Atheist Predictions for 2019

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Cognostic's picture
Atheist Predictions for 2019

Let's see how psychic everyone is and make a few predictions for 2019

1. Donald Trump will be elected for a second term.
2. Both Hillary and Bill will die in a plane crash.
3. The North Korean Government will collapse but Chinese troops will move in quickly and claim the territory.
Just make the predictions - This isn't the debate forum.
4. A super volcano will erupt in or near Japan. Tidal waves and volcanic dust will destroy cities and crops throughout Asia.
5. America's Atheist population will grow to 50%

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Tin-Man's picture
1. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely

1. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" will make a tremendous comeback, but it will be on the country music charts and performed by Shania Twain.

2. "Harry Potter" and "Star Wars" will become the next mainstream religions over Islam and Christianity.

3. The Galactic Enforcement Agency will arrive and place Earth on probation for failure to pay several millennia worth of accrued parking tickets and orbital zone violations.

4. Voyager 1 will return to Earth covered in graffiti and have a postcard attached with a close-up picture of Alpha Centauri on it and a hand-scribbled message, "Wish you were here."

5. Smart phones will be replaced by smart contact lenses.

Rohan M.'s picture
@Tin Man RE: 5

@Tin Man RE: 5

Oh Goat... I hope not... I can't stand things being placed on my eyes...

SecularSonOfABiscuitEater's picture
2019 — Gas prices will drop

2019 — Gas prices will drop towards the end of the year like it always does during election season and Donald Trump will take credit for it.

2019 - Trump voters will still be clowns.

Offended? Good.

Rohan M.'s picture
LOL so true... they'll always

LOL so true... they'll always worship Trump and eat up everything he says no matter what, even if it's an obvious lie.

Diotrephes's picture
No one will go to the moon.

No one will go to the moon.

Rohan M.'s picture
Well, I've heard that China

Well, I've heard that China just sent a probe to the Moon's Dark Side (the side we never see from Earth) in order to conduct a botched experiment involving a mini-ecosystem:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/4857967/china-dark-side-...

Diotrephes's picture
There will be an earthquake

There will be an earthquake in Oklahoma and in Mexico within the next 7 days.

Diotrephes's picture
"There will be an earthquake

"There will be an earthquake in Oklahoma and in Mexico within the next 7 days."

My prediction about the Mexico earthquake came true within a day = a 4.4 32km ESE of Jesus Carranza, Mexico
https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/#%7B%22autoUpdate%22%3A%5B%2...

I just missed Oklahoma.

arakish's picture
Only problem with this is

Only problem with this is that there are ALWAYS earthquakes EVERYWHERE every day. I have a program that lists all the earthquakes every day. I think the quietest day I have seen was only about 1000 earthquakes. Thus, it is not a prediction, just a guess.

rmfr

Diotrephes's picture
Just as I predicted! A 3.6

Just as I predicted! A 3.6 earthquake in Oklahoma Monday morning. https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map/#%7B%22autoUpdate%22%3A%5B%2...
My predictions came true. I am a genuine prophet.

And it looks like no man will make it to the moon this year = https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/8193161/chalk-lines-china-moon-mission-pho...

Rohan M.'s picture
@Dio And it will be caused by

@Dio And it will be caused by God getting pissed at us heathens for existing... queue the fanatics screaming that in the streets...

Mutorc S'yriah's picture
In most places throughout the

In most places throughout the world, the sun will rise daily, but not at the same time of day in each place, (as measured on ordinary clocks).

The sun will also set each day, in most places throughout the world, again, not at the same time of day in each place, (as measured on ordinary clocks).

Early birds, (aves), will catch worms, but not all bird species will even look for worms to catch.

Mu : )

LogicFTW's picture
Before I add my list, I was

Before I add my list, I was curious, how will donald trump be elected for 2nd term in 2019? The election is in 2020. Not debating, just wondering if it was tongue in cheek humour? Or are we talking about predictions we make in 2019 and will come true sometime in the future?

Predictions for 2019 hmm do I make fun ones that will likely not come true, or realistic ones hmm... fun ones it is.

1. Avengers "end game" movie is really Dr. Strange realizing Thanos cannot be beaten except by himself, and thanos will actually grow remorseful and undo what he did to get his "daughter" back.
2. Season 8 of game of thrones will be amazing, but fail to live up to the hype. Jon Snow will get killed and Arya will steal his face and rule in his stead. HBO will lose 10 million + subscribers after the last episode airs.
3. Another large well known company will get hacked, try to hide it, and everyone will get all their personal information stolen and made available on the darknet... again (maybe several times this year.) Everyone will just assume all their personal information is for sale somewhere on the net.
4. Rental powered scooters (or something similar) will continue to grow and expand to a city near you and people will complain bitterly about it.
5. VR is going to continue to mostly suck, self driving vehicles are going to continue to suck, but we will get "foldable" phones, that will also... mostly suck and everyone will realize it is just a flip phone with a larger screen.
6. "8k" resolution TV's will sell less than 10,000 units world wide, because even idiots with lots of money to waste will realize they cannot possibly see any difference between 8k and 4k unless they put their nose to the screen. Some will still buy it simply for bragging rights.

This was fun. But I will stop here.

 
 

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Cognostic's picture
So... President Trump will

So... President Trump will be the President in 2019!

Cognostic's picture
A Bigfoot will be caught on

A Bigfoot will be caught on video in the wild and real video of him given to the press. The video will be murky and unclear but Bigfoot hinters all over the world will hail it as absolute proof of the beast's existence.

Another woman living in a trailer park will be abducted, impregnated, and then have her baby stolen by aliens.

A girl in Kentucky will pray for a pony. She will get the pony on here birthday and because of the affluence of her family will thank God on public TV. At the interview continues with her family, the little girl mounts the steed and is seen falling off and cracking her head in the background of the interview. We never hear from the little girl again and the internet comes alive with conspiracy theories.

Rohan M.'s picture
1. The US government will

1. The US government will discover that the mysterious thing that China is up to on the dark side of the moon is a hidden nuclear missile silo.

2. Trump will be impeached for attempting to veto a bill ending his stupid shutdown over the Great Wall of America, and thus replaced with... *GASP* Mike Pence!!!

3. Much to the newly-sworn in President Pence's dismay, the percentage of 16-25 year olds who are atheists will grow from 40% to 46%, and worse- gay acceptance will increase by 20%.

4. Scientists will discover Planet Nine (and this might hold a grain of truth, as they're now getting close with the discovery of the new dwarf planet and its orbit that can only be explained by the gravitational pull of a ninth planet the size of Neptune, if not larger.)

5. And quoted from Ken Demyer, CP's resident manchild: Conservapedia's Alexa search rankings will exceed those of RationalWiki, thus destroying atheism and evolutionism on the Internet. Olé, Olé, Olé!

Fallen's picture
1 One of the ghost hunter

1 One of the ghost hunter shows will record clear evidence of a 'full body' apparition. Scientists will investigate and find conclusive evidence of the afterlife. The apparition will become known as Bob. Bob will become famous and US president, but will be impeached for a skeleton in his closet. He would think himself untouchable but the fact that his unrealistic campaign promises failed, and his suspected collusion with the dark side of the other side will see him lose popularity.

2 There will be a second coming of Jesus, but nobody will notice because he will come as a spirit, doing spiritual things, and the Christians expected a literal coming and kingdom; just like the Jewish people the first time. He will leave because its boring if nobody can see or interact with you, after you've done so much to make them spiritually alive - dooming this world to the everlasting flame of entropy.

3 Later in the year a disc like object will land in Times square. After investigation, scientists will find no noticeable features on the craft except a mini USB port. After file transfer they will discover the file to be a AAA quality video game. Incredibly the video game will be complete/finished (no bugs, DLC or loot boxes). The world will be in awe because it will be reasonably priced as well. This will cause rioting in the streets and ultimately anarchy will reign, taking us back to a primal society, throwing stones for entertainment.

Cognostic's picture
1. Scientists will find a

1. Scientists will find a cure for RatSpit
2. 77 guy will slip deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.
3. Old man will get one year older.
4. Tin man will be as funny as ever and grace us with new levels of wit.
5. Sheldon will finally lose his patients and completely blow up at someone.
6. Cyber will be as steady as ever.
7. Arakish will continue losing leaves but there is hope, he will grow them back in 2010.
8. Bad Santa will bitch because he is cold. He he he he ... "Instant Karma" he should not have given so much out during the Christmas holidays..... "Freeze you filthy bastard!"
9. Diotrephes will, no he won't, yes he will, no he won't.... oh hell I don't know.
10. And Cog will be cog in the wheel that makes the mind go round and round and round.

LogicFTW's picture
And I am completely

And I am completely unpredictable! Buwahahaha! *evil laughter*

Cognostic's picture
No no no no....... You are

No no no no....... You are completely logically unpredictable.

Tin-Man's picture
Re: LogicFTW

Re: LogicFTW

Actually, by his saying he is unpredictable, he has inadvertently made himself predictable by becoming predictably unpredictable. His unpredictability can now be easily predicted. Whereas had he not told us anything, we would have no way to predict whether or not he would be unpredictable.

Cognostic's picture
A monkey could have written

A monkey could have written that.

LogicFTW's picture
A monkey with a typewriter?

A monkey with a typewriter? With a human monkey very generously copying it over to the internet?

And whos to say I am predictably unpredictable? Perhaps the logic is to make you all think I am predictably unpredictable. But then, where is the logic in revealing that?

Perhaps I am logically predictable.. hmm.. But am I just saying that to throw you guys off?

Rohan M.'s picture
And I will start to reference

And I will start to reference EVEN MORE random RationalWiki memes like Goat and Assfly and Trusworthy and Largely defensive weapon of gun and Ceiling Cat and Mei is useful and... oh wait, prediction fulfilled!

Cognostic's picture
The RAPTURE will not happen

The RAPTURE will not happen again in 2019, though Christian sects all over the world will insist that it it going to happen.

CyberLN's picture
The rapture may happen but it

The rapture may happen but it depends on your partner.

Tin-Man's picture
@Cyber Re: "The rapture may

@Cyber Re: "The rapture may happen but it depends on your partner."

Literally about fell out of my chair laughing at that one!... Bwaaaaa-haaaa-haaaa...!!!

Rohan M.'s picture
And their only "evidence" for

And their only "evidence" for the favorite assertion that it'll happen during the January 21 solar eclipse is the "rampant materialism", "capitalism getting selfish" (*irony meter explodes*), and "atheists mocking God"- no really, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Talyyn's picture
Searching for truth will

Searching for truth will return and say the first logical thing of his life.
Theists will stop making the same bullshit arguments.
People will elect people with no delusions in government.
Atheist Republic pages will become as pink as a unicorn.

Rohan M.'s picture
And here are some of my

And here are some of my Conservapedia-related predictions:

* Andrew Schlafly will deconvert and hand over all rights to Conservapedia over to its rightful owner, Trent Toulouse (creator of RW)- and together the two kings will then rename it to "Atheopedia" and make it a project of the RationalMedia Foundation. Then, Assfly will apologize to his homeschool indoctrination class for having been such an abusive, sexist asshole to them in front of the other users of his former wiki, and will finally start giving them honest science classes.

* Ken "Conservative" DeMyer will finally have the machismo to accept my debate challenge, and will be humiliated by a fucking fifteen year-old, and thus exposed as the immature manchild he is.

* Speaking of Ken, he'll also make his first ever realistic prediction about "atheism and evolutionism on the Internet": that they will likely explode and proliferate, destroying his pet CP articles (Atheism, Creationism, Atheism and X, Homosexuality and X, Richard Dawkins and X, Liberalism and X, etc.) some time in the near or distant future, at which point it is very likely that Conservapedia will have lost all vestiges of credibility in some regards!! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!

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