I myself was a Hindu for 16.75 years, but when I started questioning everything, an empty void started in mind. My mind still sometimes wants to believe again. Why is that? Because of childhood memories & will I ever be able to overcome it? Why do we strictly want to just believe sometimes and not become a skeptic(maybe using brain all the time hurts) everytime?
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Because it's all around you. It's part of your culture. And guess what? You don't have to give it all up. In fact, if I hear you skipped Holi this year because atheists aren’t allowed to have fun and chuck coloured powders on their friends, I'll come over there and slap you. Don't make me come over there, Abhi.
I have heard that losing your faith can be like losing your parent, so a grief/loss process is to be expected (see 5 stages of grieving). However the rewards far outweigh the momentary pain of loss and the feeling of isolation from your peers. The freedom you have to explore intellectual avenues, discover new and interesting arguments, undertake "forbidden studies" and yes...eat bacon in some cases (yummmm baaaacccooooon) all will fill that "void" with joy.
And yes if you skip Holi or Diwali then its your loss. Like Christmas here, its a holiday and you are allowed to have fun and joy...just you can leave the whole "god" bit and the attached guilt behind. Just do it!
It is no accident that the most successful religions expose children to the concepts at the youngest ages possible.
Thanks for the support. I will surely now celebrate all festivals and try to be happy.
Because as someone said recently: religion is a security blanket on top of a nice soft bed while reality and true are mountains that individuals must climb
Moving to the atheist position is not a binary act. We may come to the intellectual realization that the religious stuff we were exposed to does not make sense, but casting off years of conditioning and habits may take many years.
For me, I do enjoy Christmas. Not for the religious significance, but the overall sense of community and joy. So there are many aspects of religion we will always be exposed to. The trick is for you to find your own personal silver lining on the cloud.
Although I pray at the altar of intellectual truth, I am willing to lie and be deceitful to avoid hurting others. When I visit my family for Christmas, although they all suspect I am an atheist, I will go along with what's happening, and not introduce anything negative in their celebrations. It is their celebration, I am not going to rain on their parade. And if someone confronts me, I will just reply "not now, but I will definitely talk to you and answer all your questions in two weeks".
One of the major questions we humans ask is "what will happen to me when I die?" We all know the pre-canned theist position. But for us atheists, many just respond "we do not know". That does not mean that when our bodies stop working we cease to exist in every form. We do not know. No one knows.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, "(maybe using brain all the time hurts)." YES! Face it, it is just easier to let someone else tell you how the world is. Thinking takes effort. Thinking takes work. Thinking takes time and energy. Faith and belief require nothing of you at all. Just follow the herd, do as they do and think as they think.
It is easier to be religious. You have more friends if you are religious. You do not question things as much if you are religious. People seem more normal if you are religious. You do not have to be aware of the world around you if you are religious. You do not need to make sense of the worlds religions if you are religious. You can hide in your little bubble of comfort if you are religious. You do not have to take responsibility for your fate, actions, or life if you are religious. After all... as a good Hindu, you were born into a cast and that is your lot in life. And what the hell, your karma is your karma. (Cast and Karma, two of the worlds most profane philosophies ever attested to.)
Personally, I think that the bulk of that urge, that desire for there to be a god, or many gods, is the same thing that drives the love of fantastic stories of wizards and dragons and, well, unicorns (had to get that in there.) To think that the world is so boring and straight forward, most mysteries already answered by science as we delve deeper and deeper into understanding the universe down to that moment of its conception, that when we die, nothing happens and the world just moves on, I think that just stabs at us sometimes. Mocks us. Having been told from birth that there's this mystical being watching over us, analyzing our ever move and thought, and that if we're very good and honor this being, we'll be rewarded a place in their perfect haven for the dead that were right...
That's a little convoluted, I know, but the simplest way I can think to get it across. The idea that there's more to life than meets the eye, that life has some symbolic, profound impact on the universe, it's tasty, tempting, and beautiful. But it's also distracting.
All the time spent in a church pew you could have been home working on that novel, playing with your kids, reading a good book, or whatever it is that drives you personally. The money passed by that little golden plate could be tucked away, saved up, and used for something that actually makes a difference in your own life - family vacation, college fund, et cetera.
Me, I love science. I don't understand half of what I read and hear these days as new discoveries are made, but I still love soaking it all up, knowing that works getting done to understand the universe the way it really is.
But, with that said, I still share that longing you mention, that wish that there were more, something more meaningful. Maybe in a few generations logic will overcome superstition in the mainstream and our children's children will be able to get by without these same anxieties. Best of luck, friend!
Nicely put, IPU.