First of all, I refuse to believe in a heaven/hell or god/devil. That being said, I am affected by those who believe and use it to preach their beliefs. I was abused with these words and those who abused me are dead or out of reach. I cannot get retribution from dead people; when people push their beliefs on me, I get angry and want to destroy their beliefs with what I know and have been through. But then I feel guilty because if I destroy their beliefs, I may destroy them.

People build their beliefs to keep them in line, comfort, or protect themselves. These people think that by pushing their beliefs they're enhancing/solidifying their positions. Do I have the right to say things that may tear down their walls and make them vulnerable to their own self and/or what was programmed into them.

For instance, what I went through to get to mental freedom is a mental breakdown that may leave weaker people in a bad way. Getting rid of programmed fears is not simple for those who have learned to survive with it. The alternative to a belief in god is everything that religions prophecy about. Some can not even begin to go there.

All religious people have the same disrespect for the here and now putting all respect in a god and or after life. They believe that self pride is a sin. Self pride is the true guide, comforter and protector.

How do I not get offended by words when I have a great need to get back at those who used religion to harm me. How do I tell the dead that "if their god exist it does not deserve my respect let alone my worship". How do I get release from religion when it is everywhere and I fear to destroy people. I keep my mouth shut and hate that I can't speak up because if I opened my mouth I would sound like the evil they are warned about. If I did not destroy them as a person I would drive them closer to the lie they believe in. The latter being worse. If I tell my story anywhere people would say that I was angry with god. I am not angry with a non-existent being I am angry at the use of a non-existent being.

I am also dumbfounded at how this non-existent being can have such power over so many intelligent people. With an open mind the beliefs are so childish and so obviously human made. How do believers not see this? Most important how do they convince others to believe this crap? I guess I know how because I said it earlier; I just can't bring myself to understand why pride in one self can loose to religion.

But I guess if you believe that pride is a sin you're basically fucked anyway cause there is no way to exist without some form of pride. In my opinion believing that self pride is a sin creates pride in a god which gives way to prejudice, hate and discontent. Not the peace that belief is supposed to bring. Because you can't be truly peaceful with those who don't live up to your view of god's will and every believer has their own view of god's will. Therefore every believer has a self pride that they do not see but use to judge others with.

- Tamera Jordan