The crucifixion of jesus is really stupid as god sends himself down to redeem the sins of humans by making them torture and execute him while they deny him as the son of god. if someone committed a crime against me I wouldn't give them my son to murder thinking that it would make it better.
what other stupid thing in the bible do you know?
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Pretty much the whole story of Noah's Ark:
Noah creates an ark smaller than a football field in wich he fits two of every species of animals in the world,the boat has only one window,there was no light,the animals and humans don't need to eat or poo(there was no ventilation system so they would have got asphixiated),the wather covers every spot of land so the ark couldn't have stayed in one piece because of the huge waves,God decides to kill everything that is not aboard the ark and the only way to keep this species from dissapearing is to reproduce when they get on land but he decides to make the fishes and sea mamels magically reapear(the salt level would have been so high no fish or sea mamel could have survived),when they do get in dry place all the animals returned to their origin country,Noah's familly repopulates the earth and there is no evidente found to sustain this tale.
God said: I'll drown the whole world and start over with a 900 year old guy and his family of 8. Once the ark landed, I told them: Start having sex with each other even though you are all related; I am the god of love and incest.
The Noah story is simply a war story that's written in an entertaining way. For some reason people take it literally. Remember, the Garden of Eden was just down the road from Persia, Arabia, Assyria, and Ethiopia. That's where Adam & Eve were. In the Noah flood story those places are still there. Nimrod, Noah's great grandson, ruled Babel and went to Assyria and built Nineveh. So those countries were in existence when Adam & Eve were running around naked and they were in existence after the flood and didn't even get a water puddle.
The Noah story uses metaphors for war and peace, like raven, dove, olive branch, etc. The story simply tells about an invasion in the area from some foreign troops who swept over destroying everything in their way. Think of the Mongols for an example.
Anyway, for the flood to work it means over 6 inches of rain per minute for 960 hours straight. And that's just for starters. Imagine the noise and the suffocation.
Of all of the biblical stories the Noah story is the most persistent zombie. It refuses to die.
"all the animals returned to their origin country"
That's one of the weirdest parts of the whole fantasy. Maybe the monkeys, giraffes, elephants could have walked back to Africa from Turkey, but how did the kangaroo get back to Australia, the kiwi to New Zealand, the armadillo to South America, and the penguins to Antarctica? Ask a bible literalist and they'll spout some nonsense about temporary land bridges across the oceans.
Either the kangaroos swam, flew or dug there way home
Jesus ascending into the heavens:
"Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, who also said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven.”
So , heaven is directly above Jerusalem? If you drown in the South Pacific Ocean between New Zealand and South America you will have to go down, through the earth, and resurface in Jerusalem to get there. Written by first century men with a first century understanding of the cosmos and global topography. The sky had a ceiling (canopy) from which the stars were hung like light bulbs. On the other side is heaven. This nonsense has been adapted by believers now that we have images from the Hubble Space Telescope. Taking black and white images of nebula and colorizing them to make it look like an eyeball. The eye is also blue. Link to image:
http://www.skyimagelab.com/helixnebula.html
The entire story about Jesus is very screwed up...
A part of god impregnates Mary, to give birth to another part of god: "the son of god".
Then he is to be killed by torture, to free humans from sin (that god himself unjustly chose as punishment for ALL humans). Only, when he is killed, he gets to go to heaven, so it wasn't much of a punishment to begin with.
"The entire story about Jesus is very screwed up..."
Well what do you expect?It was written by us humans,we aren't perfect.
No only by humans, but by todays standards, uneducated goat herders.
The biblical creation account in Genesis I, as many Bible scholars will admit, employs a flat-earth, Babylonian, 3-story cosmology that contradicts the sciences of evolution, large parts of geology, and most of astronomy, not to mention paleontology, archaeology, anthropology, linguistics and various other sciences. Then, we have Noah’s ark, a charming story of mass extermination that traces back to ancient Sumeria whose version was written to justify the authority of kings rather than to make a moral point.
The idea that thousands of animals could be cared for over a whole year in a rocking, dank, poorly lit, disease-ridden, poop-loaded ark, with its air dangerously polluted by explosive methane and poisonous ammonia, a roach-loaded, vermin-laden, undermanned ark tended by 8 -- given that several modern zoos with infinitely more space, fresh air, good lighting, firm ground, sufficient personnel, unlimited supplies of fresh food and clean water, modern technology, electric power, and expertise can’t accomplish as much -- is plainly a trip in fantasy-land! Then, those poor animals, no doubt half-dead if they somehow survived the trip and confinement, are dumped on top of a muddy, barren, volcanic peak, from which they somehow make their way to all parts of the world without dying of hunger or being eaten by their starved, meat-eating companions. Sir, I call that violence to reason in the highest degree! Of course, I do recognize that many Christians, probably most, have abandoned such nonsense.
For more fun with a flat earth see my thread "Flat-Earth World" in the Debate Forum (03/23/2016 16:53).
Another favorite of mine is how to cleanse the sickness of leprosy. This is some funny reading...
Leviticus 14 (KJV)
"4 Then shall the priest command to take for him that is to be cleansed two birds alive and clean, and cedar wood, and scarlet, and hyssop:
5 And the priest shall command that one of the birds be killed in an earthen vessel over running water:
6 As for the living bird, he shall take it, and the cedar wood, and the scarlet, and the hyssop, and shall dip them and the living bird in the blood of the bird that was killed over the running water:
7 And he shall sprinkle upon him that is to be cleansed from the leprosy seven times, and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the living bird loose into the open field.
8 And he that is to be cleansed shall wash his clothes, and shave off all his hair, and wash himself in water, that he may be clean: and after that he shall come into the camp, and shall tarry abroad out of his tent seven days.
9 But it shall be on the seventh day, that he shall shave all his hair off his head and his beard and his eyebrows, even all his hair he shall shave off: and he shall wash his clothes, also he shall wash his flesh in water, and he shall be clean.
10 And on the eighth day he shall take two he lambs without blemish, and..."
And it doesn't end there, it just keeps going and going...
http://www.bidstrup.com/bible2.htm
The whole of the bible disenfranchises me from the entire population who seek it out for inspiration.
I consider the bible for no reason whatsoever anymore.
Really. Taken literally, it's a stupendous, poisonous downer.
Why bother?
Just say no.
If you followed the teachings of the old testament you would now be either dead, In jail or in an mental hospital.
Oy, I could go on for a month with a list like this. The first things that pop to mind are:
-Before the universe was created there was water. Not nothingness, but water. Deep water.
-god separates the light from the dark in complete ignorance of the fact that we're just in the shadow of the earth facing away from the sun. The writers of the bible had no idea that we were simply facing away from the sun and that it was daylight elsewhere on earth.
-Light began before stars.
-Plantlife began before stars.
-The first animal ever killed was killed by god to cover up Adam and Eve's nakedness.
-A snake was cursed to crawl on its belly, as opposed to how it crawled on its belly to begin with. The snake was the prick that screwed everything up, so god the asshat punished him with precisely nothing. How very just and wise of him.
-god doesn't like Cain's vegetables, but just loves the dead animal carcusses that Abel killed.
-god hates cooperation and unity among humans, so he cursed everyone to speak different languages. Otherwise they might build a tall building and try to praise god in person up in heaven.
-Heaven is "up". Damn, that's stupid.
-Abraham deceives his child about a gloomy walk up a tall mountain to his death. And he makes his son carry the very wood that will cook his son. This is the great act of faith celebrated by Muslims, Christians and Jews today.
-The intergalactic super being with eternal power appeared to Moses as a smoldering shrub.
-god almost murdered Moses on his trip to Egypt because Moses has foreskin attached to the end of his dick.
-god proves he is the super intergalactic being by turning a stick into a snake, something magicians can accomplish back in Egypt. Twice.
-god said he would demonstrate ALL of his wonders in Egypt. His wonders included infestations of frogs and locusts and flies. Good work god, you dumb ass prick. Really impressive.
-People were promised they'd be saved, but were abandoned in the desert for 4 decades. Which was better than what he told Moses he wanted to do, which was kill every Hebrew and repopulate with Moses.
-The Meidianites saved Moses after he fled from Egypt the first time, and the head priest of the Medianites gave his daughter to Moses. Later, god tells Moses to have the entire race of Medianites killed except for the virgin girls, who are to be taken as sex slaves.
These are the first few things that come to mind, and that was just the first of 66 books in the bible. It is so tragically stupid. If god were real I would advocate for forming a hunting party to go get rid of him.
Jephthah Burns His Daughter
“At that time the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jephthah, and he went throughout the land of Gilead and Manasseh, including Mizpah in Gilead, and led an army against the Ammonites. And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD. He said, “If you give me victory over the Ammonites, I will give to the LORD the first thing coming out of my house to greet me when I return in triumph. I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.”
This is a stupid cruel story. What the hell was Jephthah hoping was going to come out of his house his maid or butler? Not as ridiculous as the Noah story but not too far behind.
That particular story illustrates the 10th Commandment, Exodus 34:26 (NKJV) = "You shall not boil a young goat in its mother's milk".
Almost all of the biblical stories in the Old Testament illustrate one of the Ten Commandments in Exodus 342:10-28. And so do most of the ones in the New Testament.
BTW, the Jesus character also warned in Matthew 5:36-37 against making rash vows like Jephthah did.
The Old Testament Israelites were worse than the ISIS fanatics. Bad dudes.
Judges 7
Gideon is about to fight a battle with the Midianites, but god decides he has too many men, so he orders Gideon to tell them all to drink from the river. The ones that drink like dogs with their faces in the water, and the ones that knelt down to drink are excluded, leaving just 300 who cupped the water in the hands. The reason for this nonsense was so god could prove his power by allowing Gideon to beat a superior force with just 300 men.
Did anybody mention Samson's haircut? WTF?
I am loving this thread. Man, does it feel good to mock this horseshit.