I'm extremely thankful to live in a country where my family cannot legally kill me over my atheism to their god.
However, every day I am also reminded as to why it's great to be sixteen and moving out in two years. I went from living in some sort of Peter Pan syndrome of never wanting to grow up and leave my family, to literally counting down the days until graduation. This is so unlike me, as I love my family more than anything, and used to have such good relationships with everyone. It's amazing how a change/lack of faith can so quickly disturb that though. It seems as if overnight I became the enemy. Everything I said or did was blasphemy, and I went from being the little girl my parents were proud of, to a teenager going through a "rebellious stage".
I have lived a great deal of my life in denial because of everything that has been shoved at me by my family (not just religion)
I refuse to live that way any more. As I grow older, it is only natural for me to discover things and find my own way. My family is just going to have to eventually accept this if they want me in their lives.
The fighting, screaming, crying, and persecution MUST stop. I'm not counting on it belittling any time soon though, as in the past week alone, I've had my parents shut off my internet (I'm at school right now), my mom scream at the top of her lungs at me (for three hours) for "ignoring Jesus", and my own little brother tell me he thought I was being awful.
Funny thing is, the only thing I've done "bad" in the past year is admit to not believing in their god.
I respect their beliefs, however silly I find them, and never start arguments. I can honestly swear on that. I can also swear that during the arguments they start with fury, I remain 110% calm and open minded. It's the opposite on their part, and if anyone is "awful", it's them.
Suddenly everything is about me and "Satans attack" on me. It doesn't matter if it's taco night and we're talking about Telletubbies, it will somehow develop into a full blown attack on Kaylee party. (Yes, that's my name)
I knew my relationship with my family was pretty bad when I woke up this morning, for the first time since pre-k, being thoroughly ecstatic for school.
I like school, because for a while I get to be with people who love me for me, and it restores my hope in life enough to survive at home.
This site brings a similar hope. Sorry for the rant :*
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I am so sorry you are having to go through this Kaylee. My family had a similar attitude, however; I had left home. That was many years ago, but I still remember how I was treated. What your going through is going to make the next couple of years longer than they would seem other-wise. I don't see how they think they can change your mind by bullying you. Its good you are able to still contact this site to confide in others that know what your going through. I wish you the best.
I'll stay strong, this site definitely helps, thank you :)
Keep in mind that their tirades are a sign that they themselves are unsure.
Stay rational and don't let them sway your mind.
You are doing exactly the correct things by finding stress relief here and at school.
I'm so sorry that you're in this "Prison" Kaylee. When you turn 18, I suggest that we all get together and have a big party to celebrate your liberation.
Count me in for Kaylee's liberation party!
Lol that would be awesome :)
Keep your head up Kaylee!! I'm sure every member of this site understands the struggles you are going through and I'm also sure we will all be more than willing to give a helping hand to a fellow friend. I understand your situation well due to being 17 myself but I must say my family tries to be supportive even though I can see their disappointment in their eyes when we discuss the subject. I find the outside world to be harder due to the abundance of people who will befriend you one moment only to turn you away once they realize how you think. Don't worry though nobody can change you if you don't want them to. So keep thinking for yourself and know there are people you can come to that understand!! I also think the liberation party is a swell idea :)
I will :) Thank you for your support!
Anytime!! When the people around you are pushing you down you have to look up and find the group of people willing to help you back up. Congrats Ms.Kaylee, you found your group!! ☺️
Kaylee look at it as a stage in life.
I found out that making people happy is sometimes better then telling them how wrong they are.
That is why I do the opposite here lol.
In psychology you learn that first you need to agree with the person then modify what he is saying to get him where you want him, thus he himself realizing how stupid his idea was.
So when someone says: God is real
The reply could achieve better response if you say:
Yea I think he is but he hasn't contacted me yet. I have asked him many times to have less shouting in the house but he hasn't replied since.
Rather then I have no reason to think that he even exists.
This way you agree with them and show them that their claim is nor representing reality, so either they stop shouting or their god will never contact you.
Learn to use their brainwashing against them, Christianity has several weak spots.
One of them is that they should love their enemies including Satan, so why do they love Satan and not you, their daughter?
I'll try that, I've definitely learned I have to seem open minded, otherwise it just adds fuel to the fire. I know they love me, they've admitted their tantrums are out of fear for my supposed soul, it just gets rough sometimes when I feel as if they're stuck in a constant state of being fooled by religion.
Shutting off the internet. That sounds like what my parents would have done if I still lived with them when I cam out. The first thing they said was to keep off the internet looking for reasons not to believe in God. It is telling of a believe that is so afraid that new information will shatter all belief. Chances are, in my opinion, that belief must not be true. I just don't understand why parents, my own included, are so afraid of information that they spend so much time trying to keep people from it rather than realizing that knowledge is power, and any true belief should be strenghthened by new evidence, not diminished by it. I feel for you, Kaylee, and I can't wait until you get out of there. I still remember telling my mother (I love her to death, but we get along great when I can go home when I'm ready, and not at all when I am stuck in her house) that as soon as I turned 18 I was moving out. She, of course, said I was just being rebellious and that I wouldn't. I was already out before my 18th birthday and I haven't regretted it for a minute. I'll take my weekly visit, where we get along much better. Hopefully the same will happen for you, and seperation from them will strengthen your relationship, and mostimportantly, they'll realize what they are going to be missing if they continue to treat you the way they do. Most parents would rather have an atheist child rather than lose their daughter.
:) I definitely agree, I think things will be much less hectic when I don't have to live with them and forcibly attend church every Wednesday and Sunday.
I know I've said it before: I grew up in a family that encouraged me to question things. I can't imagine the strength it must take to "come out of the atheist closet" in the situations many of you guys are/were in. You guys are my heroes!
That's awesome. As far as coming out of the closet is concerned, I'm really outspoken about my opinions, (my family is usually respectful) so it ended up slipping, lol. Sadly, it did not have the outcome I expected. I expected tension and worry to last for a while, but never the level of hostility I received. They explained that much of it was because they felt I mocked them, but that was never my intention. Last night my mother and I came to the compromise that there would be peace as long as I kept quiet about religion in front of my younger brother and in our house in general. She made it clear that our house was Christian, conservative republican. As much as it's against my nature to conform, or act as something I'm not, I'll have to do it until I move out to avoid war. At least I only have two years left :p
Stay strong Sloth. Days like this are the moments in your life that define who you will become and what you will achieve. Of all the things you could say to your parents, be them well thought or or in the heat of a moment, choose the arguments (points to make not starting a yelling fight) that you want to make but do not always stay silent. I can tell that you are ahead of your age and I don't believe I need to preach to you. Just keep up your independence and I know you will become something awesome.
I will :) thank you!