Please Talk

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Randomhero1982's picture
Please Talk

So just a quick flying visit today and for once I'd like to stretch out an olive branch to theists as well as my fellow atheists.

Today, I lost my father.

After losing his long term partner to cancer last week, the heartache was too much for him I imagine and he committed suicide.

No one could have predicted this and we are all left with a gaping hole and answered questions.

But what is more important is to at least make the effort to be there for those who are struggling with their mental health.

Please, if you have these issues, if you feel you cant go on... please talk!

I'd there is anything I can take from this is situation, it's the power of love and heartache, the fragility of the mind and the absolute need to break down the barriers to mental health.

Again, please talk! It's never to late.


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Cognostic's picture
"Family members and other

"Family members and other survivors of a suicide feel confused after the suicide has occurred. It can be extremely difficult to understand why a person completes suicide. Theories and risk factors can help gain some understanding."

I have personally known e about 6 men with terminal diseases who committed suicide. (I work in this field.) (To be honest and a bit graphic, I have personally known 3 other men, 1 with gangrene, 1 with diabetes, and one with cancer, who all begged me for years to end their lives. The pain I witnessed was inhuman and it has led me to my personal position on euthanasia.) There is no lessening of the pain and loss you will feel over the situation; however, there is a way to understand it better.

It happens more often than you imagine. I have let all my friends and family know that I will end my own life if I am ever diagnosed with a terminal disease that will rob me of my mind or cause me to suffer in pain. This is a very logical decision for me and I can see how another human being arrives at the same conclusion. The really hard part is that, in your case, it has come as shock and surprise to the family. I am sorry for your pain but I hope that you can make peace with it at some point. Please take care of yourself and encourage your family to do the same. By doing so, you will have the strength to endure.

cranky47's picture
@Randomhero 1982.

@Randomhero 1982.

Mate, so sorry to hear of your devastating loss. I can't imagine what you are going through.

I share the following in the hope it might help ONE person:

I have suffered from and struggled with chronic severe depression on and off for 50 years. Presently stable for 5 years.

Have come within a hair's breath of suicide a few times. (once, up a ladder with a noose around my neck )

I have survived only because I've learned how to seek and accept help, and there's a lot available ---Perhaps obvious; to my GP ,initial medication ,to psychiatrist, confide in a close friend if possible ( usually found family of limited help) - Accepted anything which might help, from any source. See a psychiatrist, certainly.

I also found a cognitive psychologist most helpful . Helped me change self destructive thought patterns, over time.

Also tried Transactional Analysis ,and found it of limited help . I guess it could help once you become stable.

Tai chi is worth the effort too. As is Hatha Yoga

Once stable with medication, the real work began. When depressed, I become very isolated. seeing nobody for months at a time . Activity has been a key for me; getting out of the house , social activity, new interests------ the last time I joined a mens group, took art lesson for a year, reestablished close contact with my family . Today I email my sis daily, and have daily voice mail contact with a friend from my mens group, who also comes over for dinner once a week. -------the combination of these things have changed my life, for the better.

The above is about how it's been for me, in the hope it may help even one person .

Above all, if you are at risk ,TALK to some one, perhaps LIFELINE one phone, and/or go to Emergency at your local hospital --make no mistake, suicidal depression is a dire emergency.

R F's picture


I'm so sorry for your loss!

Unfortunately, I've lost 4 family members to suicide. It's very painful indeed. I agree with Cranky47. Thai Chi and Yoga have mental and physical benefits. I'd also like to recommend neurofeedback.

Anyone could be struggling with suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline # is 1-800-273-8255.

Randomhero1982's picture
Thank you all for your kind

Thank you all for your kind words and support with this, I'll certainly take on board everything. Currently trying to write down my thoughts and feelings, as an outlet of sorts... But I just want to say thanks again, especially in sharing contact details for those suffering.

For those of you in the UK, there is Samaritans on 116123.

If it can help just one person, it'll be worth it.

Tin-Man's picture


Hey there. I really hate hearing that about your Dad and his partner. My sincerest condolences. Wish there was something I could say to help ease the pain and loss you must be feeling, but I know that is something that you must work through in your own way over time. I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of advice to give that the others haven't already mentioned. However, I must say it would appear you are handling the situation quite well. To me that indicates you have a great inner strength and resolve. Let that serve you well in the days to come. And thank you for trusting us enough here to seek our counsel in such a personal matter.

LogicFTW's picture
Yes, anyone feeling depressed

Yes, anyone feeling depressed/suicidal please talk. Here, with a friend, family, really anyone with a level/reasonable head that will listen.

If feeling suicidal, what do you possibly have to lose talking about it with someone? And how much you could gain if you find someone to talk with.

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