PROOF OF MORAL INTELLIGENT DESIGN:
The T-rex was created with tiny little arms so it could not violate itself.
It has become obvious to me that God works in mysterious ways to keep its' creation from sinning. Can you think of any other ways God is working with his creations to keep them from sinning.
Example:
The panda, a member of a carnivorous and omnivorous species, clearly demonstrates there was a time when all bears ate only things that grew from the ground. It was the fall of man that changed cuddly little bears into flesh eating monsters.
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It is obvious the duck-billed platypus was designed so that their species would not look upon each other with sinful lustful thoughts.
(Oh, and I'm glad I'm not a T-Rex.)
We just call it 'a platypus' . Probably because there are no other kinds of platypus .
Some about fun facts about the platypus; Is an egg laying marsupial which suckles its young. The platypus is also venomous. .Its scratch is painful and will make you ill but will not kill you.
The platypus is yet another seriously cute Australian animal which REALLY doesn't like to be cuddled. The Koala is another. Pick one up and he will probably urinate on you and give you fleas.
Kangaroos tend to be skittish in the wild. They don't make good interactive pets because they are ineffably stupid as are many Australian native animals IE they make average sheep seem intellectually gifted in comparison. ---Simple, evolution in action; no native predators, so don't need brains to survive.
@cranky: "Simple, evolution in action; no native predators, so don't need brains to survive." Following this line of logic to its natural conclusion, it would appear that Christians are about to get smarter because the atheists are on the rise.
Males were designed with penis which allows us to pee standing up, thereby making it easier to mark our territory and dominate our respective properties. Brilliant design, and it fits perfectly in the hand.
"Brilliant design"?
The "last chicken in the shop" look?!!
..with apologies to Red Dwarf.
@Tinny
"Brilliant design, and it fits perfectly in the hand."
Lucky for me I have large hands.
Makes finding it easier right? More surface area with those large hands to check all around down there and find that lil nubbin?
;P
@NewSkeptic: If large hands were a requirement of design, mine would not be poking me in they eye every time I touched it. I have to use both hands to restrain it.
@Cognostic
But you are not human, you do not count!
Then how does it happen that god forced me to walk backwards? It is awkward when I try to walk forward, constantly tripping over my junk.
Yours fits in your hand? Really?
@Cranky Re: "Yours fits in your hand? Really?"
Yep! It sure does!... *beaming with pride*... Thankfully, I have small hands.... Oh... wait... *scratching head*...
On that note. Females were perfectly designed so that we would know who the dominant sex was. (Notice how that sentence can be read with multiple interpretations. I'm not fool.)
God made all the clean animals clean so Noah could grip them better when he tossed them into the fire. God's a thinker, he is...
God made whales with fins because he knew they would not be climbing any trees.
It's all evidence of design!
God made penguins black and white so they could hide on checker boards. Ever seen a penguin on a checker board? Of course not. That just demonstrates how good at hiding they are. Wounded penguins recover on the black and red checker boards. They are virtually invisible as they recover.
Good created wombats with the ability to produce cubic shit so he could play dice with the universe.
It's obvious to me that my cat and my dog, both females, were given the ability, by Gawd, to lick their privates, thus negating any impulses towards sinful lesbianism.
Also, he was smart enough not to give human females this ability as it would make males of the species surplus to requirements.
God loves us ALL because He created each and every one of us. He even created stupid people. That is why God made the sun so far away from the Earth. Because if God had put the sun on or near Earth, he knew the stupid people He created would be tempted to walk up to it and try to touch it. Therefore, He placed the sun waaaaaaaay out of reach to protect the stupid people. God plans ahead. He is awesome like that.
Ah this thread reminds of one of my favorite memes:
god: okay tiny animals you're ready to be in the world!!!
ants: yipee!! yay!!!
god: okay let's make the anteater now
ants: the what
God made fish with fins. This was a stroke of genius. If he had made them with legs they would all wander up onto the land, dry up, fall over, and just lie there stinking up the area.
The Creationist God made turtles with hard shells so people would have ash trays.
@Cog Re: "The Creationist God made turtles with hard shells so people would have ash trays."
Ashtrays???... Hell, I thought they were for chips and dip... Hmmm... Guess that would explain all the cigarette butts in my dip after parties.
@!TinMan: You have no taste buds anyway. It is all converted to carbon and burned for fuel so what in the hell difference does it make? Hell. you can eat tree bark and be perfectly happy.
@!TinMan: You have no taste buds anyway. It is all converted to carbon and burned for fuel so what in the hell difference does it make? Hell. you can eat tree bark and be perfectly happy.
It's obvious that God made butt sex feel good so that he could test the faith and sexuality of people, and punish those who take the bait! How loving he is!
@Rohan Re: Butt sex
Bwaaaaa-haaaa-haaaaaa-haaaaa!!!... *trying to catch breath*.... Dammit, young man! Give an old fart a bit of warning next time! That one caught me off guard... Bwaaaaa-haaa-haaa!!!
@Tin Man I hope that you weren't drinking anything as you read that! Wouldn't want to break one of Arakish's commandments...
What good would trailer parks be without alien abduction stories and deformed alien babies jarred up for circus attractions? God has created everything with a function. Even those tornadoes that attack the trailer parks to keep the rumors from spreading too far.
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