I was raised Catholic and fully believed it for most of my life. Gradually over the past few years I have looked into it all more and more and now I am an atheist.
My problem is that my family are all Christians to varying degrees.
Yesterday at a family meal the conversation got around to religion as it always does and for the first time ever I properly stated that I was an atheist. To be fair they did try to understand but they just couldn’t. These are normally intelligent people who I agree with most things about. Every other topic that I discuss rationally and logically they can always see my side.
With this they can’t. They say I’m on a journey and I just need a revelation from god and it will come and then I will know. They say it’s about a personal experience and relationship with god and every question I have they just say they can’t give me answers and it’s down to god and I have to open my heart and he will reveal himself to me and then I will know.
I used to talk this way too. I told them the truth would set them free and that I felt completely liberated. I feel almost evangelical in my atheism - I want to show them that there is another way. But I do not want to be THAT person.
It’s so hard - they told me I am not atheist , I am agnostic. I tried to explain that atheist is not anti theist - but they didn’t get it. My mother gasped “you’re not an atheist” as if I had said “satanist”.
It’s so hard. I love my family so much but I feel like I have outgrown them somewhat. I feel like I can’t be 100% true to myself with them because religion permeates everything they do - from saying grace at mealtimes to saying god bless on the phone, or “trust in god” when you have an issue etc etc.
I have come to the conclusion that I will have to stop discussing it with them and stay on “safer” topics but it’s really hard. I feel very alone right now.
Has anyone experienced anything similar or does anyone have any advice? Thanks loads
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