Once I took a class called "Spiritual Development" in my university. I'm aware of the fact that the class will discuss mainly about religion and how they affect our lives. And as an atheist, I knew somehow I will not be accepted in the class, but it was a mandatory class so I had to fit in.
As the first week of the class started, I made a promise to myself not to be concerned in any conversation or debates that might lead the entire class to knowing that I am an atheist. I know it wasn't the bravest plan I could ever think of, but if only you could imagine sitting in a classroom full of people who couldn't stop declaring how great each of their religion is, you'd wish you could drop the class already.
But hey I made a friend, he warmly introduced himself as an atheist too, and I couldn't be more relieved to hear that. He was a kind of person that would not need your permission in order to sit next to you to talk about things, which in this case, atheism. So while the entire class were discussing the importance of having religions, me and my friend discussed the benefits of not owning any of them. It was all going so well, until the lecturer told us what we needed to do on final project.
As a final project of the class, we were told to form groups divided by respective religions, each group will then conduct a short presentation discussing the basic knowledge about their religion, followed by an open debate with other classes. And since there are only 5 religions accepted in our country (Indonesia), there are only 5 groups expected: Islam, Christian (Protestantism), Catholic, Hindu, and Buddhism.
By the time the groups were already formed after the announcement, my friend freaked out. He then left his chair beside me, then ran to Christian group and requested to join them. My friend, who expressed himself as an agnostic rather than atheist, left behind all his ideas and pride of being faithless for the sake of his grade in the class. We Indonesians like to call this action as an act of "licking his own spit".
For a second I thought of joining the group too, but then I left Christianity for almost 4 years now, and there's no way I'm going back just because I want an A. So by the time the lecturer saw me sitting alone groupless, the whole class finally reveals that I don't belong in any religion, and I remember being intimidated by their small talks. The lecturer didn't say much, she smiled and said "Well if you really are godless, I believe you must have your own reasons, put it on along with presentation like every group, then perform alone in front of your friends.". I approved.
So when all the groups have performed, I was the last and I finally stood up debating almost a hundred of people in a small hall of my university. The crowd was more crowded when throwing questions against me than every other groups as I remember. Overall it was a good debate, unfortunately most topics must ended by them saying "I have faith in it" everytime I request the proof of existance. The crowd was even more crowded when I challenged them that I will join any of their religion if they have an adequate evidence of the existance of their Gods. At the end of the day the debate had to be stopped because it has exceeded the time limit.
I got C minus on the next day, while my friend and the entire members of his group got A because I reckon the lecturer was a Christian as well. I'm totally okay with it, I stood my ground and I did my best and I'm proud of it. That's about how I summed up what I learned in that class.
But things aren't the same with my friend again. He rarely, nearly never talk to me again. Even when he does, it was never about him as an atheist. And I don't know what to do. He was a good friend I could just forgive him and pretend nothing has happened, or I can just be evil and tell everybody how he treated me. Right in this moment if you guys are on my position, what would you do?
I appreciate if any of you read it, and sorry for bad grammars, after all I'm not a native speaker. Thanks and have a good day.
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Your writing read fine. Your friend is what I know to be called a fair-weather friend, being your friend when it is convenient or advantageous to be so and not what I would call a real friend, he is more like a traitorous liar. He uses or at least has used you. You could use him back, but this won't make you a better person. Sorry about your grade. You deserved better than a c minus. But there were some valuable lessons to learn from your story. For example probably the most valuable being that he was not really your friend but there were other lessons to learn there like the advantages of playing along versus standing on your own and always being aware whose opinion counts.
If I were you and this will seem cold but its what I would do anyways. I would let him know how you feel about what was done and say "I believe in being there for and with your friends and I'm are sorry but to put it simply I can't trust you to be there for me as I would have been there for you as a true friend and would rather not waste my time with you. I thought we were friends once but now we are nothing more than awkward acquaintances. Sorry, but being around you makes me feel uneasy and long for something I no longer have faith in there being between us and that is not how I would prefer to feel."
In the end the best thing you can do is just walk away and forget about the whole thing. This is not a friend worth keeping around anyways. You have to forget about the guy and make sure you get better friends. You can tell what kind of people you are dealing with after a while.
Friends come and go and you can't rely on most people in general. You will always see the few friends you really have will emerge when things get tough. Those who are just friends of yours when everything is great are not your friends at all. They are just people to party with.
Your friend was just afraid. You had more courage so I give you an A. He is still afraid.
That is the problem with living in a non-secular country. Your friend has good reason to be afraid but you can continue to stand out. There are probably others that will want to join your position and some will be better friends.
Good luck!
With what Dan Dare says here, I would like to ad this, those who live in fear are not really living.
Like you, I think that the teacher was biased and gave you a lower grade because of your views; you earned an A in my book, especially since your presentation prompted the most discussion-I mean, isn't that what these kinds of projects are for?
And about that "friend" of yours...try to take the higher ground instead of taking revenge. Better yet, forget about the whole thing and stick with your true friends.
By the way, your English is really good! I couldn't even imagine typing all of that out in French (I studied it in high school). Good luck!
I really like the way this response was worded. Yes her English is really good, the higher ground best route to go and she surely deserved and A for all the discussion it brought about. The teacher was most likely biased and her class probably learned more than she did that day assuming they were to some degree open-minded.
I certainly hope so! Or maybe now they'll at least respect her opinions or those of other non religious people, on the matter. I just find it ironic that the teacher, who should've been the most unbiased person considering the purpose of this project, turned out to be the most narrow-minded. Oh well, you can't win them all over.