Uncomfortable Discussions

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CyberLN's picture
Uncomfortable Discussions

It's been my experience that many folks, in casual conversation, are tentative about discussing religion and it effects. I know I am at times, particularly with people I don't know well...for obvious reasons.

But it's been my experience that folks who believe in god(s) but are luke warm about it are far more uncomfortable discussing it than I am, and far more uncomfortable than fundies.

Perhaps they just don't want their world shaken up by having to pay attention to the doubt they have managed to keep at bay. Perhaps they think it's impolite to discuss religion. Religion commonly has that free pass from scrutiny in the marketplace of ideas!

I don't really want to spend a ton of energy debating with fundies. They are far to entrenched in their belief systems (although it can be entertaining at times). I do want to talk with the luke warm folks tho. It's where reason and logic actually have a chance to work. I want them to deconvert. I want to help them do so.

Does anyone have techniques they can share for approaching the subject in a non-threatening way that assuages their discomfort so a discussion can ensue?

I've also found this same discomfort in folks when the subject of feminism or LGBT rights comes up.

We have real problems to solve. These are things that are a big deal. And too many people shy away from talking about them in casual settings. We talk about them in formal debates, and in books, and on forums like this, but we don't typically just chat about this stuff over a beer at the pub with folks who don't already agree with us.

How do we reach out to the peeps who have the potential to become 'enlightened' without scaring them off? How do we acknowledge their discomfort without saying something that would shut them down? How do we plant more seeds? What words have you used? What approaches have you taken? Do you just wait for them to come to you with questions?

I get that there are a lot of t-shirt sizes with this, but it's handy to have them all so we can pull out the one that fits when we need it.

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Zaphod's picture
Cyber I know what you mean, I

Cyber I know what you mean, I am quite outspoken and discomfort is something I am quite familiar with. In my building there are many Muslims for example they all liked me at one point or another though Allah comes up and of course so does my non-belief I try to be respectful but conversations usually lead to questions being asked and of course responses often in the forms of questions generated from my non-belief mindset. It's funny one who had been speaking with me for over a month every day suddenly developed a case of Alzheimer's and was taken back to a time before he could speak English from there on out he could only speak Arabic, whatever water under the bridge more concerning to me is when one who seemingly was a very nice guy told me he was a Muslim but then told me there were to many religions in the world, I nicely offered a solution which could start with him, was the last time we spoke. and like you I have encountered the problem with people in the building belonging to the GBLT category. I said to them I don't understand why gay people would want to get married in a institution that has persecuted them for many many years. they used to invite me out all the time but not anymore. I gather from all this I am too insensitive or they are too sensitive either way we don't mesh well. All said I have plenty of friends who are gay and Muslim if i ever learn to keep my opinions to my self I may be able to keep them, but that said if they won't like me and understand me for who I am are they really my friends anyways? I'll just keep on keeping on asking and saying whatever ever comes into my head. Occasionally I will find people who will debate with me regardless of their position and still be able to talk with them in the future. But I guess here, things are tough enough and people don't want anymore difficulty than they already endure on a regular basis especially not when it involves their neighbors.

On a side note: should I worry about the guy who says he is Muslim but thinks there are to many religions in the world. He also seemed relieved to know I believed in something though I did not believe in God, I let him have that, its I think one of those cases of a person thinking one can't have morals if they are an atheist perhaps he is just worried about me but people worrying about me makes me worried.

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