A Six-year old Atheist

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Rosemary Lei's picture
A Six-year old Atheist

I was six years of age when I first realized that the God my religion worships is malevolent and egoistical. Reading the story of Adam and Eve confused my young mind: Why did god create the tree of knowledge in the first place, knowing very well that Adam and Eve would be tempted? Is it a part of his plan for Adam and Eve to eat the fruit? If so, why was he so angry when he found out that these two ate the apple? If, however, he did these to test Adam and Eve's faith, does it mean that he isn't all-knowing? Since he had to test the two? These were some of my questions that adults often avoid by making up alibis. "Only god knows." they would tell me.

As I read more stories about god, the more I realize how evil he truly is . . . and the more that I get exposed to the hardships and poverty around me, the more I realize that perhaps, there is no god. But still, despite all the doubts that I have inside me, I chose to believe in god. I was afraid of hell. I was afraid of eternal suffering. I was afraid of being different. So I went to church, prayed to god and put all my faith in him.

Let's fast forward.

Nine years later, now that I am fifteen (soon to be sixteen) years old, I have decided that I should no longer allow myself to believe in god simply because of fear. I am a human being. I am a product of evolution and I am intelligent creature; I must not waste the intelligence I possess. I must not ignore logic and science for the sake of a god that might not even exist.

Some of my friends know about my atheism. They try bringing me back to the world of christianity, but the views of their religion do not make sense to me. They feel disappointed and shocked regarding this.

My family, on the other hand, are not yet aware of this. I don't know how to tell them. If my friends reacted badly, can you just imagine what my family's reaction would be? They might be ashamed of me. Of course, I would have to tell them soon.. but not now. I just don't know how to tell them yet..

Anyway, I am a new member of the Atheist Republic. I feel happy that this site exists. It feels good to know that I am not the only one who has this kind of belief. :) You guys can just call me Lei.


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Zaphod's picture
Hi lei and welcome to the

Hi lei and welcome to the site! Family can be tough to deal with especially when it comes to religion and yes it can and often is harder to get through than with friends I came to my realizations at a young age like you did and still to this day I have difficulty dealing with friends but they generally know my stance on thing sometimes if the subject comes up though I will see them take a gasp as teh word come out of my mouth. I know it makes them feel uncomfortable so I try to respect their belief to some degree but at times I hear things said about others and just being me I have difficulty letting it slide. However the majority of my friends are atheist now a days. when it comes to family take your time you don't have to disrespect thier belief to ave your own.

I take a rather agnostic stance on the subject of diety but since there there is no tangible proof either way I feel for the most part I would rather not shove my disbelief down anybody's throat though I will defend anybody's choice to believe what they want to as long as they don't harm others with their belief. I don't think people should be closed minded and not willing to listen to the beliefs or discus the beliefs of others. To me its kind of a more you know the a better a person you can be type thing.I am not afraid or offended by someone asking questions of my belief or non existence of it and I don't think others should feel so negative about such things either. Unfortunately, sometimes people feel quite attacked and tend to be closed-minded often even hating anybody who would question their belief or non-belief differently. I actually find peoples belief interesting and even necessary sometimes. Though some people would disagree, I do feel sometimes deity has a good time, place and purpose in the world.

Rosemary Lei's picture
Hello there! Yeah. I will

Hello there! Yeah. I will take my time with my family :) And wow.. you're lucky to have friends who are atheists as well! You see, here in the Philippines, atheism is not that well-known. In fact, majority of my friends weren't even aware of what atheism is! When I told them that I no longer believe in god and its existence, they looked bewildered and asked me, "how is that even possible?" It is difficult being an atheist in a country like mine..

I agree that no one has the right to shove his beliefs/disbeliefs in anybody else's throats, but such is not the case with majority of my christian friends. They keep on forcing me to go back to my old faith. In fact, I will be talking to a pastor this Saturday because my friends want me to be 'enlightened' and to 'wake up' and they assured me that this pastor can answer all my questions. I find it tiresome that they just can't let me believe in what I want to believe in. I respect their beliefs, but I just hope they can respect mine as well. :(

and oh, I disagree with your opinion regarding deities. I don't think that the existence of these deities has a purpose in this world. I believe that one's zest for living and happiness must come from within, not from religion or belief of some deity. Just my opinion though :)

Zaphod's picture
Yeah it can be awkward when

Yeah it can be awkward when christian friends don't respect God's given gift of free will or the the fact that Jesus advocated the golden rule which basically states that you should treat others with the kind of respect you would like them to treat you with which to me would not mean trying to change my belief and when considering the what so ever you do to the least of my people so you do on to him bit in some areas people are killed for not being good enough Christians. To sum it up many Christians in one of the three aforementioned ways is not really much of a christian at all so much as acting a part and wearing the name. Throw in for the bit where Jesus said if someone is killing or stealing from someone and you enable them to do so or do nothing to stop it then you are also guilty of the sin many people paying taxes to governments that sin with such revenues makes just about everyone these days sinners. but to get on point yeah in some place it can be hard to be an atheist but I am willing to bet its harder to be a christian I mean a real christian not the type who just goes to church believes Jesus is the son of God and wears the name. In the ways I mention above many atheist are more Christian than the some of the Christians I know are. Personally I'm an atheist but that does not make me good enough for these hypocrites for I don't flock to their belief structure and they feel they must save me, they can't even save themselves.

On the point you disagree with me on that's fine, I do however see some value in large organizations that are not gangs government or other organizations to help balance the other stuff out there that can be used as devices of evil. Atheist fall short in this area as they are not a large enough group to really have any influence. I feel religion can help people deal with things maybe someday you will understand sometime people just can't deal with their problems and religion has proven useful to helping many of these people get over their problems and assimilate back into society. I feel people should as you say try to find their zest for living and happiness from within but to some this is not always possible I would rather they be happy than not. Self healing happiness and zest for life is always best but if there is another way and you can't find it within yourself why not give religion a try and get back to being a good father mother or whatever you have to be. I personally live with guilt for something I did long ago and will never be forgiven for. It would be nice if I believed in a God who could forgive me because I have yet to forgive myself even though I was young misled and stupid. I see religion do this for some people for some people I think they should live with the guilt for what they have done but for some it would be nice if they could feel some sort of forgiveness for something like what i did to a good friend of mine and wish I could take back that was even their fault their girlfriends fault and my fault for not knowing better. I ruined my friendship mainly because he was stupid she was dishonest and I did not know better he even gave me permission. I wish he would forgive me I wish I could forgive me, I wish i could be forgiven. For some, they would wish god would forgive them, not me but I can see where this could come in handy. I think the strongest reason we need deities is it helps a lot of sociopaths with the moral compass issue so that is actually the strongest reason you know all those people who think you need religion to have morals that's them they need it without it they would be off the hook. Imagine a bunch of people running loose with no god who would think you need God to be a good person. Thanks for sharing your opinion.

Rob's picture
Welcome aboard Lei. Here you

Welcome aboard Lei. Here you can say any you want and people are going to be open minded about it. As long as you try to use logic, you should fit right in with this community.

Rosemary Lei's picture
Thanks! :) I am looking

Thanks! :) I am looking forward to engaging in conversations/debates with this community :)

Trevor's picture
Nice post rosemary and

Nice post rosemary and welcome to the forums!

gardenerclematis's picture
Hello Rosemary

Hello Rosemary
You certainly are ahead of where I was at fifteen. Congratulations on letting your intellect guide your reasoning. Family.........so often the challenge. It really is a delicate balancing act when they are believing in things that make no sense, but on the other hand you love them and want their love in return. Consequently, so many atheists are closet atheists. I have comforted myself with controlling what I can and being generally non-confrontational ( I understand those that can't be satisfied with this). On the other hand, when it came my turn to be a parent, I first made sure that I married someone that believed as I did, and that we raised our child as an atheist. What one gives to their child is always a great gift, and one of my greatest gifts to my child was to raise her with non-religious beliefs or affiliations. This did get a little tricky with grand parents and aunts, but in general they were non-interfering. Best of luck with the challenges ahead and carrying forward with your own personal outlook on life.

Tor Hershman's picture
When I was five, my much

When I was five, my much beloved father died.
The Grownups told me that "God needed your father in heaven."
Now.....I thought, 'All-powerful God needs my father MORE than I do!?!?!?"
This is what sent me on my quest toward the Satanless/Godless fact.

Of course, it took me forty years to get there.

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