Monster

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Schibaka's picture
Monster

The One True Monster
The Flying Spaghetti MONSTER is only called such because of his distinctly non-human form; we were not created in his image, not by a long shot.
“Let us sing praise to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for He is a loving God. Of His might and dominion, there is no compare; of His mercy and deliciousness, there is no equal. No other god can challenge Him; in the taste test, He is invincible. Through His pasta, He has blessed us with everlasting life, and holy is His Name. For He is the Flying Spaghetti Monster: the One, True, and Most High God, creator of man and midgit, giver of pasta, giver of sauce, from age to holy age; not created He was, but ever He lives, through the glory of spaghetti, now and forever. R'Amen.”

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Schibaka's picture
Being a creation of the

Being a creation of the Spaghetti monster is a big trill. How about u?

Schibaka's picture
PS THIS god also works. I

PS THIS god also works. I prayed to him for rain and a huge storm. Spaghetti monster delivers

Zaphod's picture
Nice! :) gosta love the

Nice! :) Gosta love the spaghetti monster and his pirates.

Schibaka's picture
he had pirates ? :P

he had pirates ? :P

sarahevanston's picture
Wait, there are pirates

Wait, there are pirates involved also? I'm on board with this one then. All praise the flying spaghetti monster and his pirate cohorts!

SammyShazaam's picture
Well, I guess I *do* believe

Well, I guess I *do* believe in pirates... where do I sign up?

firebolt's picture
I can get on board if there

I can get on board if there are pirates, the Jack Sparrow kind not the Jake and the Neverland kind.

SammyShazaam's picture
R'amen!

R'amen!

PsychoSarah's picture
God is edible :D solution to

God is edible :D solution to starvation.

mysticrose's picture
I love spaghetti so much so

I love spaghetti so much so it will not be a problem for me to be a creation of spaghetti monster as long as he will give us endless supply of yummy spaghetti!!

PsychoSarah's picture
We pray to the FSM trinity,

We pray to the FSM trinity, to the pasta, the noodle, and the holy meatball :p

Somerset John's picture
Can't think, too busy

Can't think, too busy laughing.
What about the teapot?

PsychoSarah's picture
What teapot?

What teapot?

Shock of God's picture
I would like to see

I would like to see justifiable evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.

SammyShazaam's picture
Dude, planets are shaped like

Dude, planets are shaped like meatballs. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is able to navigate through them easily, and intertwines his energy through all of us and the sauce of the Universe.

It's pretty obvious, once you consider it.

As above, so below. I've got some pasta boiling as we speak.

Shock of God's picture
I asked for justifiable

I asked for justifiable evidence. Evidence from science that suggests that a divine being who looks like a giant flying monster made of spaghetti exists.

Reason One Why the Flying Spaghetti Monster Does Not Exist:
It is a material being. If it can fly and is made of spaghetti, then it must be material, as immaterial objects do not need to fly nor can they be physically described.

Reason Two:
Spaghetti was invented by humans. How could a human invention predate humans?

Reason Three:
There are no documents or recordings anywhere of belief in a deity known as the "Flying Spaghetti Monster". In fact, the term was first coined by Bobby Henderson in 2005.

That would be three pieces of justifiable evidence against the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which makes his existence highly improbable. And planets are rounded by their gravity.

Zaphod's picture
Reason 1: Ever heard of

Reason 1: Ever heard of metaphor, he is immaterial his spaghetti noodle appendages can reach everywhere you can't see them but the evidence is there its everywhere you just have to believe to see it.

Reason 2: Your God was created by man but the Flying spaghetti Monster created humans who created your god so in effect created your god.

Reason 3: The Flying Spaghetti Monster exist outside of time and came to the great Prophet Henderson at a carefully planed time for everything FSM does is done for a reason. Though the reason is ussually for strippers and booze particularly the reason in this case was to make sure that if other religions are taught in school than the Pastafarian religion should be as well taught as well this is very very important. How else will the kids grow up to become strippers an pirates his most beloved subjects.

Parker Mont Blanc's picture
Who needs science to explain?

Who needs science to explain? The evidence is all there! All you have to do is open your eyes!

Reason 1
The FSM is a being that has every perfection.
Existence is a perfection.
Therefore, obviously, the FSM does exist!

Reason 2
There were planets long before there were humans and they are all meatball shaped - another testament to the FSM's greatness!

Reason 3
To know the truth about the FSM, you first have to accept it. With acceptance will come understanding. Let us take a moment to remember that he boiled for your sins. That sacrifice has to count for something right?

If that is not evidence enough than I don't know what is. Also, it is common knowledge that gravity is caused by the FSM's noodly appendages pushing down on us. Since gravity is what makes planets round and gravity is caused by the FSM, then it was the FSM that made the planets round - like meatballs. I don't know why these truths have to be explained to unbelievers over and over again.

Shock of God's picture
Firstly, the "Flying

Firstly, the "Flying Spaghetti Monster" can be physically described and is, therefore, not immaterial. This means that it could not have been the creator of the Universe, so your entire argument is false.

Blair Logan's picture
Gold! Think I've heard

Gold! Think I've heard something like this before...

Zaphod's picture
:)

:)

Zaphod's picture
So, your saying now God must

So, your saying now God must be immaterial?

Shock of God's picture
God is immaterial.

God is immaterial.

SammyShazaam's picture
Pasta can take any shape it

Pasta can take any shape it wishes. Evidence can be found in any local grocery store.

Rotini? Fettucini? Elbows? Buccatini? Farfalle?

This God does it all... even couscous.

Shock of God's picture
If you can call it pasta then

If you can call it pasta then it can be physically described and is, therefore, physically bound. If it can take a different shape then it must be physically bound.

If it is physically bound that it cannot transcend the Universe and, thusly, cannot exist independently of it. If it cannot exist independently of the Universe then it could not have brought it into existence.

The whole "Flying Spaghetti Monster" thing as a god refutes itself.

SammyShazaam's picture
So, when your god became a

So, when your god became a burning bush, he was physically bound. What are you trying to say?

I love Pasta, and hate hypocrisy.

Parker Mont Blanc's picture
The FSM is omnipotent, his

The FSM is omnipotent, his greatness has no limits! Human concepts like the laws of physics or science do not apply to Him.

The thing you call the universe? He created it!

"On the seventh day of floating around infinite nothingness, after six days of rest, the FSM said, 'Let there be a Universe, or something!' And there was a Universe, or something not terribly far off. And the FSM saw that it was pretty damn good, especially the bits with a light sauce"
—the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

mattyn's picture
Dude, I can't stop laughing

Dude, I can't stop laughing from that one!

mattyn's picture
Flying spaghetti monster,

Flying spaghetti monster, pirates and farfale minions? I see a Disney movie in the wings! Somebody call Johnny Depp.

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