No, do not worry, I have not found "god" I still consider myself a strong atheist, but a thought occurred to me that I had to share, if anything, for a bit of self deprecating humour.
The easiest way to explain this thought is a Santa Claus comparison:
What if, much like Santa Claus, for god/religion the vast majority of the human population is in on the joke/lie/trick? That almost no one believes in the nonsense of god/religion, but to help out people that do not see the obvious they do not say anything around the rare religious person, but also for the people that do not see that it is immediately obvious, (me and maybe some atheist here,) to just about everyone else knows there is none of this god/religion nonsense and just about everyone knows this and knows everyone knows this. Just like Santa Claus is made up to keep kids happy but all the "adults" in the room know the truth but keep it to themselves this knowledge.
All these more enlightened, intelligent people just humour religious people and loud mouthed atheist just to be nice. Just to support us, like a parent would support a child's santa claus lie.
For the theist: "There there, of course there is god, that has a plan for you, and a heaven where you and all your friends/family are after they die." Now you can fall asleep with a smile on your face believing this lie.
And for a few of us loudmouth atheists that do not fully understand: "there there, of course you are right, and billions of other people got it all horribly wrong, rest easy tonight knowing you got it 'right.' Sleep well tonight champ!"
The scary part to me is, I wish this was the case, that I was simply a fool, and just about everyone else was in on the joke/trick. That the vast majority of people, (lets say 90+ percent,) treat god like they do Santa Claus for kids, just for adults not clever enough to know the obvious, that not only is there no god, but it is obvious that just about everyone knows there is no god/religion.
Instead of what it is today: where a vast majority of people on some level believe in the god fairy tale, with a few of us that can look at actual evidence and sound reasoning, fighting back the tide of ignorance and burying heads in sand.
This idea of course is garbage, it is not falsifiable, there is no evidence for it, but it makes a good example to me, of a question/theory/idea that is not falsifiable, which should be discarded rather then given legitimacy. At least beyond a conversation piece/debate.
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