I've got this old Bible that has been sitting on my shelf for years. I never use it any more because everything is now on line. I would hate to just throw it away. What should I do with it. (Before anyone responds to that question, "I already tried and it does not fit. Not even with mayonnaise.)
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Have you tried anal lube?
Take a picture when you stand on it and post on any social media , I did that for the Quran It was good feeling but unfortunately my account get blocked because of the social media rules :(
@Adonis Oh, yeah... "Never offend a Muslim". >:(
There is many muslims who report everything insulting them that's a fact ..
@Adonis Yeah, they're cowards and bullies who will everything in their power to silence anyone who finds their religion disgusting, shut down debate, and maintain their global echo-chamber so that they can continue to lie through their teeth to win over the Left.
But don't let that stop you, brother; if you see some of them say "time to take you down you disrespectful infidel pig" (or something like that), then take a screenshot as evidence and show it to the people who run whatever site you're on.
get a bird and use the pages to cover the bottom of the cage.
Tear the pages out, print the AR logo on each, stand on the street corner, hand them out, and PREACH BROTHER, PREACH!
@Cyber:
I like it. AR with the link. Then something like - "Don't worry, No One Is Watching."
Spread the word of The Lord, Brother Cog! Go to the top of a tall skyscraper and tear out each page individually and set them free into the wind. No telling how many lives you could change. The Lord works in mysterious ways!
Either that, or you could try surgical rib-spreaders and a can of silicon spray for your original idea.
Oh! Hey, if you have a garden, you could run the book through a shredder and then mix it in with your compost. You could call it Miracle Grow.... *look of realization*... Oh, wait... Pretty sure that name may already be trademarked. Hmmm.... How about "Divine Dirt"?... Perhaps "Holy Fertilizer"?... "Sacred Soil"?... "Potting Psalms"....
@Tin
If he uses manure in his compost, he can call it Holy Shit...
@Terraphon: Or roll your favorite leaf, weed or plant product up in a page and Holy Smoke it.
WAIT! WAIT! THIS IS FUN!
1. Shove it up a cow's ass --------- "Holey Cow" Moohammad the "Holy Cow."
2. Rip out the pages and use paper mache to make a Halloween Mask ---- "Holy Terror"
3. Shotgun the nativity scene then and it to plug the holes ------------ Holy Mother of God
4. Line your bedsheets with it ........................ "Holy Fuck"
5. Rip it into small pieces and eat it. Wait 3 days. .................. "Holy Shit"
6. Kill a lamb, dip it in the blood, and use it for fish bait.......... "Holy Mackerel."
7. Use it for a band-aid after during birthmark removal ---------------- "Holey Moley"
8. Use a hole punch to put 50 holes in every page --------------- Holy of Holies"
Just use it as kindling. :)
Holy Smoke!
All very good suggestions. You can do like I did with mine and donate them to a church. Then you CAN be assured they will touch someone's life.
rmfr
@arakish: "Holy Tintinnabulation!" What a great idea. Or ...... "Holy Transubstantiation."
Donate it to that heathen island in memory of Johnny Chau!
Ah-hah! Go into your local Adult Book Store and leave it on a shelf between a bunch of Hustler and Penthouse magazines!
Tin-Man: "Holy Fuck"
https://youtu.be/LhrYHh_SEKU
Stand on street corner and quote bible versus.
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@R F You could make a Holy Fortune off of that!
If you get a hole in the bottom of your shoe, tear out a few pages of your bible and put them in your shoe to cover the hole. It could help save your sole!
It'd finally for a change be saving something of yours that is actually real :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6VICC1K8so
Worm composting. Then again.. since reading the babble is the number one way to disbelieve... hand that sucker off to a young nonbeliever.
That is what was my tipping point. I decided to read it from cover to cover. It was painful.
@David Same here!
chimp3: "Worm composting."
Holy Squigglers, Batman!
rmfr
Get a cookie cutter and cut the pages into little round wafers. Serve it to the Christians at their next communion.
Rip out the pages. Mix together some flour and water. Make a paper mache Satan.
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