Why is wombat poop cube-shaped?

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arakish's picture
Why is wombat poop cube-shaped?

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/11/wombat-poop-cube-why-is-it-square-shaped/

Now here is an interesting story.

Y'all have some fun now, ya hear?

rmfr

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Dan Morris's picture
I'm reporting these people to

I'm reporting these people to the authorities! Imagine the suffering these poor animals endured from having a balloon inflated in their gluteus maximus! The horror! Can anyone say preparation H?

Algebe's picture
Square shit = intelligent

Square shit = intelligent design. What more proof do you need? The best that evolution has produced is vaguely round or cylindrical shit. I have seen the light. I have found god in a wombat's anus. All praise his marsupial arsehole.

Cognostic's picture
Oh ... come on... There is

Oh ... come on... There is no big secret here. You eat four square meals a day and you shit square poo. Nothing new here.

Grinseed's picture
When you sit out in the Ozzie

When you sit out in the Ozzie bush, particularly around dawn when its quiet and the sun is rising slowly over the gum trees, dissipating the mist, if you concentrate, you will hear the soft grunting of wombats taking their morning shit and the sudden soft thud as their anuses bang shut after the square turd passes. Nature is wonderful.

Cognostic's picture
Just remember when you are

Just remember when you are hiking in the Australian outback, don't eat the little square cookies.

Grinseed's picture
It ain't manna ftom heaven

It ain't manna ftom heaven thats for sure.

Tin-Man's picture
Soooooooo.... You mean to

Soooooooo.... You mean to tell me all those little blocks I have been using in my coffee the past few weeks are NOT brown sugar cubes?..... DAMMIT, OLD MAN!!!..... Arrrrrgh!.... Ya know, I should have known something was suspicious when the "brand name" on the box he sent me looked hand-written! Plus the fact it was just a plain cardboard box. But I just figured it was some sort of novelty Australian style sugar product. Oddly enough, though, it added a bit of a nutty flavor to the coffee that is actually rather tasty.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Tin Man

@ Tin Man

*Evil Laugh* Did you enjoy the Platypus Brand "Peanut butter with Vegemite"? I sent you this week?

I think I just invented a new game...lets call it Poo Sticks! Oh wait a milne....

Cognostic's picture
I have been trying to get my

I have been trying to get my shit into little squares for about three days now. I know for a fact that drinking a colonic and standing on your head while dedicating does not work. The closest I have gotten to shitting out little squares is using the waffle iron. I just don't get how Wombats can do something that we humans can't do. Aren't we more evolved? So far the best square I have made had to be shaped with a putty knife.

Algebe's picture
@Cognostic: The closest I

@Cognostic: The closest I have gotten to shitting out little squares is using the waffle iron.

Have you tried the ice cube tray from your refrigerator? If you freeze them hard enough you can throw them through the stained glass windows at your local church.

Cognostic's picture
Ice cube trays. Why didn't

Ice cube trays. Why didn't I think of that!!! Holy shit!!!! I can make poop in stars, moons, happy faces, fish, dentures, snow flakes, caterpillars, and a whole lot more. Problem solved. Fuck those wombats. Anyone want to come over and help me cleanup the kitchen?

Tin-Man's picture
@Cog Re: "Anyone want to

@Cog Re: "Anyone want to come over and help me cleanup the kitchen?"

Aw, golly-gee willikers! I would really love to help, but I already made plans to sit at home and shove bamboo splinters under my fingernails. And after that I have to trim my nose hairs with a hot soldering iron. Thanks for the offer, though.

Cognostic's picture
I used to love getting my

I used to love getting my nails done before the sex change operation. Now I just sit at home and watch football when I am not making wombat shaped poop-sickles.

David Killens's picture
You have to train your

You have to train your sphincters to snap open and shut to attain square edges.

Peurii's picture
Food goes in, square poop

Food goes in, square poop goes out. You can't explain that.

Cognostic's picture
Explain it??? I just did.

Explain it??? I just did. "Food goes in, square poop comes out." Do you need pictures?

Tin-Man's picture
Hey, guys. I did a little

Hey, guys. I did a little research, and I believe I have solved the square poop mystery. The little critters use one of these whenever they take a poop.

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Cognostic's picture
Nope! I just dissected my

Nope! I just dissected my wombat and the device was not in there. I checked everywhere. Then just to make sure I diced the little critter up into little bits of furry meat. Then I realized, wombat cubes. The wombat is made up of little cubes. It's right there in front of me. Of course it shits cubes, it is made up of little cubes. It's cubes all the way down. The more I cut the more cubes I get. And if I put all the little cubes back together, I will get a wombat.

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