Hi, I'm new here, a 63 year old woman who has always lived in the same southeastern US state, where there is a LOT of religion.
I became atheist when I was about 13 years old and realized that the religion I had been brought up in and believed in didn't make any sense when I looked at the world around me and how my life was going. I stayed atheist until I was about 50 and started wondering if I was missing something and started attending church at various places. I had hit a very rough patch in my life and I wanted something to believe in. I tried hard, and several times I thought maybe God was talking to me. So I became as religious as I could be. It slowly faded away, though. That world again, with both beauty and ugliness, and the fact that I had an anxiety attack while performing altar guild duties in a church sanctuary. No more incidents of God maybe taking to me either.
This past November, I moved to a mid-sized city a little farther south in the same state. This is the most religious place I have ever lived. I hear several references to God and the Bible every day, in such diverse and unchurchly places as the locker room at the pool I swim in, a grocery store checkout line, and a game session at a community center. It's on the local TV news too. I've gotten involved in social groups and I get asked what church I go to. In fact, I did attend a church for a while here (which is my answer when I'm asked what church I go to); I'd like to fit in with the local culture. But when I realized I wasn't willing to give any significant amount of money to the church, whereas I used to be able to before that anxiety attack, I realized I had to face what I was and am--an atheist.
There's a local freethought group, and I attended one of the meetings, but can't go to most of them because they're at night and my vision isn't up to night driving any more. Maybe I'll take a cab if necessary to be able to be with people who don't believe they have a close relationship with an invisible being!
Anybody else in this situation?
Anna
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