My mom thinks I'm taken over by a demon!

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Mistress Mercy's picture
My mom thinks I'm taken over by a demon!

I was raised Assembly of God, an Pentecostal, fundamentalist, conservative Christian. And I bought every bit of it. I was going to save the world for Jesus. I even went to Bible school, but couldn't reconcile the doubts I began to have with the questions that arose from studying the Bible, the very book that was supposed to have all the answers. But I listened to others. I tried to take it on faith, ignore the questions and not think so much. I married, had a bunch of kids, and kept serving as best I could. But I could never escape my doubts and after some family traumas, divorce, and a trip through the mental institutions, I finally allowed my self to ask and explore the questions. I figured if this is God's Word, it should hold up to the question. Boy, was I so wrong.
Now on the other side of that 2 year journey, I have finally realized the last of my belief has vaporized. My daughter mentioned to my parents 2 weeks ago that I was watching atheist videos. So my mom, who watches my children while I work, anointed my house (which doesn't bother me since it can't do any harm) but she told my 14 year old that the atheist videos allowed demons to come in. My daughter states they then heard her window blinds move. I tried reasoning with my daughter. I asked why the demons wouldn't attack me, why would they be after her. She said that my mom told her they already have me so now they are after her. I asked why she would be afraid of the demon if she believes Jesus is protecting her. She agreed, but yet still slept that night in a chair in my bedroom, afraid to go to her room, where she heard the demon go through the window blinds.
This daughter has been sexually abused by one immediate family member and emotionally abused by her father who not only told her she should never have been born to not providing a safe environment for her when she was in his care.
I feel she has had enough fear in her life, and does not need to feel like she has to fear demons.
I wrote a letter to my mom, but am hesitant to give it to her. I don't want her to continue putting fear in my children. I also want her to understand how I got here ( she and my dad just can't understand how i went from radical Christian to atheist) but they are afraid to ask I think. At the same time, I rely so heavily on them, especially my mom, to help with the kids when I'm at work. I don't want to upset her. I also don't really want to take away her comfort in faith either. It was such a hard journey for me. I can't imagine how awful it would be for them, their whole world is their church. So I hesitate, and hold it in.

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Cognostic's picture
@Mistress Mercy: With a name

@Mistress Mercy: With a name like "Mistress Mercy" I would be worried that you were being possessed by a demon as well. (Got any plans for tonight?")

Okay, Joking aside. I will go back and read the post......

What a story! It is fucking insane the way religions can infect us and the people who are close to us.

You are in a really messed up position as you need to rely on your mom for support and mom is having such a negative influence on your daughter. Stuck between a rock and a hard place with certainly no easy way out. Your problems are burred in a social context of family and religious traditions. What if you told your mother she did a great job and all the demons were gone now? You saw them leaving this morning. Turn her craziness into play. Don't take her seriously.

The best advice I can give you is to take care of yourself. Eat right, get sleep, and learn to deal with stress. Happiness is something that comes from within you and not from the world around you. Learn to see the difference between other people's problems and your problems. You are not going to change your mother. Don't stress yourself out by trying. Set limits when you can but weigh your actions against the support you feel you need.

The one thing that you have power and control over in your life is YOU. The more you attempt to control the lives of others, the more frustrated you are going to become.. When you try to change others, they will resent you, just as you resent them when they try to change you. I probably would not give mom that letter. Not right now anyway. Opportunities for discussion will certainly present themselves.

Okay, last comment. This is a 14 year old problem. It is not a 16 year old problem. You currently need mom to watch your daughter. Soon your daughter will be able to watch herself. Then you have to worry about boys and dating and who is in the house when you are not there. Who ever told you that being a mother would be easy, lied to you.

If you need someone to talk to.... you can always come here. Perhaps someone else has some ideas that will help.

CyberLN's picture
Your child is going to hear

Your child is going to hear all sorts of crazy shit from people. The best thing you can do for her is to provide the tools to question things. When your mother hands her some religious stuff, ask your daughter questions, what does she think about it, why, what else might be true, etc. teach her to think, not to believe.

Cognostic's picture
And as you ask those

And as you ask those questions. Be open with her and share your thoughts as well, but do it without making her wrong. Use "I" statements. "I was thinking this." "I look at it this way." If she wants to know who is right.... EXCELLENT.... you can do a bit of research together or watch a YouTube video.

I highly recommend NON-STAMP COLLECTOR for a 14 year old.

Nyarlathotep's picture
Cognostic - I highly

Cognostic - I highly recommend NON-STAMP COLLECTOR for a 14 year old.

Oh good idea. Here is a good starter IMO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB3g6mXLEKk

David Killens's picture
Epistomology

Epistomology

From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epistemology

"Epistemology is the study of the nature of knowledge, justification, and the rationality of belief."

Ricardo's picture
what a complicated situation!

what a complicated situation!

Fievel Mousekewitz's picture
I can not know how that feels

I can not know how that feels, as I hadn't become atheist until after my parents both died. Of course my aunt thinks I am going to hell because I don't believe in a god. I just don't believe a god was necessary to cause the Big Bang. If so, that's all that that god really did, place together the ingredients and left happen what ever would happen. But most of any family I do have thinks I need to go to a Christian church. I don't believe in that god, nor any other god. If there was a god, I believe that god would make it clear who he/she is.

Anyways, thanks for sharing and hope you fine a way to get people close to you to understand.

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