Jesus smelled like armpits too!

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Darkhenoc1's picture
Jesus smelled like armpits too!

I live in a very Christian town were strange people like me usually keep to them selves. At work one day a co-worker who is very into his belief was kinda picking at me with it. So, I said, you know I think I'm going to write a controversial book and call it Jesus smelled like armpits too. You would have thought I had spit in his face he reacted so badly. First off, Jesus, if he existed, did smell like armpits. I mean, how much more obvious could you get? Secondly, I don't believe in this crap in the first place so no, I don't have to show some great respect for a fairy tale. So then why all the offense? If you can't accept the simplest parts of being human, how could you hope to understand the more complicated? If he was a man he sweated and stunk and farted and used the bathroom, and probably wiped with his left hand. I've read the bible, I went to catholic school, it was a class. The only thing I got out of it was love all, judge none. But that's all Christians seem capable of. Not all but most. If you offend their faith your actually hurting their feelings because you make them feel stupid. Ignorance does not equal stupidity. These childish rules from thousands of years ago can not take us into the future that they don't even believe in cause their waiting for their rapture. We are at a dangerous point in our evolution. We may not make it.

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Darkhenoc1's picture
Hello miss Amber, it's not

Hello miss Amber, it's not that I don't understand. I understand what you believe. I lived that life for a long time. I just don't believe in virgin births or miracles anymore. If you choose to live your life by a two thousand year old human sacrifice story, more power to you, but it's not relevant in today's society. If you want to swim from one side of the pool to the other, you have to let go, right. We can't move forward holding on to the past. Having said that, there are lessons in the past we need not forget but, leave the dogma at the door.

ThePragmatic's picture
Well, it's seems to be very

Well, it's seems to be very important to the myth that Jesus was supposed to be a real human "in the flesh", otherwise the the whole idea of suffering and dying for everyone's sins wouldn't work. So, it shouldn't be insulting to "humanize" Jesus, quite the opposite. Jesus would have smelled like armpits, he would have had to sweat and go and do No 1 and No 2 just as any human.
But many probably have a mental picture of a supernaturally clean son of god and therefore take it as an insult.

Another part of it might be that, as you "insult" Jesus he takes it as a powerful rejection of himself, as Jesus is most likely a part of his own ego.
An attempt at explaining the animosity believers feel when their faith is rejected.

Darkhenoc1's picture
Hello again miss Amber. All

Hello again miss Amber. All apologies, I am new to this site. I am not familiar with everyone yet. It is funny how your satire and irony sounds a lot like real Christianity.

Thredder's picture
Not only did his armpits

Not only did his armpits smell, but various churches in 14th century Europe had vials of his collected sweat that pilgrims would pay money to sniff, right after they had gazed on portions of the true cross.... true story.


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