I cannot breath I am crying so hard right now. I feel the more suicidal than ever before. The amount of pain in my heart is choking me. My mother just slapped me extremely hard and screamed at me so loud I'm sure the neighbors could hear after I calmy told her my beliefs. I lost so much respect and love for her in less than two minutes. She did this in front of her best friend and in front of my little brother.
Can someone please comfort me. I really could use any support at all right now. Thank you.
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First off, if it left marks you need to take pictures (you never know when they might be useful).
As far as emotion support, I'm probably not the best source, but I'll offer this. According to your profile you are 16 years old. That means you are probably in a situation where you are dependent on your parent(s). While this constitutes a pretty serious problem, it is only a temporary problem. Suicide is kind of a permanent "solution" (and I think many might argue it isn't a real solution) and seems rather drastic for a temporary problem. If you live in the United States there are confidential suicide hotlines you can call if you are feeling overwhelmed. I found this one online but i'm sure there are others: 1-800-273-TALK. We really enjoy your posts here (I really liked your "Stupid things religious people say") and we hope to continue to receive them.
As far as contacting the authorities, we can't really tell you what to do, even if we knew all the details of your situation. Involving the law can make these situations even messier and lead to undesirable outcomes so you will have to make this decision for yourself. However; if you feel you are in danger, you should contact them no matter what.
Thank you so much. I am feeling a bit better now, but I will keep the hotline in mind if I feel I need it.
Whenever you confront someone about their belief system, you'll get hate in return.
That's just the way things are.
Rest assured that there are people who sympathize with you as well as appreciate you.
Keep a stiff upper lip and remember that you can always contact us here on this site.
You are one of us.
Thank you :) it means a lot.
Hey Sloth! I just signed up on this site like 5 mins ago, Coz I`ve been also seeking support for my own self. Belonged to an extremely conservative & rich Islamic family, my own parents out casted me when they somehow figured out about my Atheistic views. Even I never declared that in front of em. And now I am receiving death threats, my life is at stake & I live in a place where I cant even express my views... -_- but I am still holding to my own vision since I don,t feel like living a life I don,t feel fit in...I do feel like an odd one out very often who doesn,t belong to anywhere & to anyone...
I cant tell you how much overwhelming pressure is that & no doubt it takes you quite closer to the suicidal thoughts to get rid of all this pressure...
But I must tell you! We people, we got only single life... & its in our hand we either live it our way or we surrender ourselves to depression & failure & just let it take all our peace of mind away. And the best way to conquer your pressure, find & talk with the people with the same vision.
You are still 16, but brave enough to speak up your thoughts... than believe me you are stronger than most of the people I`ve met in my life... :)
So worry not my dear!!! You are not alone... even if your wont try to understand you, but we people, we are here for you... :) don,t consider us less than your own family... :) Coz we are the people who share the same vision & wisdom... :)
And sometimes it gets more important than a blood relation... :) Feel free to share & talk anytime with anyone :) just don,t put yourself into an isolation since its not very helpful.
Smile & prosper... :) we all are in this together for each other !!! :)
Thank you so much!!:) I wish the very best for you!
A lot of the time people feel scared, and often turn to faith, or some way to convince themselves they are secure for the time which they have no control over. When confronted with another belief that is way off from what they have learned most of their life they just flip a lid.
When I was going through something similar with my family, I pointed out at one point that I loved them, and no matter how different my ideas were, I would always love them. I asked if they had loved me for each year of my life and if had ever changed throughout then. Ultimately I told them I've been the same person all my life and if they loved me before then they could love that part of me that was always me and look past all the ideologies that surrounded us. It took a long time though. With people you really just gotta be firm and sensitive to them and hope one day they will look at the big picture one day.
I know how crushing that might sound... However comes to religion people become downright scary and frustrating. Keep on Keepin on! Your not alone ! As long as you keep reaching out and trying, no one can say you didn't and you become stronger.
Also pictures relating to first post is good idea.
Very good points, thank you :)
Sloth, sweetheart, sending many hugs and much love to you. I'll be your cyber-ma. Hang in there, darlin. The world is so much better off with you in it.
<3 thank you so much
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I don't know why my comment went blank lol, but I said thank you so much:)
Hi Sloth. I am sure that your mother slapping you was out of pain, she felt she had failed. Self recrimination drives us to the most hurtful things.
Another persons beliefs are theirs to have and to exercise at.
This will make you stronger
I agree. And hopefully
Hi Sloth, don't worry your mother will get over it eventually.
"She did this in front of her best friend and in front of my little brother."
Did you tell her this in front of her friend?
Mothers view their children as the love of their life and pride themselves as giving them the best upbringing.
In her eyes, you were possessed by the devil, an evil force that tries to send you to hell.
But worse then that, this demon presented himself when her christian friend (that talks too much) was there.
Woman then to be more sentimental and passionate, thus it comes natural that the shock of your confession in-front of her friend was too much for her to handle and lost her nerve.
My mom does the same when I completely crush her in an argument on her faith.
She gets really pissed if I say something when her friends are there.
She looses control, my mom is a panic station type of person, so I think I understand a bit what your mom felt if you told her in front of her friend the first time.
Those things have to be done alone and in a room where things aren't easily broken.
I see what you mean :) I've definitely learned my lesson to keep conversations that might cause outbursts between just my mom and I when she is relaxed.
You should never consider suicide, it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I too grew up with hateful, ignorant, abusive parents. They were awful to me and I hated them. They were adoptive parents, 'good Christians', and they let their biological adult son abuse me in various ways. Though it may seem like it takes forever, one day you will turn 18 and you will be free to do whatever you please. Life is beautiful and wonderful, and it is fun to grow and discover who you are. They can't keep you down forever. Everything will be alright, just keep your head down and remember my words and those of these other caring people. There are many good people in the world, don't let anyone make you bitter. Stay strong. The only kind of faith you need is faith in yourself!
Thank you :) <3
It can be very hard to stay positive when you are in such a poor situation. What I do to stay positive is I think about the future. We have many roads ahead of us every day and if you know where you're going you can get there. Anything you want to be (within reason, I'd love to be a dragon but I'm not sure about that happening) is within your grasp. Being alive gives you this great opportunity to change the world, and no matter how poor of a situation you are in, you are always significant.
Every experience adds to your personality, and when you know that you can only change for the better!
You have an excellent point :) thank you
I’ve read this post several times and I talked myself out of responding. You’re an intelligent young lady in a tough situation. On one hand I hate to feel I’m interfering with your upbringing, but on the other hand I feel indoctrinating young people is child abuse. Anyway, I hope you continue to have the courage to not be forced into submission. I hope that between now and when you’re old enough to leave home the pressure is reduced. You know in your heart after examining science-backed evidence what is true. The next few years (until you leave home) will be a challenge. I wish you the best as you find your way. Difficult times can make you stronger later from the experience. Hang in there, things will eventually get better.
Thank you!:)
Like Shoaib I have just signed on to this site and I was heartbroken to read your post. Everyone has thoughtful responses and advice. Music saved my son when his father flogged us daily with his religious beliefs, his intolerance and his single-mindedness. I gave my son a guitar, a place to escape. He is now a successful musician. Look inside yourself for solace. Take up guitar and it will take you away.
:) I have definitely considered learning an instrument and even writing songs. Right now writing in general and poetry is my escape.
One more thing, I didn’t want to say this but I think you need something to make her think twice before hitting you again. If things start getting out of hand again and you fear her striking you, just mentioning to her that you have the option to call Child Protective Services should be enough of a warning to make her think twice. Hopefully it will never come to that.
You might like to read Janis Ian's biography "Society's Child", visit her website and listen to her music. She is an amazing songwriter. She wrote "Society's Child" when she was 15. Do you have an adult in your life that you can trust? A teacher, a relative, a neighbor? When I was about your age I had the crazy lady on the corner with all the cats. Be careful about mentioning CPS to your mother, she may take that as a threat and there are so many other ways she can punish you. You do not want to loose your internet privileges. Later.
Just curious Sloth, how have things come along since this incident? How are you and your mother getting along now?
I really like what Jeff had to say above, and on that note about things that are easily broken definitely don't have such conversations with your mom while she is doing things like cooking or washing dishes, its much better to be with with an open hand than a searing hot pot or pan, or to have to dodge utensils or dinnerware. That smack proves she got it in her tread carefully.
I also like the advice of the music as a way to escape I like that your doing poetry it gives you a way to express yourself, if not to your mom, but to others or even just yourself it givers you a way to get your pent up emotions out and expressed many art forms work for this.
Hi there! My name is Rebekah. I'm 17, I'm from Ohio. My parents are oneness pentecostal. They are very strict. I had decided to not tell them beliefs due to I'm so afraid of the same situation. I am terrified to get kicked out. I know the fear you must have right now. And I don't know your situation, or your parents or anything going on as of now. But I do know how you must feel. And I sympathize with you greatly. Hang in there, only a little longer until you can leave. *hug* Everything is going to be okay. If you need someone to talk to you I'm here for you.
Ive tried suicide twice i understand how you can feel theres no option but there is i take anti depressants and while im often miserable im not thinking of hurting myself.
Theres a remote possibility shocking your family by asking to see a shrink about your depression will remind them how much they love you and they do they are in shock they just found out their daughter is evil. Theyve been told that atheists are everything bad probably blame us for global warming :).
You could show them the atheist faq on quora it explains alot and its damn good.
Above all remind them your still you you just dont believe anymore nothing else has changed.