What should I do??

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Cognostic's picture
What should I do??

The Jesus I put on the top of my Christmas tree keeps looking at me. I thought I heard him say "Let me down!" What should I do?

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Oten's picture
LOL You should not stop

LOL You should not stop taking your medicines. You're already hearing Jesus voice.

Tin-Man's picture
Damn, Cog, it ain't rocket

Damn, Cog, it ain't rocket science. Just blindfold him and put duct tape across his mouth. Problem solved. Sheesh!

Rohan M.'s picture
Or better: throw him out and

Or better: throw him out and replace him with Satan! It’ll freak out so many people...

arakish's picture
I don't know, if you shoved

I don't know, if you shoved the tree top up my ass, I'd be screaming too.

rmfr

Bad Santa's picture
I don't know arakish about

I don't know arakish about shoving the tree up your ass... hm, sounds like incest to me...

arakish's picture
LOL Two reasons to be

LOL Two reasons to be screaming...

rmfr

Rohan M.'s picture
Hmm... sounds like

Hmm... sounds like fornication. >:)

Bad Santa's picture
@OP

@OP

How about this Cog. Put a little figurine of devil right behind Jesus and make a little sign quoting the bible "Get thee behind me Satan!"

That should keep him busy...

SeniorCitizen007's picture
Set fire to the tree.

Set fire to the tree.

Rohan M.'s picture
Set fire to your tree on

Set fire to your tree on camera, then dress up in a Grinch costume, go to a public place driving a tank decorated with boughs of holly, and yell the dreaded war cry ”HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”; “Merry Athmas” if you’re feeling extra brave, and when FOX News comes to bitch, give their cameraman the middle finger and shout the dreaded god-killing slur, ”IMAGINARY SKY FAIRY!!!” You’ll never hear the end of it.

Rivka's picture
Haha, throw him out!

Haha, throw him out!

Rohan M.'s picture
Might just be the after

Might just be the after-effects of your indoctrination; when I write things on here like “Wholly Buybull” and “imaginary cosmic wizard”, I sometimes, for a split-second, feel like that’s a very evil thing, even though I already know that all I’m doing is stating facts.

Either that, or you had a couple of drinks too much and are merely seeing things. Either way, what you described is just creepy.

xenoview's picture
Burn Jesus and put a star on

Burn Jesus and put a star on top of the tree.

Cognostic's picture
I think he is controlling my

I think he is controlling my mind. I sat in the TV chair last night but did not watch TV. Instead Jesus and I had a no blink stare off. He made me fall asleep so he could win,. I tried to set the tree on fire but it is aluminum and will not burn. I can;t get to the top of the tree because my chairs are in the kitchen, How would I get one into the living room without Jesus seeing it and condemning me to hell. Oh Fuck, make him stop looking at me. I can't get too him without him seeing me and condemning me to hell. Oh hell, what can I do?

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Cog

@ Cog

Wear your Pig Nose......and dance naked in the snow with bits of you painted in rainbow colors, until the cops come and take you away. Leave the front door open, some lowlife will enter and trash your place, problem solvered.

Cognostic's picture
Dance naked with a pig nose

Dance naked with a pig nose in front of Jesus.... but but but..... "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain:" He might get pissed at me! I mean, I don't wanna not go to heaven.

David Killens's picture
Put a blindfolded jesus head

Put a blindfolded jesus head on a naked barbie doll for the tree topper.

Or get a Jack Russell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C-FQb9s5is

Diotrephes's picture
Crucify him! He will rise

Crucify him! He will rise after 3 days.

Rohan M.'s picture
Then he’ll come back down and

Then he’ll come back down and show you His Love.
https://www.rationalwiki.org/wiki/Fun:God%27s_Love

Cognostic's picture
He's omnipotent, he can see

He's omnipotent, he can see my mind working. He knows I am on here chatting. He knows what I will do before I do it. I am forced to do his will. Make him stop looking at me. He is in my head. How do I make him stop? He can see through blindfolds and if I kill him he will resurrect and kill me back. How can I win. This situation is hopeless!

Diotrephes's picture
Cognostic,

Cognostic,

I hope you are joking.

Rohan M.'s picture
Quick guys... let’s give Cog

Quick guys... let’s give Cog some rationality before he reconverts!

If God’s omnipotent, then why doesn’t he just smite us all right now for our blaspheming? How come there was no attempt of him to “reveal himself to us” when we first started questioning? And remember the problem of evil... (on my profile page)

LOL... I hope Cog isn’t serious...

Cognostic's picture
https://www.youtube.com/watch

Don't be silly. I am not JoeKing. This is JoeKing. I am much more interesting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQoXtraHuQE

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