Is hiding your thoughts a good thing?

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Arabi's picture
Is hiding your thoughts a good thing?

well I will talk a little bit about my self to let you understand my view, sorry for my English I will try my best to explain my thoughts.
I'm ex-Muslim who group up in religious family in small village of one of the Arabic countries, when I was in school I used to help my family, friends , cousins even my Teachers in the technical staff because I'm good at this area, when they come to me with there problem and ask me to help, some times I mange to solve their problems, after solving their problems I feel by their happens, it was good feeling, after a while I realized the real happiness in helping people, so I decide to make a change in my community since my community straggled with different problems one of them is the Education, I faced different problem when I was studying but I managed to overcome all of the obstacles and be a good student in my university, when I was in the fourth year of my study I get a scholarship to study in Europe for one semester as exchange student, I was really happy with it, when I was there I met new people from different countries who have different religions, when I returned to my home I started to think seriously about my religion, after that I decide to left Islam and live in new city far from my village to get job and improve my skills, but the thing here all the people who know me and respect me don't know that I left Islam and if the know that they well be disappointed and maybe will reject me and don't accept me because the strongly believers, is that easy to hide your thoughts and try to be a different person? to make a change in your community and be happy with them?



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Nyarlathotep's picture
First off: I have to

First off: I have to recommend caution. Don't put yourself at risk. If atheists get assaulted or killed where you live, simply for being atheists; I wouldn't tell anyone!

If you are lucky enough to not have to worry about that: then you have a tough decision to make that I think many of us have had to make. For example: my friends and family know, but my co-workers do not. I have little doubt I'd be in serious danger of losing my job, should senior management where I work ever discover my "dirty secret".

LogicFTW's picture
That is crazy you have to do

That is crazy you have to do that nylar.

'Course I had to do the same for the longest time, until I got the skills needed and started working for myself.

It is a form of religious persecution, but you never hear about "the poor atheist" when we face that, would never make the news cycle as a problem, where as any actual religion will have their time in media when it's followers face persecution, especially in the workplace.

Simon Moon's picture
Welcome to AtheistRepublic!

Welcome to AtheistRepublic!

Yes, do not feel the obligation to reveal your true thoughts if it will get you ostracized, shunned or worse.

Your personal well being, and mental and physical health should be your top concerns.

If you are willing to accept the possible consequences if you 'come out', go for it. For some people, being honest with others, is worth it. The more 'out' atheists there are, the better for all atheists!

But again, your safety should be your major concern.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
An outward display of piety

An outward display of piety is probably safest for you.
In Europe especially the UK most of the population attended church services and had an outward show of conformity. To do different was to be socially ostracised and lose promotion and status. Not until the 1920's did the slow growth of societal non conformism really begin. It gained traction ever since, until the 1970's when all forms of religion were mocked and the decline truly started in earnest.

You are in the position of the early stages of the decline of Islam. If you speak out you will have serious consequences. An outward show of conformism and a private support for the opposite should see you and your family safe.

You should see the effects and realise you are not alone in your solitary resistance, not alone in your thoughts. Wait until the mass of opinion pushes your society in a secular direction.It maybe not in your lifetime but the day will surely come.

Cognostic's picture
@Is it a good thing to hide

@Is it a good thing to hide your thoughts?
It depends on the consequences.

I work in an office full of Christians. While they do all know that I am not religious (A safer thing for me let others know than for you.) I do not mock their "God bless yous" or their "I'm happy because I have Jesus." On occasion I have said "I'm happy without Jesus because I am not religious." So, people do know but we all manage to get along.

The short answer is that relationships are difficult and religion with its beliefs can be a relationship killer. Religious beliefs can also be a Job Ender. Whatever you do, be careful and think before you act.

With that said - holding in your ideas can be a horrible experience. Repressing them all the time is probably not healthy. It would drive me nuts. You do not have to wear your ideas like a set of clothes for everyone to see but you do need to find a safe place for intellectual exchange so that you can release them and explore them. WELCOME TO AR. This is a place where you can do "Exactly That."

LogicFTW's picture


I would advise you to "play the game." Keep your secular/atheist thoughts to yourself. And slowly learn what is and is not acceptable to your family from a position of strength. Where you know something and they do not. Do not reveal your cards yet!

It sucks to not have family/friends that you can talk to about this. I suggest you try and slowly probe until you can find someone that thinks similar to you. Talk with them.

Also feel free to talk here. We are all here discussing it, in a safe environment, (keep your anonymity!) Just having others to talk about out, even in online format can be helpful.

David Killens's picture
I decided to hide my atheism

I decided to hide my atheism from my mother because I was sure that her knowing would cause unnecessary anguish to her. By doing so, I also had to keep it away from everyone else, in case news trickled to her.

I knew it was being dishonest, by doing the wrong thing for the right reason.

But what is very important is that you understand that you are putting on a show and being dishonest. Do not shy away from that fact, do not sugar-coat it, do not pretend you are 100% perfect and pure. It may be acceptable to deceive others, but never deceive yourself.

My mother finally passed, and if anyone confronts me about my atheism, I will tell them to their face, yes, I did lie.

Arabi, it appears that right now you must be deceitful. One day you may be able to drop the pretenses. But always consider the long term consequences of your actions.

boomer47's picture


Tell no one.

Your religious beliefs are nobody else's business.

If you live in a Muslim country, being a muslim apostate can be physically dangerous. Let people think what they wish. If it is to avoid danger, lie through your teeth. After all, Muslims are permitted to lie or even to pretend to convert to another faith to protect themselves,.

Perhaps consider helping others anonymously.

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