Hi Guys
This is the 1st time I am disclosing to someone that I am an atheist (ex-muslim) born in pakistan. Aged 27, married and also have a kid. My wife even doesn't know about my belief since I decided to leave islam after marriage but I will tell her someday since she isn't much religious. I stalk AR page on facebook daily and always wish to join debate but I can't since I am too scared to let anyone know about my belief.
Thanks
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Welcome to AR, Desi. Stay safe!
@ Desi Mulhid ..
Greetings.... and welcome...
Hi Desi
On twitter, I spoke to a fellow atheist living in a muslim city in the Middle East. The fear to come out as atheist is so valid there. Please don't risk it. His goal was to someday get out. Glad your here. :)
Please be careful
Desi,
I'm so glad you joined us! I hope you are not using your real name. I've joined AR recently too and wrote: "Atheist Parents of Adult Religious Children" by Kafir Mama » Thu, 06/01/2017 in this forum. I have children your age and I wasn't as wise as you are. They were raised as Muslims. You will be giving your child a great gift, the gift of critical thinking by not brainwashing him/her. I hope when you tell your wife, she will join you as an atheist and it will strengthen your marriage. Welcome, Desi you're doing a great thing for your family and humanity!
I hope nothing goes wrong after I expose my belief to my wife. My son is 1 and half years old and I am keeping my wife to not force religious beliefs on him. But I wonder for how long I will be keeping her away? I have to tell her one day and how for how long I will be hiding my belief? May be I can hide my belief from everyone forever but how about my son? How will he grew up in this extreme conservative country? Thats the reason I only think of to leave this country not for me but for my son only and that is still very difficult.
Desi,
You’ve brought up some important points that I think deserve thoughtful answers. I will collect my thoughts and write back tomorrow. In the mean time, I want to say: I think you are approaching this in a very smart way. You are thinking through the consequences, not being rash, and like all good fathers putting your son’s well being before yours.
Desi,
In your comments you brought up: being a secret atheist in Pakistan; you haven’t told your wife yet; you’re worried how she’ll respond; and, the most important, what to do about your son. Here are my thoughts for your consideration:
Atheist in Pakistan: Be safe don’t tell anyone but your wife.
Telling your wife: Ease into it. E.g., you could start the conversation with choosing one distressing part of the Quran (slavery is regulated not condemned, people are tortured for eternity for their beliefs, homosexuals should be killed, etc. The Quran, sadly, is a rich vein of appalling ideas) and then asking her thoughts.
Your son: He’s still young, you have time. First, you need to find out his mother’s thinking. I also responded with some thoughts to your reply in the Atheist Parents of Adult Religious Children forum.
Desi, I think you’ll find a community at AR of people that care about you, but we really know very little about you. I think that anything one of us writes to you, me included, should just be taken in for your consideration, not necessarily enacted. You strike me as an intelligent, analytically, young man that will reach the right decisions.
Yes I am thinking to tell my wife about it very soon. About me, raised in Pakistan by a typical middle class parents. Fortunately my father was a liberal and never too religious. He always rejected the extremist content coming from Hadith and taught us the same. Telling us that Hadith were published at least 250 years after the death of Muhammad so they have no credibility. For Quran, he used to follow an islamic scholar who modifies the translation of extremist verses into something good thus making islam the perfect religion for us. Probably thats the reason I converted to atheism too late.
For rest of my life, Pakistan as well known to everyone full of pedophiles and religious extremists. I was raped by my own cousin multiple times when I was 10 or something and those memories still haunt me. It makes me more sad when now I look at to my son.
For now, I am having good life and working full time as a freelancer at home. I love this job because I hate or might fear going outside.
BTW sorry for my bad english
Desi,
I’m shocked and sad to hear about your rapes as a child. Are you able to access professional counseling where you live?
PS Your English is fine!
I guess the lesser I think about those memories, the more satisfied I get.
Yes, with time I’m sure the bad memories will shrink. I’m glad you’re a father and have a second chance at living in a good family.
Welcome. Be safe. I hear it is pretty dangerous to be an outspoken atheist there.
Welcome! If it helps, there are law firms that can help get you a visa due to religious persecution. The one I worked for, helped Christians, atheists, and Jewish families from Pakistan get here (US). Many immigration judges understand the fear you have. I think only if/when you leave can you be truthful to your wife and son.
I have read this blog and it says that you have to get tortured/imprisoned for being an atheist in order to get asylum.
http://www.atheistrepublic.com/blog/alliejackson/need-asylum-keep-calm-read
Well the truth is, there is 0% chance of survival when a mob storms you for being an atheist. As I said I don't care about myself, I can keep my belief hidden for entire life but it is about my son. I just don't want him to be grew up in this society filled up with extremists and pedophiles (I am telling the truth because I have been victim of it in my childhood)
We are getting some refugees from Afghanistan and Pakistan and I am sorry to say that you have read correctly: being an atheist is not a reason for granting refugee status. I guess being an atheist helps, but it is not enough. The idea is that you can safely live in your country of origin if you shut up and pretend to be a believer.
I do not agree with this ruling, but this is the current situation here. :-(
I guess that all over Europe, the guidelines for accepting refugees are getting more and more stringent all the time. It is not a ban on immigration, but many small changes that make immigration and getting refugee status more difficult.
Welcome to AR Desi Mulhid! I don't have to tell you the dangers to your life if word got out you are an Atheist. Please be safe and keep your Atheism to yourself. Please do join in on the debates at AR.
Hello, Desi Mulhid! I wish you the best and welcome!
Welcome and best wishes Desi.
Internet forums are anonymous and there's no way to verify people's claims or identities, so we naturally take these posts at face value having no reason to disbelieve them when they sound credible.
Speaking of the credible but unverifiable, I happened to read this just before I came here...
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/06/10/muslim-doctors-i...
Perhaps someone from Pakistan might wish to comment?
You are right its very hard to verify people's claim on forums like this. I would have came with real name/identity only if this wasn't atheist forum.
About the news you shared, yes thats true and it is totally normal in a country like pakistan.
It's so good to see non-believers popping up in different areas of the world. Welcome :)
i feel you. i'm a new atheist as well and certainly, i'm not telling my Muslim family about it at all. not until i become financially independent, that is. losing my head would be something rather unpleasant.
Welcome! Be safe. Atheism needs no martyrs.
Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm a new member as well. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be an atheist in that country. If you are using your real name, it would probably be best to change it to a pseudonym. I hope you can get out of there and find a safe place to live with all that is going on there. Best of luck to you and your family.
Yes obviously I am using fake name. Desi means local or native in urdu/hindi and Mulhid means atheist. Also using TOR to remain anonymous. Thanks for the support :)
I admire your bravery Desi, keep doing what you are doing, take it slow and plan each step. I am hopeful that your wife too has thoughts of atheism but was scared to share them for the same reasons as you. Except for women it is even more scary in a muslim country to come out as atheist, as many women in muslim countries face even more control than men do.
Good luck, share your frustrations and experiences on this board, and know there are people sympathetic to your thoughts and rejection of the insanity that is religion.
Thanks for the support :)
Okay, I was not aware that was what your name meant. Thank you for clarifying and stay safe. You are quite brave.
A molested atheist pakistani!!!!! You sound EXACTLY like me.
I hope that you can remain safe. Here is a canadian refugee link that speaks to your troubles. It is horrifying that you must remain hidden in your own home and have to think about leaving your own country in order to live your life free from religious prosecution. http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/refugees/outside/index.asp