Schizophrenia?

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SeniorCitizen007's picture
Schizophrenia?

Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has said that he "talks to God", when alone in the privacy of his home ... using "Tongues" (i.e. he talks nonsense using made up words). He has said that he believes that God replies through the speech of people he later has conversations with. As a member of the House of Lords perhaps he thinks that God is speaking to him through the mouths of other members of that governing body?

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Cognostic's picture
Everyone speaks to God in

Everyone speaks to God in tongues at home alone. We all do it and we all talk about it behind your back. You are the only person we know who does not do this.

Sheldon's picture
Ok that just made laugh out

Ok that just made laugh out loud.

Brilliant...

Tin-Man's picture
Yeah, Senior, like Cog said,

Yeah, Senior, like Cog said, get with the program. Everybody who is anybody knows that everybody speaks to god in tongues when home alone. Duh! It's, like, the absolute latest fad. Don't be such a square, dude! Gibberish Gab is all the rage nowadays! You been hiding in a cave or something?

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
Wa dum, bedabba , ipkish.

Wa dum, bedabba , ipkish. Sadu fratwendas dongetury bababedebba. Srira?

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: "Wa dum,

@Old Man Re: "Wa dum, bedabba , ipkish. Sadu fratwendas dongetury bababedebba. Srira?"

Aw, man. Really? I mean, you really shouldn't talk that way about Cog. It might hurt his feelings.... Oh, wait. I just realized, that is actually GOD talking that way about Cog and channeling it through you. Okay, you're off the hook.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ TM

@ TM

What????? All I said : "excuse me madame, I have left my bicycle in your stockings, May I retrieve it? " God works in mysterious ways. You must have read out of context not realising it was a metaphor for an allegory and times were different then.

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: "excuse me

@Old Man Re: "excuse me madame, I have left my bicycle in your stockings, May I retrieve it? "

Nope. Nope-nope-nope... I read it just fine. That is DEFINITELY referring to Cog.

Old man shouts at clouds's picture
@ Tin Man

@ Tin Man

And that's your problem right there. You read it but you didnt realise you were reading it wrong! If you go to www.fraudulentclaimsaboutgod.com you will see the Pastor Rick Lieshisbootyoff, PHD and Bar clearly states that in ancient times "Madame" referred to a virgin of 250 year of age licking a buffalo. Bicycle refers to Bananas as everyone with a college education should know and "May I retrieve it" is an allegory for "Ratty stole them and has them in his back pack"

It is all very simple when you learn to read properly TM....

Tin-Man's picture
@Old Man Re: "You read it

@Old Man Re: "You read it but you didnt realise you were reading it wrong!"

Au contraire, my good man. You used the term "ipkish", and that CLEARLY is in reference to dear ol' Cog. However, had you used the term "ikpish" instead, then your interpretation makes perfect sense. So, I am now forced to ask, was that a typo or a mis-translation? Because when you take such a metaphorical allegory out of substandard context, the overwhelming literal interpretation causes catastrophically lucid confusion leading to delusions of factual myths being categorically randomized. And we all know what kind of problems THAT causes... *rolling eyes*...

rat spit's picture
Who here has the gift of

Who here has the gift of translation? I’ve always found the “translation” part really funny. Like it wasn’t fucked up enough some Christian is yammering on - there’s an even more fucked up Christian “translating” it. Relevant Bible verses here:

“If anyone speaks in a tongue, let there be two or at the most three, each in turn, and let one interpret. But if there is no interpreter, let him keep silent in church, and let him speak to himself and to God.” (1 Corinthians 14: 27-28)

“Therefore let him who speaks in a tongue pray that he may interpret. For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my understanding is unfruitful.” (1 Corinthians 14:13-14)

One at a time, for fuck’s sake! And shut the fuck up if the translator isn’t around! Jesus Christ! Sometimes...

And if you want your bananas back, you have to attend Thursday’s ... uhh ... Sacrificial Sacrifice at Pete’s Public House on Howe Street. You know the one, Cog. 7 pm on the dot. Be there or hamma yamma shalla dhamma samma!

Cognostic's picture
https://www.youtube.com/watch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2V2KmeUakAs

For fk sake. I refuse to talk in tongues any more if it is going to cause this sort of unrest.

arakish's picture
I guess I am the only one who

I guess I am the only one who does NOT talk to god. I talk to Myself and Me. Me tends to be nicer in his answers, but Myself can be a real bastard. I also talks to others, never allowing Myself to speak to others. Never let Myself speak to others. Oh boy, what a mess that would be. I allows Me to sometimes speak to others because he is nicer than I am.

Tin-Man's picture
Hey, Rat Spit! Have you been

Hey, Rat Spit! Have you been hypnotizing Arakish again?!?

arakish's picture
@ Tin-Man Re: "Hypnotism"

@ Tin-Man Re: "Hypnotism"

Problem is I cannot be hypnotized. A professional tried, but did not work. I and Me know it is just Me, Myself, and I switching around, so none can get hypnotized. Sometimes it is nice having multiple personalities. Sorry, but rat spit ain't got anything to do with it.

At least I know I am real and so is Me and Myself. As for rat spit, well I says he is lost. Me says it is a damn shame he won't seek help as I have. Myself says, …, … Let's just not type what he says. It's bad enough Me and I have to hear it.

Besides that is how I talk to Myself, Me, and I. How else do you think I can be brilliant sometimes. Usually it is Me who is brilliant and I just pass it along, but Me is also the most quiet and introverted. Myself, well, he is as extroverted as anyone can be, but I have to keep him at bay. Then Me and I usually have to have an argument with the asshole Myself until he runs out of steam with his mean-ass self.

Of course, being a Tin-Man usually means only one program can run at once. Thus, you don't have multiples.

rmfr

Tin-Man's picture
@Arakish Re: "Of course,

@Arakish Re: "Of course, being a Tin-Man usually means only one program can run at once."

LMAO... Oh, you have no idea how incredibly true that statement really is!... LMAO.... Thanks, ol' friend! I needed a good laugh.

arakish's picture
@ Tin-Man

@ Tin-Man

No problem friend. Wished I return as many as you given me. Makes me glad I obey those commandments.

rmfr

rat spit's picture
Oh yeah. He’s fine. I’m the

Oh yeah. He’s fine. I’m the one who needs help. *shh* Tin Man. We’re gunna need the straight jacket again.

Cognostic's picture
@arakish

@arakish
You non-believing heathen. May your branches wither and wilt. May the magical sky beings curse you as Jesus cursed the mighty fig tree for its transgression of not providing fruit to the lord out of season. The voice of God awaits your repentance because he is a kind, loving and forgiving god. If you do not repent, you will suffer the pits of the fires of hell and it will be your choice.

Now Excuse Me ------ Even though this is said in jest and to prove the point of the utter ignorance of belief in God and voices talking in our heads. I have to go wash my hands for typing this utter shit and wash my mouth out with soap for using such ignorant/moronic statements. What's really interesting is the fact that when I talk like a Christian for any length of time at all, I really feel like shit. (I think I will start a new thread.)

arakish's picture
@ Cognostic

@ Cognostic

LMAOWF

Makes me glad I obey those forum commandments.

rmfr

rat spit's picture
Uh. Yes. Yes, I did. But that

Uh. Yes. Yes, I have. But that was to get him to quit smoking. Although, you know, I’m not a licenced hypnotist. I didn’t even pass the final exam back at hypnotist online community college. Lack of studying really.

Tin-Man's picture
@Rat Spit Re: " I didn’t

@Rat Spit Re: " I didn’t even pass the final exam back at hypnotist online community college. Lack of studying really."

Yeah, I know what you mean. I would be lousy at online courses. I'm too easily distracted by a good solitaire game.

Cognostic's picture
Anyone can become a licensed

Anyone can become a licensed hypnotist in 3 days and 300 dollars. It takes no studying at all. HYPNOTISIM IS BULLSHIT and you can learn everything you need to know from a book in the library on HOW TO ---

(I did not assert it could not be useful.) It is based on BULLSHIT WOO WOO GARBAGE.

https://www.nlpcoaching.com/modern-hypnosis-training-certification/

Tin-Man's picture
Ronald, go peddle your shit

Edit: (Removed post because it was no longer relevant since the drug dealing Ronald troll got escorted from the building.)

arakish's picture
???????? rmfr

????????

rmfr

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