Good morning all,
I have a topic I hope could be interesting. I am the parent of an adventurous two year old boy. As he grows older my fears grow everyday. I am trying to learn how to control these fears...But somehow I always wonder what this boy will think of me when he is older and will he make something of himself? Will I be a failure?
Ya know I always hope that I am raising him to be an upstanding member of society..But as I see other parents try their hardest and somehow still raise a narcissistic, rebellious, assholish, and sometimes criminal child...I just wonder if I am doing everything right.
So my fellow atheist parents (or those who have seen others raise children)....what is/was your experience like raising a child..How did you let him/her learn about all religions and still try to show him reason and logic? Did you go along with him/her to any religious services just to learn? Did any of your children turn out to be religious nutjobs and how did you cope with that? What are tips to remember as I go through the difficult years? How do you ensure he/she doesn't turn into an asshole? And finally feel free to express your own fears of parenting.
LOL I know most of these questions don't have concrete answers. I guess I'm just looking for some parenting inspiration as I am a young mother with many years of parenting to go. How to raise logical and reasonable children in a world bombarded with religion?
"I take pride in knowing that my son will be one more person that understands the value of treating others with kindness without the ulterior motive of a plush afterlife."
- Shanon Nebo
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Can't say I ever gave it any serious thought. My sons are 23 and 18. Both are rank atheists and tolerate apologists at the edges of respect. Their mother is one. She feels her sensitivity about her belief is tread upon by her own family so we're careful to speak as atheists only in her absence. Truth be told, she remains silent about her belief lest she become just another tolerated person in her own home. Charity keeps us mutually tolerant of each other.
Regarding your son, yours is a wait and see game right now. He may turn out to be a stoic atheist and free-loading deadbeat whereas as an ardent theist and productive member of society might be a better fate. Atheism is not the road to riches. It's just a perspective that alienates theism.
The fear I might have regarding the atheism my sons are usually careful to shelter arises when I think of the doors that might close to them by an open atheist declaration should they let their guards down. There are countless numbers of employers, or people who have the power to hire and fire workers, who allow their religious beliefs to play a role between the workplace and applicants for jobs. This is a scary thought.
I had a subordinate who was charged with the task of interviewing candidates for a vacant position. I found out much later that he was grilling them about their religious convictions and openly stating that "we" (the company) was god fearing. I considered this behavior wholly inappropriate and removed him from the task. He is the kind of person I infer from your post that you are afraid your son may turn out to be. One can't tell about things like that. I'd say ensure that you reinforce your views with him and double-down on it when he brings home the fanciful delusional doctrine from outside influences.
@julesann2614.....
When they ask questions....... tell them the truth....
Teach them how to think....never what to think......
Give them the tools for life......then trust them to use them....
Show them the power of questions ....... and the strength that comes with knowledge
Allow them to explore for them selves....... allow them to rebel against your views...(its natural)
These are the things my parents passed on to me...from their parents....
It worked for myself and my sister.....for my daughters and my step son ....
Julesann2614, I raised four people (mostly as a single parent) and had no god to give them. You'll not need one. My kids are now ranging in age from 34 to 43. They are also all pretty wonderful people that I'm happy to have in my life. That all being said, they were each, in their own way, complete butt heads at some point or another, mostly when they were teens. The thing I'd advise you to always remember is that just because he (or you) makes a mistake, it doesn't mean he (or you) IS a mistake. Hold him with an open hand, forgive him and yourself for those mistakes. Oh! And there will be mistakes! Plenty of them. But they are just mistakes. Don't let the little times with him fly away because you're too focused on worry.
Thank you all for the sincere replies! Raising a child I am learning is not an exact science. I am fearful for the hard years but will try to remember all of your advice. His fathers side of the family (other than his father-who is an atheist as well) are all devoted Jehovah's Witnesses. They have been a very difficult family to try to blend with and have been quite invasive in my son's life. Trying to raise him with love for that side of the family without alienating him from them...but also trying not to let them suck him in I know will be difficult. Thank you for the advice!
I hope my children aren't stupid. That does not mean "non-religious." They are being exposed to all sorts of religions and if they are like me, they may even try a few of them out. I hope they will be able to engage any faith with critical analysis. If you are going to be religious, at least make it a conscious choice.