Hey, I'm a new member from france who is not really mastering english.
Most of my syntaxis is based on french so I guess some parts will sound awful :/
- I would like to know if my situation is common. (story below)
I have to say first that I'm 17 and never wrote a topic on a forum.
Most of the conversations I had with believers were on the youtube com section, instagram...
The point is, I have always been atheist.
But more importantly, I never even heard of god belief before I was 14 ish. (~3-4 years ago)
My father is a vietnamese migrant who left his parents too early to be properly indoctrinated into buddhism or french christian schools; My mother is french but just don't give a fuck.
They didn't warn me about religion, they didn't even plan to talk to me about. Like they didn't know themselves it existed.
They did the santa claus story, and I believed hard. Even when I discovered a pile of boxes in the attic I faked surprise for a couple christmas, convinced myself that he came to pick up the gifts himself or maybe stopped giving presents because he's too lazy...
I was aware that I imagined all of that because I was attached to an idea though, and it got me wonder why.
My city is really new for a french one (very end of 19th) and never been really religious.
+ French public school teachers must not show religious symbols nor talk about religion (most of mine wern't religious anyways, or they were hiding it well)
This environment made me some kind of "pure" non believer.
But one day I ended up hearing a guy from my class who said something about god.
I told him it didn't exist.
(It seemed obvious : people laughed at me when I was believing in santa claus. Same thing when some guy asked if the greek gods existed for real.)
Then the guy answered to me that I was an "atheist".
This got me very upset, I was not "atheist", no matter what it meant. (and still today I find this word dumb. why would you use a word to describe non believing in a particular belief ?; What about a-flyingsaucer-ist ?) [nah ik religion is so widespread we need a word to describe a minority]
I was 14. I went back home, my parents explained me clumsily the meaning of the word "atheist" then I just said I was nothing (I mean I wanted no words describing my beliefs) then I went playing video games.
Gradually over the years, I started researching philosophy a lot, and critical thinking.
I didn't have any discussion with religious people other than my little interaction at 13. But I kept getting interested, and watched videos, read texts... I even discovered statistics one day (I was expecting 90% of the french population atheist, 95% Americans atheism because they have "a more advanced society" (14yo me), and 70% atheism in the poorest countries.)
I got so freaking chocked.
I wanted to know more about religion. It became a kind of "topic of my life".
I want to talk, but nobody around me claims to believe anything or claims to believe with reasons. They ALL seem to doubt, or to easily let go. This get me a little mad.
I need religious people to understand beliefs.
I've watched street epistemology debates, critical thinking channels and american theologists responding to gm skeptic for example, or read many people arguing for religion...
I wrote/gathered multiple pages of "psychology" in an attempt to explain this behavior, I listed religious arguments, found an explanation to religion based on darwinism which seem to work quite well.
But at the end I need people to share with all of this.
And to help me notice what's wrong.
And my question is :
I've had little if not No contact with religions. And yet I got fascinated by them, social self-sustaining systems.
How common is that, how would you react to this story ? (i needed to write everything down... thx if you read)
> (I discovered last year that my best friend since im 4 to whom I spent at least 1 hour daily, and up to 20h in a row some days talking is also christian, and a dickhead believer ("It's true because I'm always right"; 'what if you were born muslim ?' "then I'd be wrong") but that's how I like him.
Ah, and he feels uncomfortable talking about it so he's not a conversation partner either.
We had thousands hours of discussion on a wild range of random subjects and I didn't notice his beliefs until recently. (that's surely bc god is useless, no need to think about him until we need to pray))
I promise if I ever post something else, it wont be personnal story. (just needed a relief)
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