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Bringing you atheist articles and building active godless communities takes hundreds of hours and resources each month. If you find any joy or stimulation at Atheist Republic, please consider becoming a Supporting Member with a recurring monthly donation of your choosing, between a cup of tea and a good dinner.
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@LittlePanda I've got a better idea: play the Western movie clip from Home Alone very loudly to scare them off, like the kid used it to scare of the robbers. ;)
The last time I saw the missionaries I was checking my mail. One asked if they could share a message with me. I said "Sure, as long as it isn't about Jesus" and one of them said "It is, our message IS about Jesus". So I said "In that case, no" and walked back to my door.
I buzzed up two old Italian women in an apartment I was staying in near Turin. Because of the language barrier I thought it was a tenant that had forgot their keys.
Opening the door half naked from getting out of the shower and speaking to them in English must have convinced them that I could get away with just a leaflet.
They did leave with a smile on their faces though.
usually they say "we have found God "
Reply : "excellent, if no one reported him lost you can keep him"
Well... here we can't do any of those, as the can march a mob to our door and just incarcerate us without any evidence, just claiming that we were blasphemous, so yeah... I just smile and tell them that I'm really busy right now, I have something on the stove or some project that I'm working on, and I'd definitely be seeing them after the very next prayer of the day at their mosque(in your case church), afterwards I tell them that I got stuck, or I was there, they just didn't notice me.
That ought ta keep em off my back annnd keep me out of trouble, TBH I was born and raised a muslim, and haven't seen a mosque in years.
You should write a letter to the church headquarters denouncing the faith (they're in Utah, United States, so you don't have to worry about anyone near you catching wind through your area's local chapter) and request they remove you permanently from the Rolls. In your letter, make sure to request they not ever send missionaries to your home again. You can say that you chose a different religion if you're afraid of the local bishop creating problems... But once you are taken off the rolls, you shouldn't ever have to worry (even if you move to a new community).
https://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm
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Offer them a beer. I heard it works every time! Good luck! :)
Yes it will; Mormons never drink.
If it's a Muslim or Orthodox Jew, offer them bacon, and if it's a Hindu, offer them steak.
Do not react to anything they say.When the opportunity arises after their intro just politely say "Not for me thank-you,goodbye" and step back from the door to close it. If they continue with more spiel just Repeat "Thank-you" and continue to close the door. Should they return another day,warn them of their harassment,politely wish them good day and close the door. Other than that,grin and tell them to Fuck right off. Above all DO NOT get engaged in a conversation,they will tie you in knots.
Why do we need to be polite. Feel free to tell them that they are delusional and slam the door
My modus operandi is to use them as practice. If I have time I will engage them fully until they exit stage left. It is so rare that I get to have a full throttle religious debate with a committed adherent, so I'm not going to pass up the chance to interview the ones that intentionally show up at my front door.
"How do you make missionaries go away without being rude?"
Where's the fun in that?
Why not suggest that they try a different position?
Hahaha! One of the best answers I've seen yet!!
@Algebe Pure gold.
As a former mormon and I have brothers that went on missions. It is very kind of you to choose the nice way to get rid of them. I had the same problem. Call their bishop/branch president and ask them to stop sending them. If that doesn't receive a kind response, offer to work to convert the new missionaries to atheism. Invite them to dinner. It should end.
Watch a show called Mrs Brown's Boys. There is one on the missionaries and Mrs Brown handles them and they cant wait to get away, very funny.
The seeds of doubt were planted early in my life and didn't take hold until late 20's. Maybe save a few missionaries. LOL
Save their minds. Tell them the Problem Of Evil- the question that first sewed the seeds of doubt in my mind, and was one of the first steps in my being a born-again atheist.
Also, dare them to read the entire LDS Buybull from cover to cover this was my last step in deconverting, but in my case it was the NIV Buybull, because I'm an ex-Methodist.
Necromancy at work.
I'm not a fan of being rude either. Most of these people are the old versions of those of us who were once indoctrinated. I've had JW and Mormons at my door. I gave them an opportunity to speak just enough to deliver their thesis statement. After which I decline the offer. People like to be listened to. If they feel like you haven't heard the message, they will keep coming back. The result of my approach has worked for my home. Nowadays we may occasionally come home to a pamphlet at our door, but nothing to complain about.
I was raised Mormon and I've had a similar experience. I find it rude if I have asked someone to leave me alone and they don't. At that point, I don't worry too much about whether I am rude in return. You can simply inform them that if they continue to come by uninvited you'll file a police complaint.
Ask em if a missionary only does it missionary.
http://mama.indstate.edu/users/nizrael/jesusrefutation.html
Anyone heard of trespassing? This is what they do when they knock on your door. They're on private property and without your permission they're trespassing. Post the sign, which I believe must be posted for the law to be effective, and then see what happens. Should they knock on your door, open it, get a digital picture and then thank them for the evidence of their trespassing. File the complaint with your local constabulary (a must do) and repeat as often as necessary to get them to take you seriously enough to engage the church with the offense. Repeated offenses may bring about a blood-thirsty attorney of ill repute (atheist) who files suit just for fun.
My pop kept a couple outside in the cold for an hour while he spoke through the crack in the door. They were frozen stiff by the end of the debate he kept them in.
Just cut your bells and try to pretend you aren't home when you are.When you meet them just explain them to learn philosophy and if they are that good to leave you on your own path as you haven't asked for help,and that is a form of forcing someone to believe what others do which is a crime against the freedom of man.You can take them to court or conslut a judge in crying situations for future if they don't leave you alone.In here although almost all people are religious they go again to them so they can believe in some other way for some reason but they respond to them with force and verbal violence here when they appear.
When they were coming around, I would open the door, say, "No thank you," and shut the door. The second they think you'll let them in or let them talk, they'll be all over you. :D
Of course, I haven't had anyone knock since I put the Flying Spaghetti Monster and "Satan is my motor" bumper stickers on my car.
I tell them "no thanks", and when they try to say something else I just close the door.
They have to come thru my carport right past my car which has a bumper sticker they can't help seeing which says "Drive carefully, there is no heaven" - works a treat !
You can tell them that you already found god & read the bible. That should reduce the need for them to come to you.
In my case, I'd technically be telling the truth if I said that, because I in fact have read the Wholly Buybull, and that is the main reason why I'm an atheist.
And also, I have "found" God- in the imaginations of the indoctrinated.
Why don't you try to convert them to any deity of your choice, the next time they bother you. I don't know about Mormons, but with Jehovas Witnesses it is allways much fun. They come to discuss god? Well, let the games begin :-)
Just one important thing to keep in mind: Beeing impolite is not the same as beeing unoffending. Actually, beeing polite and logical is very often the best way to offend.
A technical advice: As in every martial art, push them off balance. A way I can recommend: When they want to use some holy book to support their argumentation (most do), have Tolkiens Silmarillion at hand. Ask them, if they are so fond of fantasy tales and take them for real, how they explain the obvious lack of elves and orcs running around... the facial expression is priceless! So much fun for free :-)
Too bad that most of them don't come back afterwards.
Back in 1960, when I was just 10, my grandparents and I visited Salt Lake City. We were from Palmyra, NY, the birthplace of Mormonism. Joseph Smith's farm was just over a drumlin from us, and Hill Cumorah (where the Golden Plates saga supposedly took place) was just down the road a couple of miles. When we got out of our car in SLC, 2 Mormon boys noticed our license plates; at that time you could tell the county someone was from by the plates. They came and asked us what we knew about Mormonism and which town were we from. My grandmother responded that we were from Palmyra, and they began to follow us. My grandmother asked that they leave us alone, but they persisted. Then they asked my grandfather what he knew about Joseph Smith. Big mistake. My grandfather was totally non-religious. He replied, "Well, I knew he was a horse thief!" The Mormon boys departed. Rude of my grandfather, but then again, so was following us. As for me, I don't think Smith was a horse thief; I think that was just prejudice against the religion. But they learned their lesson.
If they ask "Do you want to talk about Jesus?"
Say: "No thank You!" "Thank You" is polite.
If they persist, they are the rude ones. Point that out to them politely.
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