Coping with the death of a friend

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Mythlover's picture
Coping with the death of a friend

I haven't posted anything in a long time. Honestly, I have been busy with life and found a group of people who I felt comfortable with for the past few years. However, recently one of my friends died. He and I went to high school together and were very close, so close that he decided to come to the same college as me.

I was fully expecting to have him in my life until we were both older than dirt. Over winter break, however, he died and I have been having trouble dealing with it. Most of my other friends are religious to some degree, and expect they will see him again. I keep feeling like he is going to text me and want to hang out again, and I haven't fully accepted that he will never again do so.

I have never had anyone this emotionally close to me die before and I am wondering how others have dealt with this experience.

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Nyarlathotep's picture
I want to say something, but

I want to say something, but I don't know what to say. I just I'm just saying I read your post and I sympathize with you.

algebe's picture
Hello Mythlover

Hello Mythlover

My mother died a few months ago, so I can relate to how you're feeling. Grief is a hard feeling to cope with you. In my case it's also tinged with guilt, because I wonder if I could have done anything more to ease her final years. One of the emotions I felt was relief, because I knew that she'd never suffer again. I can also look inside myself and know that part of her lives on in me. I'm also happy that she lived long enough to know her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Your friend is still with you through the ways that your friendship changed your life, and through your memories. You can also feel proud that your friendship brought joy to your friend's life. Your task now is to honor your friend's memory by living your life to the full. Make what you learned from your friendship the foundation for new friendships. Grief is part of the human condition. It's hard, but when you go through the process and come out the other side, you'll be stronger and better than before.

chimp3's picture
If you love someone they are

If you love someone they are worth grieving for.

ThePragmatic's picture
Living in reality is a bitch:

Living in reality is a bitch. There is no way to suger-coat it: People who die are gone, and there is nothing that can be done about it. There is no pretending that we all see each other in happy-never-after-land-with-Scarlet-Johanson-and-Johnny-Depp-heaven forever and ever.

But how you cope with it, is within your head and nowhere else.
Would that person want you to feel miserable and mourn for the rest of your life? Or would that person want you to carry on and embrace life in search of happiness?

Pitar's picture
Be careful to care for

Be careful to care for yourself as you recover from his loss. Be good to yourself first and foremost and look for the good times ahead of you.

BAACKJD's picture
The cold hard fact is that

The cold hard fact is that time is the only real remedy to this sort of thing. That, being with other loved ones.

This sort of experience is why we as atheists often value life more than anyone. We know it won't last forever, so we must enjoy each other while we can.

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
I'm sorry for your loss. That

I'm sorry for your loss. That's rough. Opening up and talking about it is a good thing to do while grieving though. I wish you well.

ImFree's picture
Sorry to hear of your loss.

Sorry to hear of your loss. Cherish all the good memories you shared with your friend and reference those memories as a positive way to look at life in the future. All the best to you : )

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