Atheist Cosmology

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Cognostic's picture
Atheist Cosmology

Here is a thread for Atheists. The Christians have been inventing and reinventing their creator of the universe god for thousands of years. Now it is our turn. Who or what is your favorite creator god. Is it the flying spaghetti monster, blue universe creating bunny rabbits, turtles all the way down, or Mr. Adam's little white mice? It's your turn now to play the game, CREATE THE CREATOR!

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Talyyn's picture
There is a show for kids

There is a show for kids called Phineas and Ferb, where they possess a platypus who is a secret agent with an hat. He is called Perry.

arakish's picture
Cognostic: "It's your turn

Cognostic: "It's your turn now to play the game, CREATE THE CREATOR!"

Me. Or can't you see this beautiful forest I created in our backyard?

rmfr

Algebe's picture
I like the Maori version.

I like the Maori version. Ranginui (the sky father) and Papatuanuku (the earth mother) were eternally fucking in such a tight embrace that their children were squashed between them in permanent darkness. Eventually Tane the forest god forced them apart with his powerful legs (trees), allowing light into the world.

Grinseed's picture
I recall an exchange between

I recall an exchange between two Maori gods during a dispute between two tribes.
The gods could not decide which tribe to back and one says to the other, something like, "we had better do something or they might stop believing in us".
How very much like the human-like Greek gods they seem, but then there are parallels between the social and political attributes of both cultures.
A case of horses for courses, gods for cultures?

Cognostic's picture
I am utterly convinced that

I am utterly convinced that Kermit the Frog decided to do Miss Piggy. She exploded from the added pressure of the pin prick and the universe was the result.

Rohan M.'s picture
The all-powerful, invisible,

The all-powerful, invisible, unfeelable, unsmellable, and mute unicorn named Billy who created the universe with a magic spell fired from his horn, is my pet, and was my pet even before I existed. How, may you ask, was he able to be my pet even before I existed? Because Billy works in mysterious ways the human mind cannot comprehend. Believe in him without question or after you die, he will gore you with his horn, unleashing a magic spell that will subject every inch of your body to excruciating pain for eternity, until the end of time. But he is still benevolent, and if you do believe in him, he will gently touch you with his horn, causing you to experience a sensation of pleasure that will last forever. Something can't come from nothing, so therefore, Billydidit! Prove that he isn't real... oh wait you can't, therefore he is real.

Rohan M.'s picture
The universe was created by a

The universe was created by a cosmic dodo bird taking a really, really large shit. The reason why the sea level is rising and thus endangering the Netherlands (a flat coastal area) is because he is angry at the Dutch for carelessly eating his earthly incarnations to extinction 400 years ago.

Rohan M.'s picture
Lord Gaben of Valve devoured

Lord Gaben of Valve devoured a massive hamburger made of wallet patties and blue-and-orange onion rings in between 2 buns with the number 3 imprinted on them (which explains why he forgot how to count to three) and then let out a loud, Steam-y fart that exploded into the universe. If you incant this prayer to him (see attached picture), then maybe he'll finally give us Half-Life 3 and a sale where literally everything on Steam costs only $1.00 (USD) that will last forever.

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MarylinC's picture
I like the Maori version of

I like the Maori version of the two gods having sex.

In scientific terms it's called 'The Big Bang Theory'. :)

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