Controlling God

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Plabon Sarkar's picture
Controlling God

Isn't it interesting to control the all-powerful being in the universe! Even if controlling that all-powerful being in slight extent is interesting & this generates much contentment in me.
In this article, I'll explain how I control the God-All Powerful being. Hope that you will try to control the God after reading this.
All-powerful, all-knowing, perfectly good and many more attributes are used to describe God.
Here is how I control God-
It is evident from religious scriptures that God gets angry & if we follow the rituals what God wants to do, he gets pleased.
God becomes angry for various reasons including disobeying Him, when his glory is given away, doing unjust, engaging in sin, homosexuality etc. Even, questing Him & His attributes, powers, activities, presence etc leads God to enraged.

On the other hand, if we follow the God's guidelines & rituals, believe in Him, praise him through Psalms or simply pray and want him to forgive us makes God happy.

This characteristic is the key to control God. If I do things that make God angry or happy- then intentional doing of these things will give me some power over Him.

For example- sometimes, when I feel bored, I stroll & make some fun. I intentionally tell myself something like- God is a sexually depraved pervert, God is powerless and can't do anything. I know that that very moment God gets angry. This gives me immense pleasure because I can control the most powerful being's mood. Controlling the God is a source of my elation. When I think God is too much angry & need soothing, I started praising Him & promise I'll do some good deeds in His name. And, I can imagine his satisfied face!

You may tell me a lunatic but in my country, there's the least source of entertainment(That explains why my country is overpopulated) and exposure of my religious view(atheism) could lead me under the public wrath that will ensure my death in no time. This the way I play with God.

And, the most important thing is that-any rational human can infer that ability to control God annihilates the God's omnipotence from Him. And, God without omnipotence is not God at all.



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xenoview's picture
Can you prove a god is real?

Can you prove a god is real? Any testable evidence, that can pass peer review? You got it right when you said god was in your imagination.

Daniel's picture
Xenoview, I dont think the op

Xenoview, I dont think the op infers a belief in god, but the exact opposite. I think it was mostly meant to toy with theists.


Alembé's picture
I'm trying to figure out why

I'm trying to figure out why I would expend all that effort to control something that does not exist.

Daniel's picture
I dont think you would

I dont think you would actually carry it out, but just use the logic behind it to show theists how illogical the idea of omnipotence is. Also, it would be a entertaining conversation :)

algebe's picture
It's an interesting idea.

It's an interesting idea. Theists tell us that god is infinite, eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, etc., yet he's subject to terrible mood swings that depend on the behavior of mere mortals like us. The quickest way to calm him down is to leave a bit of meat on the BBQ too long, because he just loves that smoke.

Jesus wept! What a crock.

Daniel's picture
Right on, Algebe!

Right on, Algebe!

Daniel's picture
I look forward to using this

I look forward to using this logic in my next conversation with a theist. Thanks!

chimp3's picture
OP: Very funny! An atheist

OP: Very funny! An atheist thought experiment.

MCDennis's picture
This is nonsensical.

This is nonsensical.

Daniel's picture
Why, MCD?

Why, MCD?

CharlieMarshall's picture
Meanwhile, in another part of

Meanwhile, in another part of the world...

*Hakuna Matata... What a wonderful phrase...*

*Hakuna Matata.. Ain't no passing craze*

CharlieMarshall's picture
So you're telling me you're

So you're telling me you're worshiping an imaginary All Powerful God so that you can tell yourself that you can control his every whim ?

Are you sure you don't have ego/power trip issues ?

CharlieMarshall's picture
Sorry, ignore my comments I

Sorry, ignore my comments I hadn't read the last two paragraphs...

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