If an atheist and an agnostic couple plan to have a church wedding, are they supposed to inform the church that they are atheists/agnostics? Is it possible? I know it may look somewhat hypocritical and nonsensical, but the couple are required to get married by law (even though they do not even believe in the importance of marriage) just for formality's sake. One of the partners also does not want to have a civil wedding because of his political view (one believes that it is like begging the gov't for permission and does not like the idea of begging and getting involved with the gov't), and would rather go for a church wedding since it's more like part of tradition. I can't explain everything here because it is complicated and is going to be a long discussion, but based on this overview, I hope someone here could share their thoughts on this.
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Hello, as far as I'm concerned marrying in the church is for christians only, saying you're agnostic / atheist would lead to a lot of trouble.
At least for my country (Lithuania) there are also things like communion and consolidation that you have to achieve before getting married in the church.
So in the end hiding your religion views would probably be for the best, playing along their rules.
Regards
You may be able to find a church, in America, that would not have any qualms with hosting a wedding between non-believers. However, I don't understand what your friend means by a civil wedding? There are plenty of venues to have a wedding other than a church and a court house. Also, a priest is not required to officiate a wedding. Regardless of where the wedding takes place, the legal process in order for the marriage to be recognized by the government (marriage license, marriage certificate, etc.) will be the same.
I appreciate the info. Based on his own words, he just does not like the idea of "asking permission" from the government for anything, including for two people to be together and consider themselves husband and wife. Maybe by civil wedding he meant a wedding officiated by a lawyer or gov't official. I do not fully understand his political stand either so it's difficult for me to explain. It's just that a marriage certificate is one of the requirements that they need to submit in order to submit some application.
I understand his point of view. There are many libertarian groups who believe that marriage licenses are immoral because it infringes on human liberties. However, the likelihood of his license being denied is low and if he wants his marriage to be recognized by the government, either for immigration status or tax status, then he is going to have to get a license and certificate regardless of where he gets married. So if he is an atheist there is not any need for him to get married in a church because the process is going to be the same.
You're right. Thanks for the great info. Very helpful. I should talk to my friend about this.
Both my wife and I are atheists. As part of my immigration into Australia it made the entire system easier with a marriage certificate even though we both agreed that the piece of paper meant nothing to us. We sure didn't do it in a church though, twenty minutes at the courthouse and it was done. My sister was married in her backyard and had a lovely service with friends and family. I don't understand what churches have to do with it or why you would enter one if it stands for something you don't believe in.
Hubby and I are both atheists and we decided that we preferred to get married in a local hotel instead of in a church or other religious building as neither of us has attended one regularly.
I got married in a hotel as well. The wife and I had attended a few Catholic weddings prior to our own and the priests went on and on and on about welcoming the couple into God's gang. We didn't want any of that rubbish!
A civil wedding was perfect. Walk down the isle, repeat the irreligious vows and then on to the most most important parts - eating, drinking and dancing til the early hours!
Couldn't have been any better. :)
In Begium, by law, all marriages must be performed before the appointed offical at the town hall who follows a strict non-religious protocol. This must be done prior to any religious ceremony. No pastor or dominee or other is allowed to perform his mumbo-jumbo prior to this event. At least one thing we do right.
In the UK, christian & jewish marriages are legally recognised but AFAIK islamic ones are not. I suspect that the reason for this is that muslims sometimes have polygamous marriages which would, of course, would be illegal if the marriages were legitimised by the state. Also, in the case of divorce, women would enjoy many more rights in the UK legal system rather than sharia courts.
That said, my understanding if that many (perhaps most) muslims have a civil marriage ceremony in addition to a mosque wedding.
Humanist weddings are available if you want something that is traditional and professional with experienced celebrants...
https://humanism.org.uk/ceremonies/non-religious-weddings/faqs/
https://americanhumanist.org/get-involved/become-a-humanist-celebrant/
Namings and funerals are also available. (I notice my spell-checker underlines "namings" as if it is an incorrect spelling. Spellchecker must be created by a religionist as 'religionist' is also underlined :-)
Wait, but doesn't the marraige certificate have to be issued by the Gov anyway? There's no going around that. Btw the beach is an awesome venue!
Back when we got married (26 years ago) in the UK you had to either get married in a church or at the local registry office (which for us was a 1960s concrete bunker on a main road) so we picked the church. The vicar kind of guessed that we didn't do any of the religious thing but we had both been baptised when babies so were entitled and he got the money so he didn't care that much. We basically picked a venue that happened to be a church.
These days people are searching for negatives in every aspect of life. Very tiresome. I'm guessing the wedding of such negatively focused minds will be die a quick death. If they're so disenchanted by their world that they feel it important to remain guarded and divisive, I doubt their search is happiness but rather a mutually complementary stance in negativity. Wonderful, let's all party with those people.
My wife is a believer. I married her in a non-denominational church only because she met me half way regarding my revulsion of cathaholics (loathe entirely - Grinch). She wanted a church wedding with the yada-yada pomp, circumstance, ceremony and pageantry. Groovy. What did I care? It meant nothing to me so I cooperated and we survived the event. We ditched the reception and went to Chucky-Cheese for pizza.
The couple seem to be internally conflicted because one way, the church, is one aspect of permission and the justice of the peace is the other permission. Perhaps they should do a Romeo and Juliet benefit and free themselves of the burden entirely.
1. You must beg the government for permission. Without the wedding licence you are not officially married. The Church does not sanctify marriages, that is the preview of our government. What your friend is saying is that he will have a marriage ceremony as long as he is not really married.
2. If you can find a Church to marry you, then have a Church wedding. It will probably go smoother if you do not tell them you are atheist and agnostic. Remember, because you have a church wedding does not mean you are actually married. Churches do not marry people, the government marries people.
(Do you know what agnostic means? It does not sound like you do.) Atheism is a person who does not believe in god. Agnosticism is a claim about knowledge. An agnostic simply says god can not be known but it says nothing about belief. Given that there is no evidence for a god and that god can not be known, do you believe that a god exists or not. An agnostic Christian, a Christian who knows there is no evidence, still chooses to believe. An agnostic Atheist, chooses not to believe.
My wife and I got married in the rose garden of the city's park by a JP..... had the reception in the local sportsman club hall... my son got married in the local park and daughter did a quaker wedding where you just send the paper work in and bam you are married no taking of vows ... wife is a believer and both kids went to church till they were able to drive once they knew it was not a requirement to go to church on Sundays they stopped.
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