Hello. So, I'm sort of in a tough predicament. I'm not 100% sure I am entirely atheist, though I do not believe in a theistic god, or even a deistic one. I believe in some sort of supernatural cosmological energy type thing I suppose. My parents are extremely devout Catholics. I've had a few talks with them about questions about the faith, though I've never told them I reject everything. My dad breaks my heart every time saying if he doesn't raise his kids catholic he will feel he has failed at life. My older brothers have unofficially left the faith and my dad feels differently about me as I am his daughter. I don't want to hurt him or my mother but I also shouldn't have to fake beliefs to keep the peace. My entire extended family is catholic. What if I get married one day not in a church? Or if I have children? I just feel this will never end. My family will always look at me as a project to fix. I love them all but I know this will ruin my relationship with most of them.
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EDIT: Moved to atheist hub
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I suggest you see the my parents believe in jeasus christus topic good advice there.
Ah, bad times mate.. I personally can't relate because, although I was raised christian yet rejected religion at the age of seven, my parents accepted it pretty much straight away, thank god! (laugh here)
.. Unfortunately sometimes there just isn't a peaceful way of dealing with things. To be who you really want to be and feel you truly are will pain your loved ones, but to not be who you feel you are will pain you.. You know what I'm going to say, you have to be true to yourself.. It may sound harsh to say, but your loved ones would get over it. And if they couldn't, they're not loved ones! Loved ones accept and forgive each other, I'm sure your family would. Hey you could even make it your personal mission to make it clear how your father has not failed at all. On the contrary in fact, to raise a child who has grown to be open-minded enough to reject religion is, in my opinion, a clear sign of good parenting. He's done an amazing job, if he didn't, you'd be catholic! (it would take some deeper explaining than that to help him realize though, of course!)
.. Bottom line, you have one life (as far as we know,) and it is YOUR life. If you mold your life to someone elses expectations, including your parents, you're going to be unhappy.
Most of us reach a point in our lives where we say "fuck what anyone thinks, I'm gunna be me!" I have a feeling you're gunna find yourself there one day :)
The day will come for you to be honest with them,
I might suggest you speak to them when they are in a good mood though :P
No matter what you say, it won't convince them that you are in the right.
But do make them see that it is your right to choose their god and not theirs.(they should back off a little)
Just tell them that god hasn't revealed himself to you yet. That should be enough for starters, don't bother debating with them, just say that words alone are not enough to convince you.
When time passes start being more strait to the point on their ridiculous arguments they will surly come up with.
The old people need more time to realize their wrongs especially if it is something that they established as facts from when they were kids.
There is nothing you can say that will convince some people.
My mom is a catechist and i have tried any argument you can imagine, and nothing sticks. They know they are wrong but cannot afford to admit it since it would mean that their most important part of their life is wrong, their hopes are wrong. It is such a shocking thing for them that there MUST be an other explanation for any argument you pull up and think they are not worthy of understanding it yet. Some truly think that there is a demon that is trying to make them sin and is using your innocence to do it.
These people don't know that they are not really sane any more.
Brainwashing children has this effect on some people.
It shuts down reason, so there is no reasonable argument that can stick.
I had a similar issue with my folks. It's a very difficult thing to do when a large portion of your family is devout in their faith. What I would suggest is to not force it on them. If they want to know sit them down and have a conversation about it, but don't walk into the kitchen one day and just announce it to whoever is standing there. If Sunday services are a part of your family ritual then you will just need to tell them that you are having questions regarding your faith and, like Jeff mentions, that god hasn't revealed himself to you yet. This is merely a delaying tactic so be ready to answer questions about it later. The way I did it was I eased them into it. In slow incremental steps I went from religion to agnosticism to atheism. I knew from the beginning where I was going with it, but they never needed to know just how much contempt I have for theism, and they still don't. My parents are wonderful and generous people, I have no desire to hurt them. On the other side of that is that I'm my own man, I need to live my life how I see fit regardless of my parent's beliefs. It's a hard path to walk, but be true to yourself without being inconsiderate of others. Don't force your parents or family members to accept that which they are unable to, but don't allow yourself to be unhappy for their sake. Everyone finds a happy medium somewhere, it just take time and persistence to find your spot.
Wireguy, I really liked the way you answered this, LOL honestly got to say I did not expect such a thoughtful and awesome response from someone using Beavis as their avatar. I was looking for something funny but got this instead! Very nice comment!
Lol
Hey ive got a question.
After coming to atheism do you feel you want your family to become atheist or do you think its kinder to leave them their comfortable lie?
I think this will be a hard question with many different responses and i look forward to reading them.
Myself i would chose to have them know the truth then what the do is upto them. This is kind of a cop out i know because once you actually know the truth you cannot force yourself to believe.
For my mother, I honestly do not think she could dope with the realization that God is not real. She is 50 years old, and has been a christian since childhood. She is deeply involved with bible Study and thinks that every church she has ever been to misunderstands the Bible completely. She thinks Jesus came back to Earth in the 1st century and is wriiting all kinds of articles aboout it and spends hours every day studying the Bible. Her entire life revolves aroung God. If she lost that, I think it would kill her. I honestly think her life would be so turned upside down that she would not know what to do. For so long she has lived for God, she wouldn't know what to live for without him. That's one reason I don't want her to find out I'm an atheist. It's bad enough that she will be appalled and want to argue, but what if my arguments make sense to her and she is convinced. I would put her on suicide watch.
Yea i remember. Odd that i remember with my meds :)
Did you hear about the 500 year old missing book of the bible that was found. It says jeasus was a prophet not the son of god, it says jeasus was not crucified but judas was, it says paul, was a false apostle and it says jeasus ascended to heaven.
I had seen a brief article about it somewhere, but it was when I was a christian so I kind of avoided it like the plague because it threatened my beliefs. I never went back to look at it, but I can only assume that it will be written of by theists as just some uninspired, irrelevant false doctrine of the first century. There are plenty of books that never made it into the Bible and they ignore all those. Good thing for them too, because a lot of it just completely too crazy to rationalize.
Well the vatican is claiming its likely a forgery by an european jew racist much lol
Mere photocopies of pages of the book are selling for over million dollars each!
I am also going through this, although I have a few minor differences. I know I am an Atheist, and my parents and the majority of my family are Mormon. I have learned that I cannot come out to them. Two of my relatives came out slowly and are now almost rejected by my family. When they question my beliefs or ask why I don't attend church, pray, or read the books, I have to just answer that I am doing some soul-searching. I may be moving out of state in a few years. At that time, I might come out to them.