Biblical literalism is a slippery slope to leave isn't it

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Mikhael's picture
Biblical literalism is a slippery slope to leave isn't it

Now I come from Catholicism which isn't bible literal. They fully believe that a lot of stories in the bible as parables or poetry. And I know that through history this wasn't an unheard of stance

But like. As more and more things turn up to not be true, ie, Moses and Abraham now being accepted as not being historical, how does one continue to follow the supposed "literal" parts of the bible like Jesus' ministry?

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Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Mikheal

@ Mikheal

ow does one continue to follow the supposed "literal" parts of the bible like Jesus' ministry?

Jesus' Ministry? Literal? Miracles, fairy tales and stolen myths?

Answer, you don't Mikhael.

Mikhael's picture
What I mean is, for someone

What I mean is, for someone who is part of a church that says, oh we don't take this or that OT story literally, how can they justify taking the Jesus shit literally

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Mikhael

@ Mikhael

how can they justify taking the Jesus shit literally

They can't. Doing so is a symptom of their delusional state.

David Killens's picture
Nineteen people flew

Nineteen people flew airliners into the ground or buildings on 911. You do not need any proof the be committed to religion, you just need to be brainwashed.

Belief is the suspension of reality (just like watching the WWE), along with other crazy stuff. I know people who truly believe in heaven, I also know people who truly believe that pro wrestling is real in every way. Despite the fact that at on Feb 9th, 1989, Vince McMahon was dragged in front of a New Jersey State Senate inquiry, and under oath, he admitted that it was all staged.

Mikhael's picture
Bruh I am so proud that I

Bruh I am so proud that I actually understand the context there (a friend dragged me into watching wrestling) and I totally get that, it's definatelt an extreme devotion when we are talking about suicide bombers. But on like a theologian level, what is their b.s. criteria? I know in Catholicism that divide by like, moral laws and ceremonial laws. Is that a sort of universal marker in Christianity ?

NewSkeptic's picture


What!?!?!? The WWE is staged?????? No Fucking WAY!

That was a conspiracy and VM had no choice but to say that. King Kong Bundy was literally holding Linda upside down by her feet out a window on the 89th floor of the Empire State Building. What was he supposed to do????

Just how gullible are you?

David Killens's picture
To be honest Mikhael,

To be honest Mikhael, casually discarding the entire bible as valid and true was very easy for me.

Cognostic's picture
@Mikhael: "When is the

@Mikhael: "When is the ministry of Jesus to be taken literally?" Seriously.... Paul knows absolutely nothing about his ministry, his birth, his miracles, NOTHING! Paul gets every bit of information he shares with the readers "FROM SCRIPTURE" or "DIVINE INSPIRATION." Paul, one of the first writers about Jesus, DOES NOT GIVE HIM A MINISTRY OR A VIRGIN BIRTH.

Why would you assume anything at all about Jesus' ministry is real? Move to Mark. Jesus in Mark is made divine at his baptism, NOT AT HIS BIRTH. In fact Mark, knows nothing about a virgin birth. The virgin birth crap does not start until Matthew and Luke.

As you move forward in time, the miracles of Jesus become greater and greater until you reach the book of Mark and suddenly Jesus is God.


Messiah Complex's picture
Most new atheists begin their

Most new atheists begin their separation from religion by ridiculing literal translations of the Bible, usually because it's very easy to do. But the fun comes after you're bored of the literal — when you start making your own metaphors out of allegories. To be fair, early Jews were against writing down their religious teachings because they feared this would make the teachings too rigid. It was more a matter of interpretation. If you couldn't interpret the lesson in your own specific way, then you didn't really understand the teaching. With that in mind, I always try to put my own spin on scripture.

For instance, in Ezekiel 4:12, God tells Ezekiel to eat food cooked over human shit: "And you shall eat the food as you would a barley cake, after you bake it over dried human excrement in the sight of the people.”

What is the metaphor here? Is God saying that Ezekiel is going to have to deal with the shit of Israel, intimately? Barley is a grain full of fiber, the instigator of a fresh shit. Is God encouraging in with the old (shit), out with the new (shit)? As in Israel should abandon their muddled, heathen traditions and return to the old law?

Creating a narrative is all part of the fun.

Cognostic's picture
@Messiah Complex:

@Messiah Complex: Interesting. For the longest time I have taken that passage to mean, shit is a good thing and when God serves it up just eat it and shut the fuck up. I have used that particular passage to justify my poo flinging for a couple of centuries now. God shows us what to do with poo, so just shut the fuck up and deal with it.

My other favorite passage is when God tells us to laugh at dead baby jokes.
Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us. He who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. (Psalms 137:8-9)

What's little and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.

What's little and blue and sits in the corner?
A baby with a plastic bag over its head?

What's little and green and sits in the corner?
The same babies 6 months later.

NeverHappened's picture
Literal belief in the Bible

Literal belief in the Bible is about as constructive as literal belief in Homer. Mythology is exactly that. Some religions (Christian and others) escape that problem by being more interpretive. This has the advantage of being more adaptable, but at the other extreme it becomes like new age spirituality, more 'tolerant' but totally useless.

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