Athiest proofs

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TheBlindWatchmaker's picture
Athiest proofs

Given the nature of the recent 'proofs' of a god from theists,
I thought for a bit of fun, we could offer our friends of the religious ilk a glimpse at their folly.

Post a 'proof' of the position that their is no god using similar methods that they use, perhaps they will see how dim witted they can be.

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Old man shouts at clouds's picture
I feel in my heart there is

I feel in my heart there is no god

Cognostic's picture
The Atheist's Wager:

The Atheist's Wager:

Believe in God and God does not exist:
You spend a lifetime giving money to a Church, praying instead of acting to get what you want, and wasting all your Sundays instead of spending quality time with friends or family. Your head is filled with delusional thinking and you learn to hate homosexuals as well as any who do not agree with your version of God. You give up control of your own life and imagine some invisible being pulling the strings behind the scene. You live in fear for no other reason than you have bought into the delusion of a God that punishes any who do not please him.

Believe in God and God exists:
You get to go to a place where you worship this god night and day. You get to watch your family members and friends burn in the fiery pits of Hell while you laugh joyfully at their suffering. You can listen to Jesus read from the bible over and over and over again for all eternity. Your celestial day (and night) job is to sing God’s praises. You live in a heavenly North Korea for ever and ever.

Don't believe in God and God exists:
You eschew one version of hell for another. You stand on your own two feet as a man that is more moral than the butchering beast that has condemned you to Hell. You have a justified sense of pride as you refuse to bow down to the murdering asshole of the bible. Yes you suffer but you suffer like a whole, complete, and worthy human being, very much unlike the giggling assholes that look down on you from heaven with their foolish grins imagining they are free and they are forced to spend their lives worshiping the evil bastard they once thought loved them. You clearly see the injustice of this monster and work to overthrown his rein. Satan did it once and it can happen again.

You don't believe in god and god does not exist.
You are in charge of your life. You choose your goals and direction. You enjoy every sunset and every breath you take. This life is short. You value your friendships for they are rare and short lived. You tell people you love them in this life because there is no other. You live your life to the fullest because there is one life and one chance to be the person you really want to be.

Choose Wisely!

David Killens's picture
If god is so perfect and

If god is so perfect and knows all, how come god's message, the bible, has spawned over 33,00 different sects?

One would assume that god's message would be so powerful and understandable, everyone would arrive at the same conclusions.

David Killens's picture
God loves us. Yet every five

God loves us. Yet every five seconds a child dies from a premature death.

David Killens's picture
jesus died for our sins.

jesus died for our sins.

Yet right now he resides in heaven at the right hand of god.

So jesus accepts "death by crucifixion" and a bad weekend, and the reward is an eternity as the senior vice president of heaven and earth.

No much of a sacrifice to me.

Kataclismic's picture
Humans choke to death on

Humans choke to death on cheeseburgers while dolphins swallow and breathe simultaneously = proof there is no god.

Cognostic's picture
"If God is all powerful,

"If God is all powerful, could God create a being more powerful than Himself?"

Argument from free will contends that omniscience and the free will of humanity are incompatible and that any conception of God that incorporates both properties is therefore inherently contradictory: if God is omniscient, then God already knows humanity's future, contradicting the claim of free will.

The "no reason" argument tries to show that an omnipotent and omniscient being would not have any reason to act in any way, specifically by creating the universe, because it would have no needs, wants, or desires since these very concepts are subjectively human.

Up To My Neck's picture
“God never makes mistakes”

“God never makes mistakes” This is the argument often used to belittle homosexuals. Well, what about people born with physical disabilities? What about mental disorders? How about crippling disease children are often born with around the world? Yet those stupid bastards point out homosexuals as mistakes god wouldn’t make!! Fuck them and god!

Cognostic's picture
Atheist Toast

Atheist Toast


Attach Image/Video?: 

Randomhero1982's picture
Premise 1 - All things must

Premise 1 - All things must have a cause.
Premise 2 - The big bang must have had a cause.
Premise 3 - I like sausage sandwiches.
Conclusion - Pigs created the universe.

Cognostic's picture
The Minimal Facts Argument

The Minimal Facts Argument
1) Jesus died by crucifixion
2) Soon afterwards, followers had experienced the risen Jesus
3) Their lives were transformed and they died in horrible ways for the truth.
4) that these things were taught, soon after the crucifixion.
5) Christians have always had minimal intelligence and an inability to question fantasy.

xenoview's picture
I have prayed to god, and god

I have prayed to god, and god hasn't answered, so there is no god.
I have ask god to reveal itself, god has failed to do so, so there is no god.

TheBlindWatchmaker's picture
Very good, the sillier and

Very good, the sillier and more far fetched the better.

Tin-Man's picture
* God is all-knowing. (Knows

* God is all-knowing. (Knows EVERYTHING)
* God is all-powerful. (Can do ANYTHING)
* God created EVERYTHING, from the entire universe down to the tiniest of each and every single subatomic particle.
* God is PERFECT. God NEVER makes mistakes.
* God has a plan. It is a PERFECT PLAN for all of humanity and all that exists.
* NOTHING can ever change God's PERFECT PLAN.
* We are ALL part of God's Perfect Plan which CAN NEVER BE CHANGED.
* God made us who we are in EXACTLY the way he wanted us to be in order to fulfill the Perfect Plan.
* God is all-loving, all-good, and all-forgiving.

(BUT, at the same time.....)

* God will test you to determine if you truly trust and believe in him.
* To relay his crucial message to humanity, God relies on a cryptic, vague, and contradicting book written by warring desert nomads thousands of years ago, during a time when a vast majority of humans were illiterate.
* Pray to God to help you change your life and make it better. (Or to help your favorite sports team win the big game. Gotta have priorities.)
* If other individuals and/or groups do not believe in God the same way YOU believe in God, then those other idiots are obviously WRONG, because YOU (and your group) are the only TRUE followers of God. Therefore, all those other heathens must be wiped out before they are allowed to contaminate the rest of the world.
* God created Satan and allows Satan to tempt God's precious humans to trick them into straying away from God's Perfect Plan.
* God created hell (managed by Satan) as a place for eternal torture for those humans stupid enough to have been led astray by Satan.

And the list goes on and on and on and on and on....

(Slightly edited for better clarity.)

algebe's picture
Proof of the non-existence of

Proof of the non-existence of god:

President Donald Trump


Cognostic's picture
By definition, God is a Dick,

By definition, God is a Dick, a bigger Dick than which none greater can be imagined.
A Dick that necessarily exists in reality is even greater than a Dick that does not necessarily exist.
Thus, by definition, if this Dick exists as an idea in the mind but does not necessarily exist in reality, then we can imagine something that is greater than the Dick. A dick plus 1. But that is not the greatest Big Dick. We have to run out of plus 1 to get to the really Big Dick. But we cannot imagine something that is greater than the Biggest Dick. It's a really big Dick.
Thus, if Dick exists in the mind as an idea, then Dick necessarily exists in reality.
Dick does exists in the mind as an idea. Therefore, Dick necessarily exists in reality.

Kataclismic's picture
Eagles can spot a rabbit at

Eagles can spot a rabbit at almost two miles and I need glasses to read a book right in front of me = proof there is no god.

TheBlindWatchmaker's picture
But the human eye is

But the human eye is intelligently designed!

Tin-Man's picture
@Kata Re: "Eagles can spot a

@Kata Re: "Eagles can spot a rabbit at almost two miles and I need glasses to read a book right in front of me = proof there is no god."

Awww, quit yer bitchin'. You obviously do not understand God's perfect plan very well. There you are hanging on your little string just a few inches above your soft bedding, and you have your food conveniently brought to you every day. So what if you can't see very well? God takes care of you in other ways. As long as you can smell your way to your food, you are golden. Besides, reading isn't such a big priority anyway, and at least God did make man smart enough to be able to make you a tiny pair of rodent sized glasses to allow you to read. The eagle, on the other hand, is out there in the dangerous wild having to catch/kill it's own food (possibly some of your cousins) to survive. That is why God gave the eagle the ability to see clearly for long distances. See? All part of God's perfect plan.

Cognostic's picture

Viagra, therefore heaven.
Heaven, therefore God.

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