture
Ken Ham's Ark will be struck

Ken Ham's Ark will be struck by lightening - (official story) and burn to the ground, The real story is that he got drunk one night and set the ark on fire to avoid Tax Fraud charges, bankruptcy, and looking like a bigger idiot than he already is.

Rohan M.'s picture
Oh yeah, the Ark Encounter...

Oh yeah, the Ark Encounter... Here is Seth Andrews' video of him and Dillahunty visiting it.

Dan Morris's picture
No no no! Ken Ham' s ark

No no no! Ken Ham' s ark will be swept out to the Atlantic in a massive flood where it will break apart and sink into the abyss. It's ok though, he will collect the insurance payoff and retire to a man made island just off the Yucatan peninsula, dead center of the crater created by the asteroid that probably caused the extinction of the dinosaurs!

Cognostic's picture
It's only half a boat. The

It's only half a boat. The back side is all office structure. It is certainly just as seaworthy as the original ark. It could end up floating to the top of a mountain to be discovered by future archaeologists who were out to prove out culture was made up of retards.

doG's picture
It is revealed that the human

It is revealed that the human genome project has been secretly proving that all human traits are genetic, including which point it starts a mass exodus from all religious belief around the world, propelling scientific experimentation into the stratosphere, prompting massive gains in all knowledge which initiates space travel to alpha centauri in search of extraterrestrial life...finding it and promptly initiating enslavement of all humanity in a perpetual multidimensional prison of fire controlled and enjoyed at the hess of their children who are ironically called gods. However, the newly discovered extraterrestrials fall in love with dogs, and think they are ultra kewl allowing them total freedom of all their planets, at which point the buildup of massive amount of dog poop starts a massive bacterial explosion killing all extraterrestrials with disease. Eventually a chinese crested puppy, stumbles across and playfully paws the perpetual multidimensional fire prison realm reversal button, saving all humanity, at which point humanity responds with great joy and immortalized all dogs with great respect and adoration which over some time evolves into a religion, negating all human knowledge gained and thus starting the human stupidity cycle all over again.

Tin-Man's picture


Fantastic insight! Yeah.... It could happen... *nodding head in agreement*....

arakish's picture
@ doG

@ doG

Absolutely fabulous! Wonderful!


Cognostic's picture
What should I wear?

What should I wear?

Rohan M.'s picture
And it would also finally

And it would also finally give us world peace; no more ISIS, no more Hindutva, no more Religious Wrong, no more priests raping little boys, no more stupid "blasphemy" laws, no more stupid "apostasy" laws, no more hysteria over "scientists playing God" with GMO and gene-editing, no more wingnuts obsessing over trying to put women back in the kitchen because "it's their place", and I could go on and on.

Nyarlathotep's picture
Major saber rattling (or

Major saber rattling (or worse) on the Korean Peninsula; that is my guess.

LostLocke's picture
I predict that this hipster

I predict that this hipster retro wave will continue. After fully adopting (re-adopting?) vinyl record players and film cameras, people will go back to using 8 bit computers running DOS and black & white CRT TVs.


Donating = Loving

Heart Icon

Bringing you atheist articles and building active godless communities takes hundreds of hours and resources each month. If you find any joy or stimulation at Atheist Republic, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner.

Or make a one-time donation in any amount.